A Little Visit

I find myself here all the time.

I end up here without really having a plan to go here.

There have been times I haven't even got out of the car. I just sit there. Parked. Looking at her spot. 

There are other times ill bring all my to-dos and spend the day under that tree. 

I miss her.

I miss being with her. 

Its not the same here.

But laying on that grass. Grabbing the medal plate. Molding my body around the ground.

Knowing she is there. For some reason. Helps. 

Those balloons have been kissed more times than I can count. I'm starting to wear down the finish. 

I know its just her body. But its still her body. Its what I held. Its what I loved. Its what I dream of.

I am thankful I have a place to go.

I am thankful this is not a "bad" place. Its more my safe place.

The midget has been asking about her. She makes me laugh. She is smart. She knows when we are at the store and she finds something she wants- she just has to say... "Lets get this for Kenzie" 

Then ill get it. Usually. We then take it to Kenzie. But the mini then gets to play with it.  She will still tell everyone its Kenzies but that Kenzie is sharing with her.

She knows all the tricks.

- did i ever mention i got this done last year? its not finished. tattoos hurt and i am a baby. 

someday ill get it finished. 

its almost 5 gerber daisy's for almost 5 months of life. 

god that is such a short amount of time -