Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Post Valentines

So let me tell you about our special LOVE day... We both worked. I got home around 6:30ish and Ryan was busy making dinner. STEAK. That's right people pretty much my most favorite thing in the world. We gobbled up the deliciousness and then cuddled on the couch while watching tv. We got some special visitors who dropped of some treats which turned into our dessert. Oh how sweet they are. After they left I didn't feel so well. I kept telling Ryan was going to cry if I threw up that dinner because it was so good. I decided to get in the bath to see if that helped. Apparently that just boiled the food in my tummy helping the projectile vomit be all that more powerful. Do you know whats worse than throwing up a super yummy valentines dinner? Having to then clean it up after because you didn't get to the toilet in time. Oh joy! So I cried. Ryan laughed. He gave me a lime Popsicle which I have learned calms my tummy. and we fell asleep.
It was somewhat romantic. Ended in misery.
But really nothing is better than any amount of time with the husband.

Happy Valentines to Everyone!

PS. Its been a day and of course my mind is a little clearer. I re-read my 8 week post and wanted to make sure what I said didn't come out wrong. I tend to do that. My words get jumbled and they come out being everything I didn't want to say. Anyway. Ryan and I have absolutely no doubts if we made the right choice using a sperm donor. This was the way we felt was best and the right way for us to get a SMARD free child here. I am thankful for our donor. I am thankful that for whatever reason he choose to become one. It is because of him that I am puking my guts out and honestly loving almost every second of it. I am thankful to have even had this option. I am nervous about telling this baby down the road but like so many of you reminded me--- a sperm donor is just that. ANYONE can be a sperm donor. But its someone special that actually makes a Father. Ryan has already proven this. The amount of love he has for this baby is more than I could ever dream. I shouldn't ever worry because that is all that matters. I will tell you right now I believe that with my whole heart. He is ours. I do hope this baby looks like Ryan. Some of my favorite features with Makenzie were the ones she got from Ryan. She was the perfect blend. and this baby may not be Ryan's biologically but in the big picture, the biological stuff just doesn't matter. This child was created for us. For Ryan and I. They were going to be ours no matter what. I have so many fears for this little life...
but I don't fear if this child will be loved.
I don't fear if they will be wanted.
I don't fear if they will be given a life they deserve.
Thanks again friends for helping me see what is real and what is just my mind being silly.


Amy said...

I had horrible nausea with my little man. Ask the doctor for a RX of Zofran. It is a miracle pill.

Robin said...

Aw, I'm sorry you ended up losing such a great dinner...but it's so worth it! I am so happy for you guys! This baby is so lucky to have a mom and dad like the two of you. You're so right too...this little one is just as much Ryan's as he/she is yours. He/she is already so loved, and we can all see that. I'm always praying for you and Ryan and your precious little one. Take care of yourself...and enjoy that deserve it!
PS. I absolutely LOVE the picture in your last post. So precious!!!

Anonymous said...

I can only imagine what goes through your head when you think of this child. It's normal, Kendra. You've gone through so much,and you have a right to be paranoid, to be fearful, a little crazy even. But in the end, everything will be fine. Everything that has happened has had its reason and purpose. What matters the most, is that at the end of all this, there will be a little baby that will hold your finger and will call you two mommy and daddy. Still keeping your in my prayers and I love reading the weekly updates on the baby :)

Paige said...

Oh no! :-( I never got that sick with my daughter, but I do remember one night I ate the best plate of spaghetti. I ate it too fast, and the next thing I know I was hovering over the toilet. It was so gross! Have you tried Preggie Pop Drops? Those were so yummy (except for the yellow ones, eew) and really helped, especially when I was at work and feeling sick. Anyways I am done rambling! :) Feel better soon, dear!

caseyp said...

So maybe im an idiot but i cant seem to find a way to email you directly.... So can i send you a check for cook books? or does it have to be credit card, or pay pal? Of which i have neither.... Would you accept a check or money order. or certified check from bank??

My email adddy is thanks Kendra looking forward to hearing from you and getting a cookbook

Casey from sc

Anonymous said...

I wanted to share with you something that my mother told me yrs ago. (I commented on your 8 week post a little bit, but neglected to state this point.)
My mother always told me that pretty much anyone can be a father (create a child) but it takes a real man to be a dad (be there and raise that child). I have come to see that it is true. My own dad adopted my older sister when he met my mom, my own husband is adopting my oldest daughter as well. (due to my ex-husband being mostly absent) It sounds like Ryan is another great guy! I really wish the best for your family!

Melanie Parker said...

Kendra, My daughter is in the PICU at Primarys. I was happy she got a pair of Kenzie Leggings as her bingo prize. It made me feel so lucky for her and to know the story of a darling little girl and how the leggings came about. Thanks so much!

Heather said...

This baby truly is yours and Ryan's. God doesn't make mistakes. This little spirit is already in heaven waiting to come down. It would be the same spirit whether or not Ryan's sperm was used or a donor's sperm was used. :) I believe that with all of my heart and I know that you do too! It would be scary, knowing what should be said to this little one over the years about how they got to earth, but I think when the time comes you will feel confident about how to handle it.

Emma said...

Sorry to hear about your Valentine dinner, but glad you and Ryan were able to spend the evening together-the good and the bad!
I am glad to hear you are feeling a little less worrisome about the questions etc-I know you have no doubt this baby was destined for you and Ryan, in whatever way they came to you, but pregnancy makes us crazy with emotions so just take em as they come and you will be fine! I am so excited for you both and can't wait to see more ultrasound pics and ultimately "meet" your little one!
Take care,


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