Sunday, July 29, 2012

33 Weeks

How far along? 33 weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes
Best moment this week: Hearing that this little man is doing great at the doc. appointment.
Not so good moment of the week: This was our off week so I didn't get to see Ryan a whole lot. I miss him.
Miss Anything? Getting everyday stuff done around the house without getting extremely exhausted so easily.
Movement: He is moving like crazy and I LOVE IT. Its so much fun. I wish I could have felt all these types of movements the whole time. Feeling a little elbow or knee or fist or toe is incredible. I remember enjoying this with Makenzie but also getting a little annoyed only because she was all up in my ribs and it hurt. Plus I was so done with pregnancy that I just was ready for her to come and I forgot to just sit back and enjoy this time. I am always anxious for TK to move. If he doesn't move for a bit I get really nervous and poke at him until he does.
Food Cravings: Not really craving anything but just not feeling up for much of anything. I love my milk though.
Anything making you queasy or sick: So I have been getting sick again if I don't eat soon enough. If I wait to long in the morning or for dinner I start to eat and get so nauseous and cant finish.
Gender: Boy
Symptoms: Back has been hurting this week, a little trouble sleeping... but this week my feet have started aching. That has never been an issue so it surprised me when I sat down the other day and felt like they might fall off because they hurt so much.
Emotions: Been pretty good emotionally this week. esp since this is our off week and I haven't been around Ryan much. That's a huge improvement. Those are usually my worst weeks. I have been super busy as well and gone pretty much all evening so that has kept my mind busy. I think I am now starting to just get very anxious and wanting the rest of this pregnancy to go quick only because I cant wait to hold my son. I am trying to push that aside as best as possible because I really just want to soak up this pregnancy because it will be over in such a short amount of time.
Looking forward to: My baby shower Saturday! I cant wait. So excited to see family and friends!

I have a list about a mile long of things I want to get done before this little boy comes. I know most things on that list really don't NEED to be done but I think when you have something so big and life changing come into your life- you tend to use that as an excuse to get as much as possible done. I already know there is going to be a lot of things on that list that don't get done but I am doing my best :)
This weekend I spent a good amount of time working on our blog book. The thing I love about this blog is that we can print it off. Its a piece of our life. Its my journal. Just in the last year have I written anywhere but here on this blog and even in that separate journal, I don't write that much because I update this as much as possible. What I usually put in that separate journal is things that really don't need to be shared with the world but are still important to me personally. anyway- so I'm working on my blog book. I am very behind. I first said my goal was to get 2010 and 2011 done before TK comes but now my goal is to just get 2010 done and get 2011 done by the end of the year. Its sometimes nice and sometimes very hard to go over all of these posts. 2010 was that first year after Makenzie passed. Reading those feelings. Reading how hard life was at the time. I am amazed that we are still here. I am amazed that we are going on year 3 and we are getting ready to welcome Makenzies little brother. It makes me realize how much can change in time and it still breaks my heart to see how horrible that time was for both Ryan and I. I am so glad I wrote so many of my feelings down. I'm so glad I didn't sugar coat my feelings. I think I could have been a bit more raw but I was also trying to balance this guilt of feeling like I should still be happy and shouldn't be sad all the time. Someday ill write a letter to myself then. Telling that girl everything I have learned to this point. I think that's kind of therapeutic. To show yourself how far you have come and that you are growing. I cant believe we have less than 50 days until this little boy will make his arrival and I cant believe its been almost 32 months since I last held my little girl.
Life is crazy.

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

I am so excited for you!! Let the countdown begin!!!


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