Monday, September 26, 2011

Following the Journey

Whats been on my mind...
... I desperately need to get my hair done but there is no budget for that right now...
... I am so very happy fall is quickly approaching...
... I have started learning to sew, Its a scary sight but im learning ...
... My version of shopping lately has been online, I load up my shopping cart- stare at the items then delete them all. Keeps my bank account happy but my closet sad ...
... I have been working on Ryans anniversary gift for almost a month now, he better not forget :) ...
... I had to buy harley a sweater the other day because she is consistently freezing ...
... I want to go camping soooo bad, I love fall camping ...
... I cant wait to get this recipe book printed- seriously these recipes are to die for ...
... Its almost October! I.Cant.Wait.For.Halloween! ...

But all of that has really only been on my mind for a few seconds because my mind...
and Ryans,
 has been completely consumed with 1 thing.

... Ryan and I. Have decided. What the next step in our life will be. How to grow our family ...



After a lot of thought. 
lots of prayers.
lots of talking with family.
lots of talking with doctors.
lots of planning.
lots of research.
we have decided.
we are going to move forward with a sperm donor.

I am sure there will be about a million and 1 posts to come about this.
Documenting our journey.
To say this can happen quick is an understatement.
Like I could be pregnant by this time next month. 
Of course its not usually that easy to get pregnant so it could take a lot longer.
But we are keeping our fingers crossed.


How does this work?
Well I will still be working with my OB which is a blessing. I love him and his nurse so I couldn't imagine going with anyone else. He has been through everything with us so I am thankful he will be helping us with this as well.
The University of Utah will be storing and preparing the vials once we order them from the sperm bank we have chosen, which is located in California.  We have narrowed down our sperm donors to 2. One I like a little better and 1 Ryan likes a little better. We really like both so I know we will be happy either way.  We have been able to be extremely specific on how we choose the donor.  
Hair Color
Height
Ethnicity
Religion
Blood Type
Education level
etc
etc
etc....
Really its rather fascinating.
We can see their hobbies and interests. We could buy their baby pictures.
After we order our vials they are sent to the University here in Utah for prepping and storage.
Once my body is ready (When I am ovulating) I go pick up one of the vials and take it to my OB.

The whole process has been so foreign to me. I have never known anyone who has done this. When we first were told of this option after Makenzie was diagnosed Ryan and I both didn't think we would ever chose this. But like every other decision over the past 2 years... Life happens and things change.
What you think you would NEVER do... You may be faced with at any minute.
I challenge everyone to think twice before you judge or say "I would never do that"
You really never know. Not until you are faced with that something.

So what is going to happen next?
We have to get some papers signed then we will be making the purchase.

I hope that if anyone is ever faced with a decision like Ryan and I have been or if you are considering a sperm donor for whatever reason- we can maybe help you see if this is or is not for you.
I hope other parts of our journey has done the same for some people.  I know we have benefited from other blogs and others stories.  Sometimes the knowing is what makes all the difference. Whether its good or bad.  Whether its knowing how bad it could be or knowing how good it could be. 
There will always still be the unknown. But at least part of the path isn't as dark.

49 comments :

Anonymous said...

Good for you guys! If I've learned one thing in life its that you can't live it for anyone but yourself. If this decision makes you and your hubby happy, then screw what the haters say. It's you and Ryan at the end of the day, do what works best for you guys. I'm sending good happy vibes your way! Congrats!

Preston and Keri said...

I think it's great!!! If you and your husband feel good about it then that's all that matters. I can't imagine not being able to carry a child and I LOVE being pregnant so I totally can see where you're coming from!!
I am excited and happy to be able to follow your journey.
Good luck and I'll pray that it happens fast for you!
Oh, and tell your hubby that a stranger thinks that he is amazing for his decision!

Anonymous said...

Life is so full of unknowns, decisions, disappointments, and sometimes sorrow. But it can also be filled with joy, happiness, contentment, love, and peace. I pray things work out for you and Ryan. The only thing all of us should be is to be excited, happy and supportive of your decision. I love you guys. Love, Aunt Mary

Anonymous said...

I`m ecstatic for you both. I`ll keep you in my prayers. You`ll never regret this decision.

bibc said...

oh honey best of luck! IUI was never expected to work for me because i only have one tube and the other one is all twisted up. i had 3 anyway. please let me know if you have ANY questions about the procedures. i'd love to be able to give you some kind of comfort or at least help you to breathe easier. i have to say that i have found huge support on twitter, surprisingly enough. i tweeted last year about MRW's leggings drive. its nice because you can connect with people who have been through or are going through the same things, and its more of a instant gratification than writing a blog post and waiting for a response, and its easier to have a conversation. if you choose to join, my name is @LeLeIsMe. i have a very good friend who had to terminate at 16 weeks due to a condition that wasn't compatible with life. this
is her blog. i am hoping so hard for you guys, ive been following along mostly quietly for some time now and always hope and wish for peace and happiness for your family.
xoxo
lis

bibc said...

that should say, i only have one tube and THAT ONE is all twisted up
i'd kill for a normal tube :)

The Jeffcoats said...

Good for you guys! I just started following your story and I'm speechless. I have so much respect for you and your husband. I know that your sweet baby girl is looking down and she's so proud of her mommy and daddy for going forward with this decision. Good luck to you guys and you'll be in my prayers! I look forward to reading what's in store for you!

The Gustafson Family said...

Congratulations on making a decision on how to grow your family. I am praying for a baby in your arms as quickly as possible!

Our Family of Three said...

Congratulations! I look forward to hearing your journey through it all! And that is super neat that you can pick from sooo many little details. Good luck with everything!

The Call's said...

Congrats! What an amazing step for the two of you. It really only matters what you guys think is best for your family. As always you guys will be in my prayers! Thank you for sharing!

Mireya Garcia said...

Gosh how amazing..ur gonna be able to carry that sweet baby...tears in my eyes for u 2! I know God is getting everything prepared for u 2, him and ur lil' Kenzie are picking out the right lil' baby to give to you! I know he WON'T disappoint you guys! Gosh...I hope it happens so badly for u! Tonite me n my Lil' man will have you guys in our prayers!! Can't wait to follow you lovebirds on this journey!! Sending ALL our love and prayers ur way! :)

Tracy said...

Kendra! I am so happy for you guys! It's amazing what you learn throughout the whole process of "trying to get pregnant" but not being able to get pregnant realistically the natural way, isn't it. Sperm donor was brought to our attention when we were trying to conceive as well, but I mentioned before we decided to try the ivf route instead first. The U of U is where we went also, and they were awesome, even though you said you'll ultimitely end up with your OB still. It's so true that you don't know what option you will chose until you are faced with having those as your only options. You guys are such a strong couple and I am so excited for you to move forward with this new journey you're about to have! You two are amazing parents!
nandtandbandb.blogspot

The Saville Family said...

That sounds wonderful! I'm so glad you and Ryan found what you feel is the right choice for your family. Some decisions can be so difficult to make but when you find the right one it's so refreshing. I'm so very very happy for you both and I'm be praying that all goes well and this time next year your cuddling a new baby. Thank you for sharing your trials. I always love reading your blog and seeing how you are doing. If you are unaware who I am, my little boy Gabriel Died 4 days before Ashley & Patrick's Preslee. Ashley has been a huge source of inspiration for me and she introduced me to you almost a year ago and I've been following your family ever since. Thank You!

I'm so excited for you!!

{owens} said...

hi kendra, it's ashley owens.. not sure if you remember me, but i just HAD to comment on this post. we had trouble getting pregnant and the things we NEVER thought we would have to consider (like ivf, adoption, being childless) we had to face too. i think it is so inspiring (but hard too) for a couple to deal with these things. i totally know where you're coming from on this post.. and i'm sure no one will judge your decision to get to carry another baby into this world. we also have explored adoption and we feel we may still pursue that avenue later. it's all so hard, but isn't it just amazing when you, as a couple, finally decide what is best for you.. it's empowering. i wish you all the best and hope you get pregnant real soon.. you SO deserve to hold another sweet little spirit. my prayers are with you daily, and i never forget you. you inspire me..when times get hard. keep you chin up.. and thoughts to kenzie rye.

Jackie Koll said...

So happy that you made the choice that is right for you! I think it is amazing. I had dear friends have their babies through a surroagate because she was unable to carry any babies - everyone has to do what is right for their families. Such a true blessing and I know you will teach all of us so many things through this amazing journey :-)

Seth + Carlie said...

I am so excited for you two! I just started following your blog, and I have really enjoyed reading it. You two make great parents!

Jennifer Paige said...

Best of luck to you guys! I will be hoping and praying that you guys are blessed with another beautiful baby. I know their big sister will always watch over them <3

Lovemylinz said...

I am so happy for you guys! I'm glad you have decided on what your journey will be like. It is for only you and Ryan to decided, it's your life. I hope and pray that no one tries to make either one of you feel bad for what is best for the two of you. I will be praying that you have a little blessing to report about soon!

AJ and Cindy said...

I am so excited for you guys! It sounds like you are well educated and know what your want! :) I can't wait to follow you on your journey of pregnancy when that happens. Love you lots and thinking and praying for you! :)

S and P said...

Congrats!! We are going to use a sperm donor to expand our family. Our first child came to us through adoption which is a huge blessing but very costly. Hope it works quickly for you. Hang in there Kendra. A good book for knowing your fertility signs is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." That book really helps you focus on when you ovulate so that you have the highest chance of conceiving.

Anonymous said...

I am the baby of a sperm donor! So happy for you guys and can't wait to find out when your actually pregnant....what an exciting time for you both!!!! Congratulations and fingers crossed for the future!!!

ASHLEY ELDER said...

So excited that you guys have made a decision and can now move forward to make it happen. I hope and pray that you are blessed very soon with a beautiful younger sibling for Makenzie!

Molly said...

I am so happy for you guys! I got pregnant with my second daughter using iui and are now trying for our third child with iui. If you ever want to chat my email is plainolmolly@hotmail.com I wish you guys the best of luck and will continue to pray for your sweet family.

Joe and Kirstin said...

I'm sure this is so exciting for you! It sounds like you both have made the right decision. I know someone who had a sperm donor baby and with all the specifics you would never know that it wasn't his sperm, and that baby is sure spoiled like I'm sure your's will be as well! I hope it moves fast for you both, that will be so exciting to have a new baby in the house!

Chantel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lea and her Mustangs said...

Oh Kendra, the Great Grandma is excited for you and praying for an easy pregnancy and life becoming a joy for you.

Rose said...

That is such good news! I am so excited for you guys! I wish you the best and hope that all goes well! You can feel the joy in your post as I read that. You can tell that it is the right decision.

Thank you for what you said about not judging and thinking twice before saying "I would never do that". It was a good reminder to be open minded!

Can't wait to hear about when this baby or babies!!! wink wink...there is always the chance of more than one...Yeah!!!

Have a GREAT day!

Melissa said...

I am so happy for you 2,i cried reading those words,i can't wait to read read and read more about it,it's going to be an amazing journey,you guys are making a good desicion and maybe in the future do it again with an egg donor :),botton line,you guys deserve to have the family of your dreams and I wish God is on your side and everything work for you!
I will deff buy the cooking book when it comes out !!! Best wishes ...

Toni said...

I think this is amazing and one of the best blessings when families are faced with unknowns. I am so excited to see in what direction you are moving forward, it’s wonderful news and I have been hoping to find out soon. I have had to do the journey of IVF so I know a little of what you’re going to go through, I'm thrilled and can’t wait to read and follow your journey. How exciting! Congrats.

Toni said...

I also wanted to send you this quote, I found it while thinking of my son that passed way almost 2 years ago, and I thought it was perfect for you:

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you."
~ Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)

Kristen said...

Ahhhh Kendra! I can tell by the tone of your post that you have come to the right decision. I can feel your excitement and your hope. I am so totally thrilled for you guys! I can't wait to start seeing some baby bump pictures. I know that it could take a while so I too will be praying for a quick and of course healthy outcome!
All my best,
Kristen

caitlin and brinton said...

Kendra, Congratulations on this huge decision! It sounds amazing and I hope it goes quickly and wonderfully for you! I miss and love you.

wellitsme said...

Hi,

The family of sweet little Brynlee Liston chose to go this route for their baby #2. Unfortunately the recently lost gorgeous little Brynlee through her SMA fight. I dunno if you know them or have talked to them, but they may be able to discuss their process with you for the second daughter Nakota.
http://brynleeliston.blogspot.com/

They haven't updated since Brynlee went to glory but maybe you can find a way to contact them.

I pray this goes well for you guys. I know you both will love this baby as if it is both of yours. I still pray one day you can be blessed with a 100% bio baby that is healthy. I hope that doesn't bother you for me to say this.

Erin said...

I'm so happy you guys have made this decision. I don't know you guys but I can see how much you want to be parents again. I stumbled across your blog and am so inspired by you. Please hang in there and keep us posted!! Will be praying for a pregnancy and healthy baby for you soon. Take care!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that my husband and I used a sperm donor for our rainbow baby. Our second child passed away from a rare genetic disease and this choice made the most sense for us. It only took 3 cycles and our new healthy baby just turned 1 two weeks ago. We just tell people he was made with extra love. Much luck to you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Kendra! I am so excited for you guys that you've made your decision! Your new addition will be perfect for your family. I have donor egg babies and they are mine in every way but for 23 chromosomes. I think I love them even more because of all we had to go through to have them. So happy for you.
Xoxo
OcGal

Natalie Ross said...

I think this is wonderful! I will be praying for you and your baby to be! Congrats. =)
Love,
Natalie

macros said...

Congrats and good luck! I've been following your blog for awhile now. So happy for you guys! Sending best wishes and prayers your way!

Shawna said...

I am so glad you made I decision you both feel is right and so excited to hear about you expanding your family when that finally happens. I continue to pray for you and Ryan and will pray that this process goes well for you and soon you will have that healthy, happy addition to your family that you so desire.

john + becky said...

This is just great and I am so happy for you two. I can't wait to keep reading about your journey of having another baby.

GOOD LUCK!!

Anonymous said...

I can't remember my password, or I wouldn't be anon. I read your blog all the time, linked from the Sullengers. and I say HOORAY! I think a lot more people make this choice then is known, especially in Utah. When I read about your precious baby's SMA and that the two of you must have the gene to pass, it is the easiest, cheapest and fastest choice.

I hope this works quickly!

jessica

Kellie Staats said...

YAY!!!!!!!! I am squealing with excitement for you! That is amazing that you get to know all that stuff about the donor..how cool!!!!!
Any choice that yall made was going to be the RIGHT choice! Its YOUR life!!!!

I am so stinking happy for yall!!!

mrslill said...

Congratulations you guys!! I am so happy for you and hope everything goes as smoothly as possible!! You deserve it so much!!

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for a while now. This post makes me smile! So happy for you guys! :) Seems like you are finding peace and happiness! I love it!

-Brandi

Anonymous said...

You don't know me , but I found your blog through the Staat's blog. My husband and I had a very difficult time trying to get pregnant and decided to go with an egg donor . We now have a beautiful daughther that everyone says looks exactly like me and her sister. No one would even believe that she is not mine. It never even crosses my mind. You will be so pleased with your decision. I will keep following you and wish you nothing but luck.

Alesha said...

How exciting! Totally something I considered, but the hubs and I weren't on the same page. ;)Plus we still dont even know what we are dealing with here...urgh! That is so great you came to a decision, and you will be able to carry the baby. I think that time is amazing bonding time! Good luck!

Chris said...

Good for you!! Good luck!!

Esther said...

This is SO exciting!!

Kaci said...

OKAY now I get it! It's really interesting... I never thought of that option for us, and nobody ever even mentioned it... I guess for us it would be the other way around, since I'M the one carrying the disease. As of now we are looking into IVF.. they would do genetic testing on all the embryos and then only transfer an un-affected embryo so we could have a healthy baby. I'm still trying to decide if I want to go for 2 (twins) or just transfer 1 and then do the whole process again in a couple years if we want another baby. Good thing is, you don't have to pay for all of it again the 2nd time. Anyway...lots to know. Good luck and glad you guys know what you want!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails