Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day

July 18 2009
my first moments as a mommy
lucky for me, it was to an incredible little girl named Makenzie Rye.

There is so much in the name MOM.
so many titles, duties, roles, responsibilities....
being a mom
has highs and lows
big moments and little moments
nap times and bed times
snacks and messes
bath routines
story time
worries and fears
laughs and smiles
dreams and wishes
choices and mistakes

hugs and kisses
tears and snotty noses
blow outs and clean up
laundry and laundry
milestones and moments
minutes and seconds
holding and snuggles
spit up and farts
cartoons and music
blocks and dolls
planning and delays
happiness and joy
proud and honored
warm and fuzzy
the littlest moments mean the most

Well Ms. Thang- Makenzie Rye.
 Another year. Another day. You there, me here. I still have those days and today was one of them. Not being with you has been weighting. I am wanting. Wanting you more than everything else in the world. More than any-thing I could imagine.

Oh how big you would be. How much you would have grown. The attitude and personality you would have developed. I can just see it now. My little spunky girl. 
Oh lovie. I am so thankful for you. I am so very honored I can call myself a Mother because of your beautiful life. You have blessed me in more ways than I think you planned. 
Happy Happy YOU Day!
Today is simply MY day because of YOU. I wouldn't be who I am without you. 
I wouldn't be a Mother without you as my daughter. 
You are my first and the only one who can call me Mom. 
You are my dream. You are my wish. and you came True.
Thank you for your eyes, your smile, your kisses, your heart, your fingers and toes, your hair and your nose. Thank you for every breath you took and I thank you for every second of your life you blessed me with. I love you to the moon. I love you with everything I am.
You are the reason I keep going, To be with you again. 
For that first Mothers Day I will get to spend with you. I cant wait. 
Love Momi

My day didn't feel like a mothers day. I wish I would have taken more advantage and did something.
Breakfast = left over burrito that tasted like, blah...
Felt horrible and was just sad so went back to bed. Slept.
Ryan finally got me up at 4pm. Wasted the day away.
Went to dinner with Ryans mum. Dessert with my Mum. 
We tried to spend as much time with those amazing ladies as possible which left our visits going past 9pm. Still didn't get to see Kenzie. Needed to go there. I had flowers for her.
Ryan drove there in pouring rain. 
To make us feel better I just blamed the rain on the fact that she must be having a bubble bath and splashing way to much :)
It was pitch black and we were soaked. 

But I gave her kisses. 
I told her my I love You's. 
I dropped off her Sonic drink and I stood there sipping mine knowing she would enjoy hers as soon as I left. I'm thankful for her. For every second she gave me then and for every lesson she is teaching me now.

Cant end our Mother Day without telling our Mothers how much they are loved. We are blessed beyond measures to have them in our life. They are the reason we are here. They are the reason we had our Makenzie. They love us, support us and give so much to us. 
We love you to bits and pieces.

I have to send a very very very special Happy Mothers Day to all my mommy friends who are in the same missing boat as me. All those amazing Mothers who don't have their lovies with them. I am praying for you all. To have them hold you tonight. This road is long, to hard and so not fair. What amazing women there are. Those I know especially are just so incredible. I'm thankful for your guidance. You are my rock and you help me and inspire me more than any of you could ever imagine.
Thank You.

Happy Mothers Day.


Alerie said...

This was so beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time. I thought of you often today. I even pulled out my phone to let you know I was thinking of you and to wish you a Happy Mother's Day until I came to realization I didn't have your phone number. ha ha!! I think I just feel like I know you and you have been become such a part of my daily thoughts that you are like a friend I have known forever and that I should have your number. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to one of the best mommy's out there. You are an amazing example!! Much love!!

Emma said...

What a tribute to being a Mom, to your sweet little girl who made you the woman and mom you are! I am sorry days that should be for celebrating are so hard, I wish there was a way to ease that pain....if only. I hope you felt all 'our' love and prayers, and especially Kenzie showering you with love (looks like literally!).

Kristen said...

Beautiful post Kendra! Happy Mother's Day! I hope that you could feel the love showering down on you from Heaven.

brigette said...

You are one of the best mommies I know!! I relate so much to how you felt yesterday im sorry you have to know this pain! You are so giving, loving and kind. I know Kenzie is proud to call you her mommie!! You sure are an example to me as well. I love you Kendra!!

Anonymous said...

I bought a "Happy Mother's Day" balloon especially to send it to Kenzie. Hope you don't mind.
Lisa F

Lindsey said...

I just came across your story through the Sullengers blog. It's Mother's like you that HUMBLE me. You're daughter is so beautiful and I'm so sorry for all that you have experienced. Although she was only with you on this mortal journey for 5 short months, she is forever yours in the eternities to come. Thank you for sharing your story with such raw emotion, it has touched my heart. Sending prayers of comfort your way.

Alissa said...

Oh, wow...what a beautiful post. My heart just breaks for you. And the words that express what you feel for your daughter couldn't be more true or real. Thank you for expressing them the way you do. Sending belated Mother's Day wishes to you and sending hugs up to your little Kenzie. <3

Ashley said...

She really is beautiful!! I loved this post.


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