Friday, September 5, 2008

I miss "Aunt Kendra"

I want to be home right now. With my family. All of my family. Seeing everyone run, laugh, smile. Today is a day I realize once again how much love I have for my family.
Ben, MyungLim, Mina, Yuna, Bitna and Donna all took off back to Korea. Standing at the airport watching them walk away almost drove me insane. I have been having a really hard couple of days- Thinking about this moment. Know they are going back to their home. Not knowing when I can see them again. When I went to help pick them up this morning little Bitna was crying. This little green eyed girl didn't want to leave and watching her with those tears running down her face broke my heart to pieces. I love to hear "Aunt Kendra" I love to hug those girls who are going up so fast and I hate the fact I cant watch it. My brother has always been very special to me. When we went to visit him in Korea I developed this incredibly strong bond. This need for him and for his whole family. One of the best things that came out of our trip to Korea was realizing I needed to develop this with the rest of my family. It can be very difficult sometimes. Our views, opinions and our past esp. has really gotten in the way of this close family like I dream. I understand it will not be a close family but I want to be as close as possible to each one of my siblings. I have really been able to get close to Kristianne lately. Of course always have looked up to her. The "cool" one for my whole life. What an amazing person she is. I see her take care of Grandma Murtle and I am blown away. True unconditional love! I can go on and on about her and all my other siblings but that's for another post. I am more writing for my own realization once again how important my family is to me. Everyone of them. I am so grateful to have the life I was given.
I promised my Bitna I would see her during the year she is 5- She turns 5 in November so I have 1 year and 2 months to get back to Korea. I still cant think about waking up tomorrow and not being able to see these girls. I just cant think about it right now-

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