Saturday, November 12, 2011


Its true I rarely acknowledge the comments left on my blog.
Its not that I don't read them because I actually do several times a day.  
Ryan and I read them together just about every night and we print them off with our blog books.
They are very very important to us and really mean the world.
The amount of love and support we have seen from people who have never met us is so overwhelmingly wonderful.  It makes me want to be better.  It makes me want to grow and learn. You all help me.
I love your advice.
I love your well wishes.
I love your prayers.
We feel so blessed. 

SO for today... I just want to give every single one of YOU a huge--- giant--- out of this world
I am so THANKFUL for what this blog has given me and that is an endless number of people who love and support us and our Makenzie.  It has given me a chance to show you who Makenzie is.  To show  you what she did in her little life and the amazing change she was.
I find myself praying for so many if not all of you individually.  Thanking GOD for putting you in my life and hoping you are blessed.

A comment that was left as well as a few emails I have recently received has made it clear that some of you have some questions for me that you might want to ask... I am not so good at responding to emails which is where I get a lot of questions. I promise I read every single one them but for some reason the moment I go to respond, something comes up that needs my immediate attention. So I want to offer an official apology. I really am sorry and wish I was better at that.
So I thought I would take some good advice and I will make up for it with a Q&A post to really get some of your questions answered.  
If you have any questions for me just leave a comment asking it.  For the most part I will answer just about anything.  Ill answer them all on Monday November 14th so ask away!


Anonymous said...

I've always wondered how you get so much time with "mini"? Where are her parents and are you the full-time nanny? She is lucky to have an aunt like you!

Anonymous said...

Are you and your husband LDS?

Anonymous said...

I hope this is not to personal, but you are a pretty open girl so I am not too concerned I will offend you! :) Have you and your husband taken measures to be SURE you will not get pregnant with his sperm again? What would happen if you conceive by accident?
Also, would you consider an egg donor and your husbands sperm, or is this much more complicated and expensive?

Sarah said...

No questions for you here, yet. :)I've been reading your blog for months now and for some reason I've never left a comment and this post helped me make the decision to finally leave one! Not sure how I came across your page but I'm so glad I put everything in my life (and I'm sure many others) into perspective and make me remember all the good and how blessed I am. Even though I've never left advice, well wishes or prayers on here know that they are coming your way everytime I stop by and read your thoughts! Thanks for being so strong and letting us all in on your and Ryan's life! You're such special people! :)

Grandma Honey said...

Thank you for writing what you did today...because when I leave a comment and never get a response I think the person does not want any I'm glad you cleared that up. I've been reading your blog for some time. You are such an inspiration. I love your honesty and determination. What a wonderful day it will be when you have Makenzie's sister or brother. With your determination, that day will surely come. No doubt.

The Mac's House said...

I am thankful for your blog, even though I don't comment all the time. I try to keep up as much as possible.

I am very thankful for your insight on love, life and loss. The recent post on not fearing death brought a perspective so personal as to all you have gone thru that it was such a blessing to read.

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I remember you mentioning, or hinting at, during your childhood you were in the system at some point? Is this correct or did I misread something?

If this is too personal, I totally understand! But for some reason, I had this thought that you grew up with several siblings and then didn't have parents or were taken away from them, and then I was confused when you spoke of your mother more recently!

I love your blog. LONG time reader, Longer time Pray-er! :-) I appreciate you taking the time to do a Q&A... it makes us not feel so intrusive when the blog owners take a little time out once in a while to sort of "dialogue" with their readers!

Kim Sheely said...

The more I read your blog, the more I feel I get to know you and your husband. I have to say, I think he may be my hubby's long lost twin. The hunting, the camping, all things out doorswy, his sense of humor and I as I call them "antics" are very similar to the wanna be mountain man I live with. I can totally appreciate what you go through, and like you, he is the center of my world. It warms my heart to read how the two of you have grown together instead of apart during your struggles. Thanks for being you and for sharing your hubby with us too!

Anonymous said...

First of all I would like to say that I think that you are amazing. You are honest, and a perfect example of a mother's love.
You are also so caring, brave and unselfish to open yourself up to questions from strangers or others who read your blog. It is inspiring to see/ read about someone that is so genuine.
My question is about SMARD. I am wondering if your miscarriage was a result of the disease or was it just like many miscarriages -- unknown cause?
I pray and hope that you will get pregnant and have a beautiful baby soon. The world needs more mothers like you in this world.

Robin said...

This is your blog, and yes, people may have questions, but I think/hope people understand some questions are not going to be answered. Your blog is wonderful, and I for one, will enjoy it even if you never answer one single question, or comment. You need not apologize. :) Praying for you and Ryan always!

Anonymous said...

Kendra, you are such a doll. So sweet and open and fiercely loving. I have really been blessed by reading your blog and most of all I have loved getting to know and love your sweet baby girl. You had inspired me as a Mommy!!!
I have one question I've wondered for a long time... Do you have a particular faith or church you belong to?
Oh I guess one more- do you have siblings? Thanks for being so open... I have to say I don't think I'd quite want to answer ALL the questions people emailed me because sometimes its just too personal and irrelevant. Much love and hugs!

Anonymous said...

I just recently stumbled across your blog and have only been reading for a little while, but I wanted to tell you that I have been blown away by your bravery and honesty. Although you didn't choose to deal with such a staggering loss, you have chosen to survive it in a very graceful and admirable way. So thank you for putting your journey out there -- I know it's probably more for healing purposes than for your readers, but I find it very inspiring.
My question is a maybe-too-personal one, so please feel free to ignore it. I am wondering how you came to decide on the way in which you will be continuing your family? I ask because I have been through the whole IVF thing, and I was wondering if it was more a philosophical or a practical decision to avoid IVF/PGD? I had different issues but similar options, and went a different way, so I was just curious how you came to a decision on that.

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog for almost two years now, but never left a comment. This post has finally made me get the courage to write you. I came across your blog in the beggining of January 2010, just a few weeks after you lost your sweet Makenzie. I have shed many tears and prayed much for you and your family. My second child was born July 19th 2009, just one day younger than Kenzie. He was a hard baby and I struggled many days and nights with him. Your blog made me remember how lucky and blessed I am to have that "difficult" baby still with me, and to be grateful for everyday I spend with him. On the posts you write wonering what would Kenzie be doing around now, I look at my little Drew (who no longer is a difficult baby, but a very fun active toddler)and consider writing you what you should be seeing her do. Thanks for writing this blog and for your honesty. You have inspired and lifted many moms out there during their dark hours!!!

Tracy said...

Hey Kendra, as always, love your blog! You and I have been in contact through email before, but it's been a while. I just have a similar question as the comment above about forgoing the whole ivf-pgd thing, as we went the ivf route, for different reasons of course. Either way, I hope and pray for you and your hubby that you'll be blessed again soon with another precious baby, no matter how he,or she gets here! You two are both amazing! I also have to say, I swear our hubbies could be long lost twins, lol. Seriously way too much in common those two.

Kennedy Klan said...

Hi Kendra, I come across you blog from reading Ashley Sulengers Blog. I want to tell you I have shed many tears from the both of you! You both are amazing ladies I just want to be your friend!! I love people like you that can be real and be yourself. I live in So. Utah and have 5 little kids, and after reading your blogs I appreciate each and every day I spend with them. So thank you so very much for teaching me to be the best mom I can be! My question for you is, I have a friend a really good friend that lost her little girl 6 years ago. She was handicapped and died after a surgery at her home in her moms arms. Anyway, my question is how can I still let my friend know I am always thinking about her and her loss? Or do I?? I am not sure if I should bring up this sensitive subject with her just to let her know I am hear for her?? Because in September (the month she passed) is my friends hardest month she struggles every year. Help please

Ryan.Kendra.Makenzie.Tracker said...

Thank You all SOOO much for your questions/comments. Im starting to get them all answered but if you have anymore feel free to ask away. So far I want to thank you who have asked questions. I know there are things I wonder about other bloggers I read so I hope to answer any you have.
AND about all the Ryan twins out there. Can I just say if your husband is anything like Ryan--- Im sorry :)
okay okay just kidding. He really is the most lovable man alive but some of those things that make him who he is can be hard at times. Im sure we can tell stories for years about these boys. But I guess we all can relate to that one right!

Kim Sheely said...

I do have a question, do you facebook? I would love to follow you there too. :)

Anonymous said...

All I want to know is if you will do Q&A's once in a while? Not so much making a post to specifically ask for questions, but once in a while going through recent comments and doing a post?

Thanks for doing this!! It really does help to have a dialogue with someone who's life you peer so personally into on an almost daily basis!

Oh I do have another question...

Do you think you'll do Kenzie days for ever or did you plan to stop at a certain point? I think you do them every month on/around the day of her birth, no? Does your extended family always participate? Do you ever feel like anyone doesn't want to?

Lastly: does the balloon shop have a special discount card for you guys since you're there so much!! I'm certain you could buy stock in ballooons and keep the stock high yourself! I love it and I know MRW does too! :-)


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