Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Can you find that cute little girl in the middle of all those toys?

I promise she is there!

There she is!

okay- that was cheesy...
I was looking through her pictures like I do everyday.
Today I have been thinking about her A Lot.
...A - LOT...
but today I felt like I was going to write about her.
happy memories
This girl is so loved!
She is surrounded by gifts people gave her while she was in the hospital.
Everyone wanted to cheer her up- Give her some comfort.
They did!
She loved her toys
She would stare at them for hours.
To be honest- She did have a few favorites
(sorry if its not the toy you gave her, she still loved yours though)
#1 favorite:
* Her Harley Dog! Given to her by the Davisons. I really think she found comfort in that thing. She could just watch it. We would tell her- "look kenzie your puppy is here" she would perk up and you could tell she was excited to see that dog. We left her harley dog in her casket- We wanted her to feel protected always.
#2 favorite:
* multi colored sock monkey. Grandma Becky gave this to her. I always wanted to get her a sock monkey but they are so dang expensive I couldn't see buying one- so Grandma did :)
This thing has magnets on its hands and feet so we would wrap it around the bars of her crib. She loves bright colors so this was another toy she loved to stare at.
#3 favorite:
* dumb music bear. Thanks Grandma Diane! This was a super cute bear but the tune was annoying and its cheeks lite up and blinked. It really freaked me out, but not Kenzie. She liked the tune and was mesmerized by the blinking cheeks.
We didn't have all the toys she got in these pictures but most of them.
She also got a visit from the JAZZ and got her first basketball (signed)
She got lots of rattles, mirrors and books.
We are so blessed to have such amazing family and friends who love our Makenzie so much and who wanted to see her happy just as much as we did.
I have been day dreaming about her so much.
I keep imagining how she felt in my arms. I keep imagining the time I had with her while I was home, before I went back to work. I imagine her lips, her cry,
her noises and even her little (non) butt.
** sorry baby, we have officially realized you have Moms butt- or lack of **
I cant believe how much I miss her.
I love my baby- I love my family- I love my friends- I love all of you.
After losing so much, how can I love so much?
My love has grown- Its real love.
Love for everyone who writes me, calls me, visits me, talks to me.
I can never thank you all enough. For your love!
* there are a few of you that I want to write back, I haven't been able to link to your blog or you don't have a blog, if you are one of these people and comment- maybe email me. I want to write you personally. *
dont make fun of my email! Im just cool like that!


Jenni said...

It's awesome you've taken all these pictures! These are so cute with all her cute animals!!! I just sent you an email (now you can know who it's from for sure.:))

The Call's said...

Those pictures are darling with her and all her toys. What an amazing little girl. Thoughts and prayers your way as always..


AJ and Cindy said...

Such adorable pictures of her with all her stuffed animals! She is such a loved little girl, she is so lucky she has you as her mommy :)

Candace said...

Hi, You don't know me but a friend showed me your blog and I have been following it ever since. Your baby is absolutely gorgeous and I admire how strong you are to go through all of this. She really is so lucky to have an amazing mom like you..

Leslie Jean said...

wow. I just came across your blog but my prayers are immediately for you and ryan and your perfect angel kenz. please keep writing. thank you for your honesty and openness. thank you for sharing your story. thank you for your strength and faith. thank you thank you thank you and may God send every tender mercy you ever needed

Tara Bennett said...

These pictures are so sweet. I love her beautiful face just enjoying all the bright treasures around her, but she's the bright treasure right in the middle. What a special girl. You and Kenzie have taught me so much and I love you for it. xo

Esther said...

Those are adorable! It's so cute how you know which are her favorites, this little girl is one of the most loved little girls ever!

Emma said...

Your little Kenzie is just the most precious! I love those pics and love thinking of her with her toys. I think the reason you can feel love through the pain is because it is something so, so strong that she taught you. Our children open a part of heart we never knew was there, and she is showing you that she opened it and although she isnt in your arms that part of her is always with you!! She left you with a gift, a gift of love, just like you gave truly special.
I don't have a blog but would love to email you so if you don't mind I will email you to your account when I have a bit more time. Love Em

Andrea said...

What great pictures! I love seeing her face as she looks at the animals. You are in my thoughts often and prayers always. You inspire me to do better by holding on and keep moving forward even when you don't want to. If you ever need anything please feel free to ask.


C said...

I'm glad she liked the polka-dot blanket and that you decided to keep it. I like to think it brought her some joy, and you too.

Anonymous said...

Kendra, your so amazing and extremely strong. Your words r so pure and ur love for Kenz is out of this world. I have learned so much from following ur blogs. Thank u for continuing to post. I look forward to what u have to say everyday .. Ur such a wonderful Mom and Kenz is so lucky to have you as her Mother. Stay strong like we all know u r and if u need anything let me know .. Muah ~Leslie Martinez

Anonymous said...


Alerie said...

She sure was loved by many!!!! Every time I read your blog I love how much you truly knew about your daughter. Every little detail. You know more about your little Makenzie then some moms know in a lifetime. You are an AMAZING mother!! She is so blessed to have you has her mommy FOREVER!! As I am sure you feel blessed to have her!! You are such a wonderful family. I would really like to email you since I don't have a blog, I hope you don't mind. I hope you have another sweet dream with Makenzie tonight. You will be in my prayers. Much love!!


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