How it went down...

What a day yesterday was.
I totally got knocked up...
- well i hope, I'm thinking positive -
So if your anything like me you want to know the details. Especially with something that isn't all that common. So let me take you through the morning.

Sunday October 16th.
6:30 am: I woke up and took a long shower.  (I had to make sure that area was extra clean, a face was about to be eye to eye with it)
7:30 am: I jumped in the car and took off to meet my mom.
8:00 am: Picked up my mom and headed to the University.
8:30 am: Waited for our vial.
9:30 am: Finally got our vial that was suppose to be ready right at 8:30.
10:00 am: Got to my docs office with vial in tow. Since its was Sunday the office was closed so we had to have the on call doc perform this and he opened the office just for me.
10:15 am: Legs were propped up and the insemination was made.
10:16 am: Doc completed his job and told me to lay there for just a few minutes.
10:40 am: Doc said okay really time for you to leave.
10:41 am: Started counting the minutes until I can take a pregnancy test.

I'm sure your curious what this thing looked like.  It was much smaller than I thought. Don't ask what I was thinking :)...

So I wondered if this might hurt- I was told it would feel a lot like a pap smear.
As it turns out it didn't hurt at all. It wasn't even uncomfortable.  It was quick and painless.
I have to admit it was really weird cutting Ryan out of the process completely.
I mean... I might have just gotten pregnant with the Doc and my mom while Ryan was 5 hours away. Hmmm... Not exactly what I dreamed of when I thought of having kids. Oh well.

I was worried I would be uncomfortable or nervous or afraid to be laying there and thinking--- this other guys "stuff" is in me and getting me pregnant.  I talked to Ryan about this several times before Sunday and every time we talked about it I have been blow away at his attitude about the whole thing.  Not for one second does Ryan think of this other guys "stuff" as being anything other than a small part in bringing OUR child to us healthy.  This baby isn't that guys. Its OUR baby. This is Ryan's child.  This little person is meant to come to us. We are meant to raise them.

As I laid there on that table and his "stuff" was put in me I was consumed with thinking of what was actually happening. Thinking of the possibilities. Thinking of how badly we want this. Thinking of my husband. Thinking of Makenzie. It was then very clear that the child we conceive this way is 100% ours. Ryan and Kendra's. There is no doubting that. God has this little spirit all ready for US. For Ryan and Kendra. and in order for us to get them here healthy we needed assistance.  I prayed so so hard the whole time.  I stared at the same thing on the ceiling for what felt like hours but was really only minutes.  I just kept praying this would work and that this little baby would be healthy.  After the doctor left the room my mom and I didn't move. We didn't talk. It was a very peaceful 20ish minutes. I know we were both just praying. Praying this would be the answer to our prayers and that we would get our wish.
I was then overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude.  To have this opportunity. To live in this day of age where I can choose this.

I am so thankful for all the prayers and good thoughts that were sent our way.  We are so lucky to have so many new friends. So many people who don't personally know us but are praying for us. I could feel it as I laid there.  I am so thankful for all of you. I know this isn't the choice everyone would choose but the support we have received has been amazing.  

I still don't know if it worked and I'm pregnant.  I am trying not to get my hopes up to high.  I'm trying to be neutral about the whole thing and be realistic.  Getting pregnant isn't that easy.  If this is the right time it will happen. But it might not be the right time. God might ask us to wait longer. For whatever reason.
I'm trying to sit back and be patient. I'm trying to understand that everything will happen when it suppose to.  Because I'm so impatient I told myself I couldn't start testing until this next weekend.
I'm just holding a constant prayer in my heart!
but if it doesn't happen this time. Maybe it will next time.