Wednesday, June 30, 2010

5 questions

sooo... a few weeks back a friend of mine introduced me to this fun new blog.
i love getting to know new people so this was right up my alley.
a whole blog introducing you to fellow bloggers!

so you write into this sweet girl who sends you back questions to answer.
you tell the truth and no one gets hurt.
then she spotlights you for a whole day!
and guess what today is...
my day!
yes, its my day to be spotlighted.
i answered the questions to the best of my knowledge.
you should go check it out.
submit yourself.
that way- i can get to know all of you better to.

ps. i really like emails and i love my new friends i have made through this blog- if you are an unknown blog stalker but want to chat. email me. im pretty friendly and ill write you back.
--hope everyone has a great day--

PSS... Check out our MRW blog for updates and prices for the event!
17 days people!!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I know I have my other blog to keep everyone up to date on all the events/news/updates to our MRW Projects BUT this is such amazing news- I had to write it on both blogs!
I just got the last of the leggings I have counted and packed up ready to ship to get embroidered and guess how many pairs are being sent?!!!
200 - - - to low
300 - - - STILL to low
400 - - - STILLLL to low

are you freaking kidding me?
Its only June and we are 6 pairs away from our SECOND goal!
I cant wait to see how many more start coming through.
Thank You Thank You Thank You
to everyone who donated. I cant express the joy I fell when I come home and see a little package sitting on my doorstep!  It means so much to know we are all making a difference. There will be some well dressed sock wearing kiddos.  These little kids deserve a little something to brighten their day, keep their legs or arms warm and know they are loved and many many people are thinking and praying for them.
Thank You x a million!
I wish I could give you all a HUGE hug.

Now- Keep em' coming :)
lets just blow our goal out of the water. lets load up several boxes. lets give this children's hospital something to go crazy about. cant wait to see how many more come in!

HEY- did you know there is only 20 more days until our event?!
check out for updates and more info!

Deer Creek

I love boating.
I love camping. so. I couldn't wait for this weekend.
We went to Deer Creek.
Since we pass through Heber on our way Ry and I decided to stop and take some balloons to my sister.
We sat for over an hour.
Talked to her, Talked to Kenzie.
Asked her to take good care of our baby until we could be with her again.
* I wore my chucks- they were very fitting since that's pretty much all she wore*
Then we sent her and Kenzie balloons.

Once we got to camp we started cooking up this little turkey.
stayed up late, ate yummy food, sat by the fire then went to bed.
The next morning,
we got on the lake
-with chocolaty, melty treats-
We were out in the sun, getting burned, swimming, jumping in the water and hiking around camp all day long. Until we got to cold and tired and hungry and ready to sit and relax.
had another awesome dinner, warm fire, cobbler for dessert but this night we went to bed a bit earlier.
mainly because the sun took everything out of us.
between a sad little boy and freezing temps no one really slept.
cant wait to go out again.

Friday, June 25, 2010

11 months

11 months!
Holy Moly Poly.
Where has the time gone?
Oh Kenz again I am late on your bday letter.
I'm not so good at keeping up with that- but know, on that day, all day- I was only thinking about you.
I cant believe you would be almost 1.
Your party would have been planned, your friends would be invited, your cake would have been designed, your presents would have been bought, your outfit would have been ordered.
What a party it would have been.
Fairy Themed.
We would have had the colors bright pink, bright green and peach.
You would have had a cake that was all those colors with polka dots.
I picked out the outfit you would wear about a month after I found out I was having a girl.
*yes I planned it that far in advance, but didn't order it, just bookmarked it*
Its pretty perfect. See HERE..
Big, Over the Top, Loud- of course, a must!
It would have been at a park.
Some of the fun would have been-
:marshmello pops:
:pin the wings on the fairy:
:fairy treat bags:
:bubble making machine:
:homemade fairy wands:
:glitter- tons and tons of glitter:
:twinkle Christmas lights everywhere:
:fairy dust:

You would have had an amazing time. 
I wish you were crawling around our house getting into everything!
I wish I would have needed to use those plug protectors I bought.
I wish you would be eating us out of house and home
because your super picky and will only eat the expensive stuff!

Life was amazing with you.
It felt like a whole lifetime. I guess it was. It was your whole life time.
It just felt like it was longer than 4 months.
It felt like it was my whole life.
I cant think of life before and its hard for me to live life after.
You were the start and you are the end.

I'm trying. everyday. to be better.
I'm living for you.
to make sure everyone knows your name.
to help find a cure for your disease so no one else has to go through this.
so other babies will see their 1st birthday.
i hope you will be proud.
and when i see you again, in a billion years, don't you ever let me go.
hold me tight-ill squeeze you for years.
get your wiggles, dances and play time out because your all mine when i see you again.
oh how i love you.
with every fiber of my being.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Fathers Day

"Dear Daddy"

Dear Daddy,
I know today is Father's Day
And you miss me really bad,
But if you could see what I see,
You wouldn't be so dad.

I have all kinds of playmates
And playgrounds everywhere!
With swings and slides and
Balloon rides that whiz right
Through the air!

We have ice cream, cake and candy,
Milk, cookies and punch;
We never have to go to bed,
And we choose what we want for lunch.

There's even a river where you and I could fish,
The water's as clear as a day in spring,
And beautiful rainbows and fluffy white clouds
From which I can see everything!

So you see, daddy,
Even though I'm not with you,
I'm under my Father's care,
And when it's time for you to come,
You'll find me waiting right here!

And I'll give you the biggest hug -
Gee, I can hardly wait.
And when no one's looking,
We'll even swing on Heaven's Gate!

I love you daddy. Happy Father's Day!
Oh how Fathers Day has changed over the years.
When I was younger I would get up in church and sing in front of everyone some song about wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a kiss.  Then life stepped in- He was gone. Not because some tragedy happened but because he made horrible decisions in life and in turn had to pay the consequences.  Fathers Day then became a day I didn't like. It was a day I realized what I lost and what was missing. 
Then life stepped in- I married an amazing man, and he was lucky enough to have one heck of a father who lucky for me- became my Dad to. Fathers Day then became a day I celebrated one heck of a guy who amazes me every time we are together. Someone who I love with all my heart, someone I look up to, someone I adore.
Then life stepped in- A month away from the next chapter in our life. June 2009- a day to celebrate what was about to happen. A gift, exciting anticipation, a day spent pretty much in her room dreaming about what next year would be. Joy, Excitement, Anticipation, Love..
Then life stepped in- How do you celebrate this day June 2010? A day that should so much be celebrated. A day that should be so full of Love. The days leading up were not easy. I could see it in his face. I could tell when he would talk about this weekend. He knew what this weekend was and who was missing. I had ideas of what to do. I planned a day full of what I thought he would love.
but again- life stepped in-
i got sick.
not just feeling off sick but feeling horrible, couldn't get up sick.
happy fathers day- was spent calming his wife because she was hallucinating. Yes I was hallucinating. I took some cold medicine and it apparently didn't mix well in my body and I thought I was a strawberry swinging on a vine. happy fathers day was keeping his wife from falling over because she couldn't even stand up, it was fixing all the meals, cleaning up the dishes, being the one who cared for someone instead of being pampered himself. it meant going to see his family alone. it meant not having breakfast in bed, not going out to do things for him, not holding him instead he had to hold me... once again... the day ended with both of us crying ourselves to sleep. him because it was a hard day and he didn't get a break, me because i was sick but mainly because i ruined his day. 
so- he will get another day. this week. i will make him breakfast, take him on that adventure he would love and let him fall into me for once. we will talk to our baby. he will see how much she loves him. ill make sure of it. he is so amazing. he is a dad. forever and for always. she is his baby.

how in the world could she ask for a better daddy?  love is such an insufficient word for what he feels for her. everyday, every moment, every breath is for her. oh how amazing he is.
thank you for giving her to me ry, thank you for being her dad- her biggest fan- her voice. when i couldn't make those decisions you saw what she needed, wanted, already decided and you made it happen. thank you for being strong. thank you for standing up for her. she is soo you. beyond love is what i feel for you.
I'm sorry she isn't here. I'm sorry you didn't get to wake up with breakfast in bed and a 11 month old crawling all over you. I'm sorry you cant have your baby sing songs and wrap her arms around you.

i couldn't have asked you to be better. you are the best. you have taught me what a dad is, what love is and i couldn't imagine anyone else but you to be our makenzies daddy. 
she loves you ryan. more than you will ever know. you gave her a sense of security and comfort that no one else could give her. you brightened her eyes. you gave her that smile. she knew she was safe with you. she didn't mind that you were a little bit hairier than other dads, she didn't mind that you were quite a bit smellier, or that you watched way to much hunting on tv or that you have a funny lazy eye or that you would rather wear wranglers and cowboy boots, or that you eat PB&J with cheese, or that you're dirty, or that you make funny noises in public. she wasn't ever embarrassed, or grossed out, or annoyed (i have a lot to learn from her) she loved all those things about you. she accepted all those little "quirks" she even mimicked a couple herself!  ryan you are an amazing dad. you love that little girl with a love i don't understand. a love i couldn't and wouldn't compete with. she is yours. forever. know she goes to work with you everyday. she sits in the back seat on your way home and wishes you would play chicken fried over and over like you used to do. she watches you sleep, she holds you when your having those moments, she kisses your checks, she smiles at you all day. you are hers to. 
we love you ry.
you are an amazing daddy and don't you ever ever forget that.
we sure love you.
**we did wake up on sunday to find makenzie left a little surprise for her daddy. she wrote an amazing little note that told her daddy exactly how she felt about him and she also left a sweet willow tree statue for him.

our little buddies

Spent some quality time with these kidos a week ago.
they are pretty cute and pretty fun.
painted our nails *well the girls did*
paid him to clean up doggie poo! ha... $5 isn't bad.
played the wii
played with dolls
had a few melt downs
made yummy treats
swam in the bath tub because the rain wouldn't stop
bought new sandals
curled our hair
bought that little boy a birthday present
he turned the big #7
ahh i cant believe it!
love these 2 oh so very much.

one boy-one girl

so we still have 2 dogs.
milo benjamin derek and harley jill michelle.
i love them
well- maybe one more than the other.
but that will probably change once the black one learns to pee and poop outside
instead of on the work clothes that i layed out to wear for the day.
they are both cute
they both have lots of energy
they both eat A LOT
they are both growing
but-- one is growing quite a bit faster than the other.
they are 3 years apart in age.
one is black
one is yellowish
we like to sing the song
ebony and ivory when they are playing together.
it makes us laugh.
one likes to run away whenever she gets a chance
the other is really good and stays close by.
one is really clumsy and trips over his own feet.
one understands no and get down the other... not so much
one knows to stay out of a certain room in the house,
the other thinks its a play room and will do anything to get in.
one knows what the word makenzie means and gets really sad when we say it
the other looks at us like we are crazy and runs around in circles
one girl loves the outdoors
the other boy isn't quite sure of it yet.
both bark to much
they both fart all day long.
they both drink from the toilet then try to give us kisses.
they both like their pool.
they both like peanut butter.
they both like to wrestle with each other.
one is a sweet cuddly girl
the other is all boy and wants nothing to do with his mom.

sooo we got new carpet-
mainly because that all boy made the house smell a horrible smell of
**well you can guess**
we did it now because we got a pretty good deal and because that boy was getting pretty good at not going potty in the house. well since we got the brand spankin new carpet- he decided he needed to mark his territory all over- high and low- throughout the house once again.
thanks milo.

Kenzie Day #6

Kenzie Day #6 = Underwater Party!
June 13 2010
so this months Kenzie Day didn't start off so smooth.
we were suppose to go swimming but the weather was cold and raining. so we found an indoor swimming place but found out the day of that they were closed due to weather?!
so last minute change of plans became a water themed party at our club house.
we blew up blue balloons, watched finding nemo on beach towels, had a fishing pond, beach balls, lays, mermaid floats and a bbq.
although it didn't run as smooth as i would have liked at the beginning we still had a great time.
my sweet aunt, cousins and gma surprised me and came!
after all the underwater fun we sent off our balloon presents to Kenzie so she could join in on the fun.
on this day- the clouds parted, the wind stopped and for a few moments everything was peace so those balloons could float up nicely to makenzie and she could catch every last one of those balloons. 
every time i let balloons go i always think about her catching them but this time,
i just stood there a little longer, watched them float away and talked to her.
i told her how much i miss her and how i wish she could have been here.
i told her that I'm so happy she is mine and that i will send her balloons for the rest of my life.
6 Kenzie Days down. A million more to go.
Missing you everyday Kenzie.
Everyone is!


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