Monday, October 26, 2009

i have gone crazzzy

***Psychotic Mood Shift
**Pissy Mood Syndrome
*Pass My Sweatpants
its not easy being a girl. you are pregnant for 10 months, you give birth, you raise your children + your husband, you cook, clean, put out fires, save the world and the worst of it all - PMS!
Good-ol miss PMS has welcomed herself to our home.
For me- this is not just regular old PMS. Its- I have a million things on my mind, my house is a mess, my baby is constipated, my back hurts so I use icy hot patches only to realize the stank wont come off me so I walk around smelling like a giant tub of menthol, bad hair day, hubby making to much noise therefor waking up my incredibly sleepy baby that just took a few hours to get to go to sleep, laundry all over the house, dog throwing up - kind of MORNING!
This PMS doesn't seem like its once a month lately- Its seems like its come, made a nice home in the Webster house and is staying for a while. Just when I reason with myself and say I need to change my attitude and be nicer to my poor husband-
he does something that is obviously not a big deal but it sets me over the edge AGAIN.
What is my problem!?!
I feel like I'm stuck in a hole and I'm struggling to get out.
Bottles need to be cleaned a certain way, don't flush the toilet (unless its #2) because I just put the baby down and for some reason today- every little noise wakes her up and she wont go back to bed, don't let the dog on the furniture, clean the shed out and just throw everything away, hang these lights that I have been asking you to hang for a month now, don't put the whites in with the jeans, can you pick up your hunting stuff that has been sitting in the middle of the floor for over a week now, don't get upset because I'm crying again, don't hug me right now, please just give me a hug, your coughing just woke up the baby again.
Am I seriously crazy or what?! Such petty little nonsense things and I'm going nuts running around my house like a mental patient. My poor family.
Has this ever happened to you?
I promise I don't remember being so crazy before little Makenzie came along. I know I had my moments but it came and went in a day. Is it because I now have another little person to tend for? Is it because we are both tired and don't want to clean up another mess yet we cant have a baby living in a pigsty so we cant put it off like we used to?
I don't know what my problem is.
I am over the moon in love with my family and I see how blessed I am.
Those few issues are sooo tiny- I shouldn't even mention them because its really not "issues" its life. That's what everyone has to deal with on a daily basis so why am I acting so nutty about it?


Robin said...

Morning K, I read your blog it seems like you are having a hard time. I know the feeling. Do you need some help? I would be more than happy to come over and play with baby or help you clean so that you can get things caught up.I am not even joking. I know that you would do the same for me. Let me know... I don't work Friday and if you want I can come over. said...

Oby just said to me last week that he wishes I acted how I used to act. He means before I became a mom. Being a mom changes EVERYTHING! You are not alone in these issues. Just give it time (and maybe some anti-depressants like me)....


Rachel said...

Oh hun. I know exactly what this is like. I had a little one almost two years ago and am still feeling the effects. Being a mother is BY FAR the hardest job I have ever had and it can be so isolating. You end up grumpy, but then feel guiltly because this was supposed to be what you wanted all along.

I can tell you that it gets better. There are good days and there are days you want to crawl in your closet and cry. However, the older my guy gets the more "me" time I can have.

Maybe that's what you need. A night out with girl friends. It might make all the difference.

C said...

Dear sweet Kendra, first off, take a deep breath. I think that it does happen to everyone -- well, at least it still does to me. I think the biggest problem with a new little one is that no one is getting enough sleep. I think you can let some of the stuff slide (like the house) and make sure the big things are taken care of (baby fed, baby changed, baby sleeping) don't fret over making dinner -- Campbell's or Progresso makes great soup. Let others help where they can and try to enjoy the ride. I know sometimes it is hard to accept help, ask for help, or even think you might need some help but it really is okay because all the people who are close to you really do love you and understand. I wish I were closer to help -- my prayers are with you and little family.


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