Q&A --- Answers

    1.   What names have you and Ryan been considering for that new cutie pie?

When we were thinking of names for Makenzie I would say on several occasions that picking the name was one of the worst parts about a new baby. I was so paranoid about picking the “wrong” name. I mean if the name Makenzie wouldn’t have come along she probably would have been named Zoey. Not that I don’t love Zoey- but she was definitely NOT a Zoey. Anyway… this time around, its actually been kind of fun. Maybe because we are so early in the process. We will see how it goes in 8 months. The names we LOVE are the same names we have LOVED for a couple years now.

Boy Names:  Jax, Ryder and Cash

Girl Names:  Ella, Macey, Raylee and Ryann

I wouldn’t be surprised if we use none of these names but we will see J

     2.   Are you planning on doing any Genetic testing to see if this child is a carrier of SMARD?

So we wont be doing any Genetic testing while I am pregnant this time.  After the baby is born we will be testing the baby for SMARD- which is done with a simple blood draw. The only reason I want to do that is because I am extremely paranoid. We were not able to have the sperm donor tested for SMARD so we cant be 100% certain he isn’t a carrier.  To be a carrier the odds are 1 in 50,000 and then it’s a 1 in 4 chance the child will even have the disease. Now I know that has already happened… TWICE… but I feel we have done everything possible to protect this baby. To get them here safe and healthy. The reason we are testing the child after they are born is to first confirm they are SMARD free so that if the odds are in our favor and the baby is sick—we can get the proper help as soon as possible. The other reason is to test the baby to see if they are a carrier for SMARD so they know their risks when they grow and become a parent someday.

    3.  How are you when pregnant? Do you have good health usually or do you get really sick?

I got a little sick with Makenzie. I threw up only a handful of times (usually when I brushed my teeth) but for the most part I felt fine. I have no idea how this round will go but so far I cant complain. Other than today- I have been puking my guts out! Blah.

4. Do you color your hair or highlight/lowlight?

I wish I could have cute hair all the time. This totally made my day because I sure don’t feel like it. I have never been one to get my hair done all the time. I wish I could but I am to broke to do it. The last 3+ years the only time I have cut or colored my hair has been when I get a gift card from someone. This last time the amazing girl that does my hair put some bleach and caramel in as well as some big chunks of violet.  My hair doesn’t hold color very well (even when I have the most expensive hair care products) so the violet has turn more red.  The next time I do it I think ill do more blonde. Its better for grow out and I don’t have to color it as often. Even though I only get my hair done twice a year.

    5.  Question...did you get my email? I ordered some Baby Legs and want to send them to you to donate to PCMC but don't know if you want me to send them to you (you are still doing your little project, right?), or if I should take the to the hospital and donate them in MRW's name.

I think I responded to your email. If you didn’t get a response than no I didn’t get it. Sorry! But the answer is YES we are doing the leggings project. This year I want to surpass the last 2 years, which means we need over 2000 pairs of leggings! We NEED help. We NEED donations. If you want to sew the leggings yourself ill send you directions on how to do it or you can send me the leggings and ill do it! You can also buy already made leggings. They are everywhere. Babylegs.com, target, Wal-Mart, any baby boutique. If you have any questions about this project please let me know. I would love to collect 1000 by July and get them to the hospital then because they go through them SO FAST. They really are being used and loved and wanted!

     6.  I have a question that I have been dying to ask. It's about SMARD. I don't remember for sure, but I thought you said that both you and your husband are carriers of the gene. What are the chances of your baby having SMARD when you use donor sperm?

Ryan and I both tested positive as carriers for the SMARD mutation.  In order for the possibility of someone to have SMARD both parents need to be carriers.  We didn’t get the sperm donor tested but the odds of him being a carrier is 1 in 50,000. SUPER RARE.

       7.   Did they have you take clomid or anything like that to increase your changes of getting pregnant and if so, what is the chance of having multiples? Also, I'm nervous to ask you this because I don't want to seem insensitive and I know you don't care if it’s a boy or a girl, but what are your thoughts on the subject. Do you think one or the other will make you miss Makenzie more? Sorry, I know you will always miss her, but I was just curious.

I was not on Clomid or any medication to help me get pregnant. My doctor felt I didn’t need any extra help and thought I would get pregnant within the 3 vials. He was right! We had talked and if I was to order more vials and move onto vial 4, 5 and 6 he would have put me on Clomid.

I have thought about if a boy or if a girl would be harder. At first I said a girl. Then a boy. Now I honestly have no idea. I think because we knew we wanted this child so much and in order to get them here we went on a different route I have pretty much become numb to the thought of one or the other. I think if we have a girl, using some of Kenzie’s things will be really hard but I have already decided this baby or any baby will never wear any of the clothes Kenzie wore. They can wear clothes she never grew into but I don’t think I would be able to handle seeing another little love in something that was just hers. I honestly have no idea though. I hope I continue to see what an incredible blessing this bebe is and that every inch of them will have Makenzie in it and that is a GOOD thing. NOT a hard or bad thing. Hope that makes sense.

      8.  I have what might seem like an odd question and I hope it isn't rude, but what do you do with all of the stuff that you buy for Makenzie all the time? All the books and decorations and such. I think it is so beautiful that you continue to celebrate your daughter, but wondered about that.

I love getting Makenzie things here and there. It makes me feel like I can still DO something for her. With her books… I write the reason and date she got it. Like “Halloween 2010”. And it goes in her bookcase to be read by anyone.  For little toys I will either put them into the toy bin for others to play with or Ill put them in her dresser that is full of things that is JUST HERS.

      9.  If you end up having a girl, will you incorporate any part of Makenzie's name into this baby's name?

Ryan and I talked about this but I think we both have said no. Only because we are so obsessed with her name and keeping it her name. Down the road we might feel different but as of now I don’t think we will. I don’t even want their initials to be the same. MRW is definitely her.

      10.  Question: I know MRW is in Heaven because of SMARD, but will you take extra precaution against SIDS, like no bumpers or at least breathable ones, Angel care monitor etc.

This has been a big thing I have been doing some research on as well as quite a bit of other safety precautions.  Before Makenzie passed I knew of maybe 1 or 2 families that lost their child. Now—there are way to many. Seeing how easy it can happen. How the littlest thing you don’t even think about can take your child’s life! I have been doing a lot of research on SIDS, Child proofing your house, Vaccinations for both Ryan and myself and for the baby as well as lots of other things.  Now I know there really is only so much I can do. There is no way I can protect this child from everything, which totally gives me major anxiety, but it also humbles me to know God really does have his hand in everything.  I’m sure many of you know my sweet friend Kellie. She gave tons of great tips on SIDS safety on her blog and has also given me some other tips to make the room as safe as possible. She is amazing. I love her. We have some things we are for sure doing so far but I will keep you up to date what things we are going to do.

       11. Where did you grow up and how did you and Ryan meet and get engaged?

Ryan and I both grew up in Utah. We went to West High School together. We first met when I lived with my sister and brother in law. He lived down the street from them and we would see each other at church.  Ryan would make fun of my clothes so I hated him. We are 3 years apart so he was a senior and I was a freshman. We both remember each other and remember different occasions of running into one another but there was nothing between us then. After I graduated Ryan found me on MySpace (romantic right) and asked to hang out. For the next year we dated but it was nothing serious. Ryan popped the question out of the blue one day. August 27^th. His family had a little birthday party for me and his parents gave me a fishing pole and he gave me a tackle box.  Inside the tackle box was tons of fishing stuff and a little piece of paper. I open the paper and a ring falls out. He wrote a beautiful note asking me to be his wife. Everyone was staring at me. I couldn’t talk. I walked over to Ryan hugged him and he had to then ask if that was a yes J We decided to get married that November 16^th. What was so right about Ryan and I? We both came from such different backgrounds but we both came together knowing how important marriage is. That it’s not something to take lightly. We knew we would do everything to work together and to make “us” work. The first year wasn’t horrible but it was hard. The second year was really really HARD. But we worked hard together. There were times we both wondered if we make the right choice. Then came our little Makenzie. She changed our life more than we could have ever imagined. Her life. and her death. We knew we were a team and only we could get through this together. We were told so many times that the death of a child would make or break you. Let me tell you I can absolutely see how it could break you. It’s the most traumatic, horrible experience of your life and you now have to try and deal with all those emotions with someone else who most likely doesn’t feel the same things you do at the same times. But we survived. We are continuing to live. And we are doing it together.

Now that was a really long explanation as to how we met and got engaged. Sorry J

         12. My question for you is you going to find out the gender(s)? You going to still try and move?

Yes we will find out the gender of the baby. I think it would be fun to wait but I know I never could. I am far too anal to wait. I need to have everything done before they get here. And plus I’m just far too excited to wait longer.

We still want to sell our condo. It’s been on the market for over a year now. We were thinking of renting it out and making it somewhat of a property investment but I honestly would rather just sell it. We are just taking it one step at a time and we will see what happens. I hate the in between right now though.

Thank you all SO much for asking these questions. It was fun to do and I hope I answered them good enough. 

Love...