Saturday, December 26, 2009

makenzie rye

we are slowly getting the pictures back of kenzie that we had done before she passed. this sweet lady is sending me a few as a preview as she gets them edited. i cant wait until i have them all.





i cant believe how much i miss her. i cant believe how much i love her. im aching for those eyes.

10 comments :

American in Norway said...

She is precious... I m so sorry for your loss. Hugs from Norway.

The Pachuilo Family said...

Kenrda,
You are such an amazing woman, don't ever forget that. I just love those pictures of Kenzie, she is beautiful!

Jenni said...

Oh Kendra, reading back through your last post, it's just so hard to even know what to say. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope that threw it all, you can find some comfort in knowing that there are so many people out there who love and care about you and your family so much. My heart just aches for you. It's hard to read your feelings without finding myself breaking down with sorrow for you and Ryan. Nothing any of us can say or do is going to bring that sweet baby girl back, but I hope you can feel of our love and heart ache for you through the comments left on your blog. A big, huge hug from Riverton, UT!!!!

Emma said...

What incredibly wise, loving, warm, captivating eyes....I am so glad you have these beautiful pictures. I know they are only a tiny glimpse of Kenzie and what she brought, and will continue to bring, to your life,but I am so glad you have them to hold onto. I hope you have sweet dreams tonight, peaceful dreams where you can feel your Angel daughters arms encircling you. Love Em

Anonymous said...

Yes Kendra, those eyes tell stories. I pray that you know how much she loves you. I know she is watching over you and catches every balloon we set off. I love you, Mom

Anonymous said...

Her eyes - wow! She seemed wise beyond her time. I am so sorry that your time with her was cut so short - some things just will never be understood, but how blessed you were to have gotten to know her and be the parents who were the love of her life here on earth.

Dannette (a mom in Kansas who found your blog)

Alerie said...

simply beautiful.

Nana said...

Kendra,
I have been thinking about you and Ryan, praying for you and Ryan. The pictures are beautiful. You have every right to feel all the emotion that is going through you right now. Keep writing, get it all out.

God knows you are a good mother. That Ryan is a good father. I believe that is why he gave you Kenzie. He knew you would love her unconditionally and eternally. He knew you would do the best you could for her. That she would be in a home full of love.

Kenzie knows that too.

I can't imagine trying to find peace right now. Maybe you don't feel like praying right now. Maybe you are prayed out. Please try to do it anyway. Tell Heavenly Father how you feel in every way. Then slowly you may feel the spirit and learn the answers to the many questions you have.

That is the only way I have been able to understand some of the things that happen in this life. Please also know that I truly am not trying to sound or be preachy. I read what I wrote and was like whoa.... slow your roll Miss Preachy Pants.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I am heart broken that you are having to go through this.

You and Ryan stay close. You are each others best allies right now. You are both on each others side. Like no one else could possibly be. Oops there I go preaching again. Well, it is Sunday. I will get off my soap box now and try not to fall flat on my face.

I hope this day is a little brighter for you.
Love,

Tami

Anonymous said...

Kendra- You are such a wonderful mom. Dont ever think that you did anything wrong. You were and are perfect for Makenzie and she loves you just the way you are. Sometimes we dont understand why things happen to us and we never will until we see our angels again. I have no idea what you are going through because I have never been in your shoes...what I do know is that when I lost the baby I was pregnant with, I was simply devistated. I was surrounded by pregnant sisters and friends and I wondered why me every single time I saw them. Our situations are different but the loss of my baby ended with Kalea and I wouldnt trade her for the world. I know one day I will understand why I had to go through that and why God thought I needed that trial in my life. I know that I will never understand what you and Ryan are going through no one will because we are not you. She was your light and your life and now she is your angel. You will always have her with you. There is a motherly bond that is forever with you. Please dont blame yourself. You are such a warm and loving woman and I hate to see you in pain it just breaks my heart. I know this is different but I always thought what did I do wrong, why did the baby's heart stop, did I not take the right vitimin, did i eat something bad, did I not deserve the baby and so many other things. I am sure your feelings are much much stronger and as a mother I cant even imagine your pain. I am glad you have this post to vent and to get it out. I am glad you are getting out of bed and I am glad you have such a wonderful family to guide you. If you ever need a friend I am always here. Please know how much Ryan and Makenzie love you and how wonderful you are. Love Kam

carolyn q said...

I came across your blog from a post you left on one of my friends blogs.
What amazing pictures, especially of your sweet Angel daughter's eyes. That is one thing I will never forget of my little daughter when she passed away at 4 1/2 months. .steel blue eyes full of so much wisdom!
Though it's been over 9 years ago since her passing, the pain never goes away but as time has gone on life continues and once again my world feels full.
I pray for you especially knowing your are into the first year of her passing. It's such an incredibly hard time, please be patient with yourself. There are no rules in grieving.
(HUGS)

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