Saturday, August 3, 2013

Follow up to 'Need to Write''

Thank you for the sweet comments that definitely helped me feel like I wasn't alone.
After I posted that post I kept having this nagging feeling and wanted to clear something up.
Not that anyone said anything but its just for myself because I want to make sure I say it.
I KNOW how lucky and how blessed we are that we are in a situation that I can work from home and be with Tracker everyday. There are so many Mums out there that wish so much they could be in my situation and be home with their little's and its not possible. I am so sorry if my post made it seem I wasn't grateful or wasn't happy to be in this role.
That guilt I feel is just because I want to do everything I can to pull my weight with our family and I am used to that weight being in the form of bringing in a paycheck. I now just need to see my role differently. Like a few of you reminded me... I am working... I am doing what I have always dreamed of. I am doing a very important job. That is raising our son. I am the one that gets him up everyday. I am there for every tear, every laugh, every mess, every new trick. I am the one who is teaching him. That is a very important job. He will only be my baby for so long. He will grow and become his own man and its important that I teach him what a good man is. Who knows who he will be in life but he is part of the future and my role is to help shape him into someone that will make a positive impact on this world. That is a very big role. That is a HUGE job. How have I never looked at it that way before? Sure right now my days are full of teaching him to point, wave, sign all done or more or teaching him to walk. My "job" doesn't seem like its all that relevant. But its all part of helping Tracker grow. Learn. and develop.
All you working Mums are on double time. You are working at your paycheck job and then come home and still have to "work" at your Mommy job. You really are amazing!
No matter what situation you are in. No matter what your main "job" is. None of it is easy. We are all working our butts off and doing everything we can to raise the best kids we can.
I need to remember to give myself a break. I need to remember I am working and my role is important.
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