Tuesday, August 14, 2012

35 Weeks

How far along? 35 weeks
Maternity clothes? Pretty much all I wear.
Best moment this week: Ryan coming home! Baby heartbeat and baby shower!
Not so good moment of the week: A lot of pain this week, little sleep most nights and one night where there was honestly not 1 minute of sleep.
Miss Anything? Sleep, breathing, eating normally... just silly stuff like that.
Movement: Moving a lot. He is big enough now that it hurts quite a bit. I think he is standing on his head or something and stretching his body out. My tummy is taking some funky shapes. I think there has been a few times strangers have noticed the belly moving weird and wont stop staring. Either that or they have never seen someone so huge. I don't know.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Food in general just makes me ill. I don't really have much of an appetite. I love milk and lemonade and that's about it. Sometimes ill crave some off the wall item-- like a corn dog but that hasn't been very often.
Gender: Boy 
Symptoms: My back has been hurting like no other. I cant get comfy in any position. I don't sleep much at all. In just the last week I have started to get these shooting pains in my groin and down the right side of my body. It feels like the worst cramps known to man. Ill be walking and feel like I'm going to fall over because of the pain. I then have to hold my pelvic bone on the right side (try to visual this) almost lifting it up. I sometimes think I should make some kind of sling to keep it propped up. So to others if they see me, it looks like I am holding my who-ha but no I am holding the bone right next to my who-ha so please just ignore me. If I don't hold it though- It feels like my crotch will fall off. I have noticed it gets worse when TK is moving in those positions where it feels like he is standing on his head. I get horrible pains in my ribs and the pressure on my crotch. I think he might just be resting on a weird nerve or something which is making it hurt like it does with the shooting pains. 
Emotions: I have been feeling pretty good emotionally but I have been more anxious and impatient than I have in my entire life I think. I am so over waiting. for anything. If I think something needs to be done I need it done right this second. There has been a few nights ill get wake up to pay a bill, right down a todo item, change laundry, file a paper... whatever... because if its not done now it wont get done is what I keep thinking. There are a few things to do in TK's room and I have honestly thought about changing everything because I cant wait for these last few things to get done. We are making a ton of changes with jobs, cars, money, house, etc and I am a crazy beast demanding everyone work at the speed of lightning because I need to have things in order. My poor poor husband has been caught in the middle of many of my meltdowns trying to get things done NOW.
Looking forward to: Just crossing things off my to do list. Not only to have things done before the baby comes but to just have a sense of normalcy back into our lives. We have been living in such chaos I am ready to just have things in some kind of routine.

Weekend #1 of Ryan's getaway is over. I am so happy to have that man back home. I need him. I think it was a nice break for him to just be away from me and it was nice for me to get stuff done that I don't get done when he is home because I just want to be with him. I might have cried myself to sleep a few nights because I hate not having him here but I survived. Harley was a wonderful support, she never left my side and would snuggle up to me when I would cry.
Ryan will be gone again this coming weekend but I will be as well. Keeping busy. My last little getaway before baby arrives. We are both working a ton which again means we don't see each other much. but I am happy to be nearing the end of this chaos and entering into the new, much awaited, desperately wanting chaos of parenthood. I sure love my husband and we have been through so much in our almost 6 years of marriage. He has been my very best friend and I can honestly say I still wouldn't want anything more than to just be with him for the rest of my life. There were times we wondered if kids were meant to be apart of our lives. We thought about just living a life that made us as happy as possible and that we would one day be with Makenzie again. It didn't last to long. For us, we both want to be parents. Our greatest happiness came from Makenzie. We want to have the life that we dreamed and that we always imagined we would have. It may not be exactly like we pictured. Makenzie will always be gone. but we will do our best to live the happiest life full of love. We cant wait to have a son. 
Sure life just the 2 of us is fun but life with a family is like nothing like you can imagine. We got a small taste of that for 5 months. It was not long enough. I wish it had never ended. but I am thankful that through that, we have learned to appreciate, love and never take for granted what we once had and lost. TKW is going to be loved in a completely different way than Makenzie was. and he has his sister to thank for that. She showed us what life is about. I know we will still have our issues but I cant wait to have all of those trials together.
Less than 5 weeks to go.
I cant wait to meet my baby.


Auntie EM said...

You say very true words...I remember thinking those same thoughts when Uncle Rich and I could not have children the normal way. Seven years was a long, long time to wait. The first time I saw my son, I thought I had won the best lottery in town. 29 years later I still feel so lucky. I'm glad too that it wasn't just me and Rich cuz now I would be so very lonely. But with my kids and their cute little boy (my Braxton) I have found that there is so much more life to live and I have to be happy enough for both Rich and me. I love babies and little kids so being a grandma is the best!! T will bring you great joy but we will all rejoice that you and ryan are adding another to our family and your family. I'm sure Kenzie is holding T's hand and telling him how wonderful his parents are and how lucky he is to be coming to such a great couple who will love him forever. Love you Auntie Mary

Jill said...

Sounds like you might be having issues with your sciatic (sp?) nerve. As your baby grows, it can put pressure on that nerve and cause sharp pains and cramps like you described. When mine flared up and hurt, I would use a heat pack, and that would make it feel better for a couple days.
Good luck! These last weeks are hard on your body!


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