Tuesday, August 31, 2010

wish you well


went to bed last night feeling sick. i wasn't thinking of anything until i rolled over. and saw my wall of her. my wall of us. what used to be. what is now. missing. unbelievable amounts of missing flooded my heart. when it gets that intense, i shake. my whole body. i think every organ. its a strange feeling. my eyes got fuzzy. my heart pounded harder. what will i make of my life. what will i make of this future ill be living without her? a dear friend showed me this song months ago. i listen to is multiple times a day. i think of her. this song explains me. it explains that the biggest reason I'm so scared to live and to keep breathing is because i don't know how. she is was the start of my life. she taught me how do live.
now i don't know how to do it without her.

*wish you well by katie herzig*
I want to wish you well
I didn’t watch you go
Cause I suppose I don’t know how
I, I will remember you
Not the way you left but how you lived
And what you knew

I, I want to feel your hands
I want to feel your fire burning
Right from where I stand

I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want to know it’s you
When I hear your voice inside my head
Inside my room
I, want to touch the sky
I want to see the stars twinkle
Like they were your eyes

I’ll find my way
You showed me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how

I, I want to smell your scent
I want to breathe the air I did before
Before you left

I, I want to wish you well
The only reason my heart beats
Is cause you showed it how

I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
You show me
I’ll find my way
Cause you showed me how
You show me how
You showed me how


so glad i had her life. so glad i am her mom. just missing.

7 comments :

Shawna said...

Oh Kendra, I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. My heart aches for you. But it is good that you can still be happy that you had her. And it is wonderful that you have so many sweet pictures and so many memories to look at when you are missing her. I pray that you will continue to gain strength from those and that your ache, while it may never leave, will ease some.

Alerie said...

I'm so sorry!! I can't even imagine. I am always praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts!! Those pictures are beautiful!!

butterflymom said...

Thinking about you, my friend. I have also been having some really hard days as of late. Guess we're on this never-ending roller coaster called grief. Wish we both could get off sometime soon. Hugs to you.

TMI Tara said...

Glad you liked the lyrics and song. Definitely made me think of you.... like I do every day. ((HUGS))

brigette said...

What a beautiful song!! AHHHH brings me to tears. Sending much love your way.. I wish the miss didnt hurt so much... One day at a time right.. thats all the world can ask of us

Anonymous said...

Kenzie is so beautiful, so loved, so missed. Thanks for sharing her pictures with us. I love her and miss her, too. Auntie M

Ali said...

That was a really sweet song! I don't know that I have ever seen those pictures of Makenzie before...BEAUTIFUL!

So I am finally taking your challenge so check out my blog if you want to see my random daily pics.

Also thanks for your support of my business, you are SO sweet! I would absolutely love to do a party so let me know if you really want to do it and if so when. And I think we should schedule another movie night or at least a girls night or something. I had so much fun last time.

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