Fathers Day

I honestly don't know how I got so lucky to marry this man and be able to have him as the father of my children. He is the very best thing to ever come into my life and I couldn't imagine a day without him. 

Makenzie adored her Dad. He could always get her to smile and he was the only one who could ever make her laugh. He would do anything for her. Now that we are nearing the end of this pregnancy and we will be jumping into the world of parenthood in less than 3 months I can feel the excitement oozing from him. He cant wait to meet his son. This man has been through more than most.

He is so incredible and I learn from him everyday.

He has the very best heart and would do anything for the ones he loves.

He deserves all the happiness in the world and I cant wait until he gets to be called a Dad again.

This will be the last Fathers day he will have to spend without a child.

I cant wait for that day.

We are so lucky to have him. 

Makenzie and baby T are the luckiest kids in the world.

We spent the morning visiting with our friends and I made Ryans favorite breakfast. Ryan has been feeling sick so he spent the rest of the day sleeping. That evening we had an amazing dinner at Ryans parents and came home to relax and go to bed early so hopefully Ryan can feel better. All that boy has been wanting for years is a camo cowboy hat. and I have held off for as long as possible before making such a purchase. I mean a camo cowboy hat? but I figured he had waited long enough and that boy deserved that hat. It took some serious effort to find the perfect one and one that was his size. Apparently they are not in high demand. weird. but I found that perfect one and I honestly wish I would have taken his picture when he opened it. He doesn't show much emotion when it comes to gifts but the smile he had was perfect. He really was so excited and cant wait to wear it. So what if I think its kind of weird and not really my style. My Ryan was happy and I will be happy even if it never takes it off the rest of his life, just as long as he is happy.

...

..

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and we cant go without saying how incredible Ryan's Dad is.

These 2 are one in the same.

I know Randy, Ryan and TK will have an amazing relationship.

They cant wait until he is here. 

First step- be born

Second step- learn to shoot a bow.

That's how its been done for generations :)

Randy is such an incredible example of a Fathers love and I never understood what that meant until I met him. He adores his kids and his grand babies even more.

He is always there and would do anything for all of them.

I am so thankful to have him in our lives and I know Ryan wouldn't know what to do without him.

He is the very best Papa anyone could ask for.

Makenzie was kind of obsessed with his mustache.

Happy Happy Fathers Day to all the Fathers out there!

weekend visitors

We had a great weekend with great company.

Its been far to long since we got to see these little loves.

Ryland has yet to warm up to us other than watching us from afar, Rylee is my snuggle bug 

and Keelie loves everyone.

We swam everyday, ate amazing food, wondered around the farmers market, admired the amazing chalk art downtown, played in the toy room, played outside, played in the front room, played in the kitchen, played on the stairs, went out for frozen yogurt and stayed up late.

Sunday morning came way to fast and our stay-cation was over.

Its a good thing we already have our next visit planned. July is full of birthdays between our families.

Their Ryker and our Makenzie were born just 4 days apart.

We find it fitting that since our babies will be celebrating their birthdays together in heaven we will celebrate their birthdays together here.

I cant believe in a month we will both have 3 year olds.

27 Weeks

How far along? 27 Weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes.
Best moment this week: Visits from friends and getting the fabric for baby T's room. and celebrating the best Daddy I know on Fathers Day.
Not so good moment of the week: Not being able to sit anywhere comfortably. He is sitting so low.
Miss Anything? Being comfortable.
Movement: He moves the most when I lay on my side. He starts going crazy in there.
Food Cravings: My milk craving is back. I cant drink enough.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week.
Gender: BOY. 
Symptoms: My back has been doing much better and I think that is because we have been swimming a lot more and I am walking more. The contractions are better. My only complaints right now is the feeling I cant breathe and my tummy feeling rather uncomfortable all the time.
Emotions: My emotions have been in check a bit more this week. I am crying my eyes out everyday for one reason or another.
Looking forward to: The next time we go swimming. Oh it seriously makes my whole body feel better.


This week overall has been much better pregnancy wise. Not sure whats changed. We have been crazy busy so that might help but I feel better in just about every aspect. I am nearing the end of the second trimester and getting close to end. I am super anxious with both happiness and fear. I cant wait to hold this little boy. I have longed to be a Mom my entire life and to have that slip away so soon after it began has really been hard. This little boy will never take the place of Makenzie and she will forever be a missing link in our family but TK is going to bring so much joy into our world. Our son is going to have a whole different kind of love from Ryan and I. He is going to experience a life with us that Makenzie never would have been able to have because it took losing her for us to get it. Ryan is so anxious to have a little boy. He asks how he is doing everyday and is always so concerned about him. He is the very best Dad and I cant wait until we gets to experience this whole parenting thing again.

26 Weeks

How far along? 26 Weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes but my favorite piece is leggings and they are not maternity.
Best moment this week: Our weekend getaway with the family and hearing Ryan's dreams about this baby. I find it so strange that I am 26 weeks pregnant and have yet to dream of him. Not even 1 little dream. but not Ryan. The roles have switched. Although the other day he dreamed about him being born the size of a 2 year old with creepy teeth and some hell-ian child.
Not so good moment of the week: Starting to doubt the name for this baby. Ryan is making his name to hang on his wall and I was getting the measurements and everything for it when I started having a panic attack. I hear that name and picture him. but all the sudden it sounds weird when I say it. It just doesn't sound right. I had the same issue with Makenzie and what kind of fixed that was changing the spelling. We were originally going to spell her name Mckenzie. and we even did some things with that name to put in her room but literally a couple weeks before she was born we changed it. Mckenzie was not her name. Even though we just changed the spelling it changed how I felt about her name completely. The only thing about this baby's name is we really cant change the spelling or it will change his name. It will spell a different word and we will be calling him something different than that word and I don't like that. So right now we are both freaking out a little. Ryan is not even interested in floating around other ideas. T.... is his sons name. I have no other names I even like and I have been through my 100,000 baby name book a few times and nothing else is even an option.
Miss Anything? Sleep.
Movement: All the time. He is so active and I love it but honestly it hurts. His movements have been feeling more like he is physically assaulting me more than him moving around. and he particularly loves my bladder It must be rather squishy and he uses it as some kind of toy.
I have to note on Saturday I started getting really freaked out because I didn't feel him move all day. I cried several times throughout the day and finally told Ryan. I didn't want to say anything because I felt like I was being a bit dramatic but I was seriously freaking out. I kept thinking about what we would do if something happened to this baby. I drank a ton of water and took a hot shower before bed and finally about an hour after I laid down he started going crazy. I cant even say how much of relief that was. and since then he is all over the place. I kept telling him on Saturday that I will never care how much he moves or hurts me ever again as long as he just moves now. and its true. I will be even that much more grateful for every little movement he makes because it reminds me he is okay.
Food Cravings: Snow cones.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I haven't been sick but all the sudden I am extremely picky about food. If it even has a hint of smell that I don't like I cant eat it. I don't get sick I just cant eat it. The past week I have spent far to long just staring at things in my cupboards and fridge and I cant bring myself to eating any of it. The only thing I could eat all the time is snow cones.
Gender: BOY.
Symptoms: Back is hurting again, contractions, little energy, super emotional and quite uncomfortable sleeping.
Emotions: Very emotional. I cried watching Will and Grace a few days ago. at a part that was not sad. I have been having some serious anxiety about this baby and if he will be okay. I feel like I'm back to those earlier stages of not even being able think of a life with him. It just seems impossible. but then it also seems impossible that God would take him from me. Its all very confusing.
Looking forward to: Snow cones, Fathers day next week, play dates with some friends, cabin trip planned and swimming.

Camping

First camping trip of 2012 was a lot of fun. Our plan was to spend a weekend sitting by the lake, getting some sun, stuffing our faces with mallows, fishing and just enjoy doing a lot of nothing.

Of course things don't always work out exactly how you plan.

Friday before we even left for the lake I went to my pool for a wee bit and burnt my ass off. Seriously. I don't think I have ever been so burnt. My legs ached because of how swollen they got. I was a bit worried to sit out in the sun the rest of the weekend but I shouldn't have worried too much and simply just looked at the weather forecast. It was chilly. Not even warm enough to put your tootsies in the water. and dogs were not allowed so all of our swimming fun went out the window. Its probably a blessing in disguise because I don't think I could have handled a moment in the sun. I packed Ryan and I for warm lake weather but like I said I didn't think to look at the forecast and so we were freezing most of the time. Thanks Becky for loaning me some pants one night. Seriously who only packs tank tops, shorts, swim suits and flip flops for a weekend camping? Did I think I was going to a California beach? Did I not forget I am still in the mountains and maybe a pair of jeans and some tennis shoes would have been useful?

oh well.

So our warm lake planned weekend didn't turn out but we had a great time none the less. We had lots of good food, we went on walks, were attacked by a wild cotton tree that almost took us all out allergy wise, the mosquitoes were at war with most of us, we talked a lot, we went and cheered Randy and Shaun (Ryans Daddo and BIL) as they finished the Tour de Cure Saturday afternoon, we walked down by the lake for about 30 seconds there before we were blown away, we roasted mallows, cooked with the dutch oven, ate tin foil dinners, played with the baby, played with Addison, chopped wood, made a few trips down the road to the gas station to fill up our drinks and did our best to stay warm. 

On Sunday morning we realized we didn't have to check out of our stop until much later than we planned so the boys loaded up their fishing gear and headed to the lake since the sun was out and it was much warmer. Ryan has been wanting to fish for quite a while so he was happy as can be.

It was fun to be with family. It was fun to have a little time away from the everyday routine. 

and we definitely cant wait to go out again.

Poor Harley had a rough time. She was somewhat happy but between the cold, her horrible horrible allergies and being eaten alive by some kind of bug she was more ready to be home than anyone else.

We did our best to keep her bundled and by the fire but this girl is such a wimp. We laugh at how pathetic she can get. After a bath, overdosing her with benadryl and a warm bed she is recovering slowly. 

You can see in this picture some of the bumps on her head. Seriously they are covering her body. I have been quite a bit worried but her vet assured me that she is fine and to just keep an eye on her.

I have to say its rather sad when her vet pretty much knows my number by heart because I'm consistently calling about something. I fear for baby T's pediatrician.

Its always so nice to come home. I cant say how amazing a shower after camping is. I think one of the best feelings ever. Call me crazy but its true in my book. Ryan and I didn't sleep hardly at all either night so we were exhausted and not feeling well by the time we got home. We slept most of the evening and then woke up long enough to drag our butts to bed.

Oh how I love my bed.

Cant wait to go out again.