Thursday, December 24, 2009

11 days - christmas eve

are you ready for Christmas? i am but to be honest I'm glad its almost over. since last year i have dreamed about Christmas morning with makenzie. i even got a head start on shopping this year and got her a few things before she went into the hospital. even though she never saw those things, i cant imagine getting rid of them. i bought them for her, thinking about opening them with her and one day watching her play with them. i don't understand why whenever i go shopping I'm drawn to the baby area. what the crap..... i do everything i can to go around that area but when i least expect it, I'm standing in front of the diapers, clothes, toys, strollers or whatever baby item that store Carry's. then i have a hard time leaving. i just hold the bibs, the binkys, the blocks. this is annoying. i haven't grocery shopped in months. since before kenzie went into the hospital. i make a point to not go into a place that i have to look at thing i know will remind me of makenzie, but it doesn't matter where i go, she shows up everywhere.
its been 11 days since my daughter died. it doesn't feel like Christmas eve.


Anonymous said...

Hi Kendra & Ryan,

I know this year is so hard for you two. My heart hurts for you both. But you know your little Kenzie is in Heaven enjoying Christmas Eve and she wants you to smile, you know how much she loved your smiles :) look up to Heaven and wink at her and tell her Merry Christmas Eve, she's watching and waiting to catch more balloons too!

Merry Christmas Kendra & Ryan

Love you,
Wendy Lamb

Katie Danner said...

You are so sweet Kendra. I know Makenzie is with you during this season, even though she can't be seen with the physical eye, her spirit can be felt with the heart. She is most definitely around you. I hope your holidays are wonderful- I think about you everyday and send my love.


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