10 Months

Its been way to long. Now into the double digits. I'm trying to hold on. I'm working hard at it. I'm not giving up. Dad and I spent a long time last night laying on the floor in your room. We I sang. I don't sing good. Its rather horrible. But I just miss it. I miss singing to you. Its hard to remember this time last year. The journey we were starting to get into.  You were growing. I was going back to work. We thought life was moving in one direction. You were starting to get sick. Its hard for me to look back and know the pain you were in. To understand your body was failing. The first day- the first time I ever noticed something happening. I play it over and over in my head. To know what that meant now. To know it really was something and not nothing. Today- its Kenzie Day. We are having a Halloween party. We are going to celebrate the life you lived. Celebrate the time we shared with you this time last year.
I'm also going to raise awareness. I have a booth set up for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation. Maybe one more person will know about this disease. 
As I laid on your floor last night, I couldn't believe that room is really empty. That you really will not be coming back. I couldn't believe those books wouldn't be read by you, those toys wouldn't be played with. That bed will remain unslept in. Makenzie, please know you will forever be our world. We are living for you. To make a change so others don't have to experience what you did. We are living to make you proud. You are in our minds in every decision.  Please be happy. Please be that same full of life sweetheart you are. Know everyone here misses you. So many many people miss you. You will NEVER be forgotten. Not for a second. I love you to the moon. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. I love you to infinity.
I'm sending you millions of kisses.
Love,
Mom