Wednesday, December 21, 2011

24 Months

Makenzie's Angel Day.
How can I celebrate the most incredible life I have ever known to live?
What could I do to adequately express how much love I have for her.
How much I ache every single day for her.

148 balloons released for the best 148 days of my life.
148 sunrises.
148 sunsets.
We wrote angel names on every balloon like we did last year. This year, unfortunately we had to add names. I hate that any other parent has to know this pain. That any other Mum has the number of days of her child's life. I love seeing the mass amount of color floating to heaven. With all the hugs and kisses that everyone had to give.

The party in Heaven I'm sure was a sight to see.
A few of our angels...

Hailey Elizabeth
Kaden Addington
Stephen Eric
Paige Elizabeth
Rylee Ann
Charlotte Grace
Noah Callan
Daxton Matthew
Kris Matthew
Dax Royce
Avery Ann
Jake Alan
Jack Alexander
Cosette Rae
Lincoln David
Caleb Elijah
Jackson Burton
Evan Coburn
Gavin Charles
Evan Chandler
Gavin Jeffrey
Kamberlie Ann
Craig Eli
Beatrice Ann
Mason Curtis
Holly Elizabeth
Scott Lincoln
Camille Kathleen
Emma Grace
Daxton Douglas
Kolby Jayden
Sidney Lee
Lucia Isabella
Myles Sherman
Morgen Bennett
Joy Elise
Esther Joann
Trinity Melinda
Bridget Lucille
Hannah Kate
Tanner D.
Cameron J.
Jacob Ephraim
Ella Paige
James Joseph
Isabelle Paige
Jada Adelle
Brigham Var Selle
Caydin Matthew
Paris Lavone
Evan Walter
Karleigh Ann
Mia Nicole
Ethan Snow
Dominic Angelo
Makenzie Rye
Preslee Jo
Kael David
Landry Gale
Landon & Luke
Ryker Michael
Ruby Jane
Whitney Gertge
Josiah Nygard
Joshua Lonati
Laila Shay
Gabriel Grant


It was only necessary to then celebrate the best part of Makenzie's life.
Being home.
With Jesus.
In heaven.
So we sent 24 lanterns for 24 months of pure light.

Oh how I wish I had those 24 months with her. That she was in my arms. That I was putting her to bed every night and waking up to her every morning. After 24 months I have learned more than some learn in a whole lifetime. I have grown to be a different person. I love bigger. More often. My priorities have changed. What is important is completely different than it once was. My daughter changed me in her short time here on earth. But what changed me the most- is learning to live with my daughter in heaven. What she has taught me through prayer. Through dreams. Through our spirits.
Forever I will be learning from her. From her legacy. From what she has given me and continues to give me. I pray for her happiness. For the life she is living now.

Happy 24 month Angel-versary Makenzie.
I pray you can still feel the incredible love I have for you baby.  If its possible, I miss you more today than any other day. I cant believe this is our life. I can believe that was your mission. I am thankful for what you gave me. Feel my love. Know your Mommy will forever want you. and no matter what, would never give up the life I had with you. Daddy talks about you more than ever. We imagine who you would be. What you would like. How life would be with a 2 1/2 year old in the backseat. If it was up to us, you would be here. Forever. We would have never had to say goodbye. But that is our wants. That would make our life better. But we know you are right where you are suppose to be. You are in the best place possible. You are free.
Lovie, make sure you
Catch our kisses.
Catch our wishes.
and keep dreaming with us.
Love you to the moon Makenzie Rye.


Tenille said...

What a great way to remember an incredible life. Thanks for including my precious nephew on your balloons. We send him balloons every year too. While I don't know you at all I am truly impressed with your strength. Thanks for sharing.

Laura said...

What a beautiful way to remember your sweet angel.

That list of angel babies is WAY too long and makes my heart hurt for all the Mama's that have had to say goodbye to their sweet babies.

Praying for all the families on the list, especially yours.


Chelsea L said...

That was absolutely beautiful, Kendra. My prayers are with you and your family often.

Ryan,Erika,Kaylee and Khloe Pettersson said...

I wish so badly you didn't have to post these pictures, write about these celebrations... I'm so sorry. I have been reading your blog for a while now, so I know your story but every time I come it's like the first time. I get a lump in my throat, my heart sinks and my eyes get teary. It doesn't get "easier" to read. I can NOT even BEGIN to imagine that you live this every day. I do what I do during the day, I stop by your blog, shed a few tears, say a prayer for you and then I keep doing every day stuff.
You live this
Know I feel great love for you, I admire you Kendra and hope that I can be as good of person as you are one day.
Makenzie is one lucky little girl to have you for a mommy.

Ryan,Erika,Kaylee and Khloe Pettersson said...

And all these pictures are beautiful. You did a great job showing how much your little angel means to you. I bet she was so happy to get all the love, kisses and balloons that day! Her grave is beautifully decorated. That list of "few" names just hit me hard. I can't believe all these little ones are in heaven. Breaks my heart that so many moms have to visit so many graves. Praying for all of you angel mommies.

Ashley Quarles said...

Everything about this post is beautiful. Your words. Your pictures. Her headstone. Just beautiful.

Praying for you always!

Alesha said...

I love it! That is seriously awesome. I am always looking for ways to remember my sweet Pierce. I love the lantern idea. The picture of you two holding is really special. I totally agree about learning more in a short time than in a lifetime. I feel the same way and it has only been 5 months.

Kristalynn said...

What beautiful pictures..I follow your blog, check for updates every day...while reading this I didn't expect to see my Laila on your list. THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH for including my angel in your special day! As you know all we want is for our babies to be remembered, and they are:)

Chantel said...

All the balloons and lanterns turned out really beautiful. I also wanted to let you know in case you wanted to pass along the info to your readers... If any one is looking for a good deal on leggings to donate for next year, is running a sale until the 28th. 75% off of a purchase of $75 or more using the code JOLLY75 and free shipping on orders over $30.

Rachael G. said...

What a beautiful testament to such a beautiful little life.

crystal said...

The pictures are so beautiful just like Makenzie!!! In one of your pictures the lanterns look like a dove. I know that she is watching over you and Ryan and sees the love you have for her. Praying for you!!! Hope you have a Merry Christmas!!!

Laura said...

What a great thing to do for your little angel. thought you might like to know or post on your blog that has 75% off $75 purchase, which would make a $75 purchase only $18.75. A great way to get a lot of leggins for you project.

Emma said...

What a beautiful way to celebrate such an inspirational life here on Earth and such an exceptional, everlasting life in Heaven.
Until she is in your arms again....
Love and hugs always, Em

Ashley said...

What a beautiful way to remember your sweet daughter!!

Lindsay said...

That's so beautiful... I was reading along and came to "Stephen Eric"... he's my cousin's baby... and it means a lot to us that people remember him. :) Thank you.

Unknown said...

Makenzie has the BEST parents any sweet little girl could ask for in you and Ryan. The LOVE you share with us towards that sweet little angel is one that I learn from everytime I read your posts. Not only did Makenzie teach you and Ryan, she is teaching us all to hug our children a little tighter everyday, she has taught me patiences, understanding and LOVE!!! Thank you for letting her teach me and the rest of the world!!!

Amanda said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband during the holiday season, and always. As a mom to five month old twins it hurts my heart to even imagine the pain you are in. What a beautiful tribute to Makenzie.

Robin said...

The things you do for that little girl, are so precious! She sees, she knows how much she is loved. God would never, ever, not let Makenzie feel the love her family has for her. She knows, and I'm sure she is hoping you and her daddy can feel her love for you guys too. Praying for you and Ryan always!

soften said...

Oh Kendra - you are so thoughtful to think of our little ones. I don't check the Angel blog very often but I was reading on your blog about Mackenzie just yesterday and I couldn't help but shed so many tears and fall in love with your beautiful family. I can't tell you how sweet it was to see that Esther's name was written on one of the balloons again this year. I was feeling a little heartbroken today (Esther's angel day is January 1st) and it just brightened my day to see her name and to realize someone else had been thinking of her too. We've got to get our angel group together sometime - I'd love to meet you and Ryan. Your daughter is so beautiful and I'm sure she aches to be with you too. With love, Sheryl (Esther's mom)

Sarah said...

What a great way to remember her life with you and I love all the pictures. That list is too heartbreaking and too long.

* Amber * said...

So beautiful. You have one lucky little girl! What a beautiful way to keep her memory alive. She is def. alive in my heart. Have a great holiday!

brigette said...

The night was beautiful! Thank you for the invite and remembering kael!! We love you guys!!

Toni ~ Mom to 8 heavenly Angels and 1 earthly Angel. said...

Wanted to send my love and ((hugs)), I now how hard this time of year is.

Lisa F said...

Precious angels!
Thank YOU for teaching me, Kendra.

quailene said...

Where did you get the lanterns? They are beautiful.


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