Sunday, December 6, 2009

sunday

what a day... our little miss kenzie had a rough morning. since she was throwing up last night, which she shouldn't be able to do, they did a chest xray this morning. it showed a LARGE air bubble again. this shouldn't be there either because it should be able to vent through her gtube. they unhooked her gtube feeding, stuck another feeding tube down her nose into her intestines. they put another tube into her other nostril down into her belly to suck out the air. so our princess is back to 3 tubes down every hole in her face. she isn't as happy as she has been but i don't blame her. her xray also showed her lung secretions have really built up- her left lower is almost collapsed. they put more pressure into her breathing tube (or increased the PEEP for those who know what that means).

ryan and i have had a hard day. i held makenzie for a couple hours which was amazing. it was the only thing i could do to calm myself. i find myself shaking quite a bit.

4 comments :

Anonymous said...

I found your blog though a friends the other day and came back today to get an update, your family has been on my mind. I am sorry to hear Kenzie had a tough day, and in turn you and Ryan did as well. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I just had to comment on your last post as well...where you said you didn't feel strong. Remember that strength isn't being able to stand up all the time, not have tears, not fall apart...it is being able to stand back up when you fall to your knees, to take each and every step one at a time. You are going through something no mother should ever have to and I am so, so sorry, but you are strong. You are by your babies side each and every day, showing her and filling her with your love-she CAN feel it, just as you can feel it,and see it in those beautiful eyes of hers! I will continue praying for you that your sweet baby girl helps you to know whatever decisions you make are the right ones and for the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hugs, Emma

KendraJane said...

Like the poster above, I have been coming back daily checking on your family. You have been in my prayers and on my mind. As a mother myself my heart aches for you... Kenzie is blessed to have you as a mommy.

TMI Tara said...

I'm sorry you had a hard day, Kendra. I wish more than anything there was something I could do to relieve some of your worry and suffering. Just know that we love you and you all are in our thoughts and prayers ALWAYS. {{hugs}}

Robin + Annie said...

Kendra,
I am going to email you. Check it when you feel like it.

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