Monday, May 21, 2012

23 Weeks





How far along? 23 Weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes.
Stretch marks? No.
Best moment this week: Feeling him move around so much.
Miss Anything? Feeling like a normal person and not so crazy.
Movement: He moves a lot when I am laying down but not so much when I am up. 
Food Cravings: This week I have been craving corn dogs and sonic cherry limeade drinks. I have yet to indulge in either craving.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I have been feeling a little off the last few days but not sure whats causing it.
Gender: BOY! 
Labor Signs: Still having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. but no real labor signs. thank God.
Symptoms: My back is still hurting, my emotions are out of control and it hurts to move.
Belly Button in or out? How is my button starting to stick out already? Oh for heaven sakes.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Over the top emotional.
Looking forward to: Doctors appointment this week. Cant wait to hear his heartbeat and be reassured everything is going good.




This week has been a bit of a hard one. Emotionally and physically. My back has been hurting my stomach has been aching and the tears have only stopped on a few rare occasions. I am so thankful to be pregnant. I am so thankful to have this chance to have a child come into our life and I am honored to be able to carry him myself. I know how great of a blessing this is and I am not taking it for granted. but this round of pregnancy has been a whole different story than it was with Makenzie. I remember having aches and pains. I remember being emotional. I remember the mood swings. but it was nothing like it is now. I am not sure if its different because this is a boy or maybe because of Makenzie or a combination of everything. I am so exhausted. All those books say your energy should be back in the second trimester and I am just a few weeks away from the third and have yet to get that energy back. I could sleep all day and night if my body would allow but this body can’t be in any one place for too long. My back feels like I am carrying a million extra pounds. My stomach is constantly aching. I can’t even have my shirt rest against it without it throbbing. I feel like my boobs are going to blow up any second. I don't fit into much of anything in regards to bras and tank tops. I would go buy new ones but I don't really feel like spending that much money on comfort for only a couple more weeks. I feel horrible consistently complaining to Ryan. He is so sweet and tries to understand but I know he is having a hard time understanding. When I was pregnant with Makenzie I didn't have so many "issues" I was working more than 40 hours a week, going to school full time and still managed to keep my house under control. I am not even doing half of that this time and cant seem to muster up any ounce of energy or desire to take the trash out. On a daily basis I find myself in the fetal position on the floor crying because I simply cant imagine getting up to make dinner. I get so upset with myself and that just makes it all much worse. I hate reading all those pregnancy books because I never feel like I am on the same page. I feel like I am too big or don't feel the right things or I am not doing enough. and it doesn't really help talking to others. Usually because it’s hard to relate. I know this is all sounding like I am one big whiner but this is real and this is where I am at now. I want to remember all of this for the future. I hope I start feeling better. I think I will. and if this ever happens again. If I am ever pregnant again I can look back and see that this will end and its just part of the crazy journey of pregnancy. 




12 comments:

Rafahi Family said...

Oh Kendra, I am sorry you are having a tough time. I am sure you have heard that every pregnancy is different and every woman is different. I get how you are feeling! I am pregnant with my 4th child and I am exhausted. I have never been this tired. My house looks like a tornado hit it, I am not motivated to cook dinner for my family and I have to drag myself out to go to work for my 20 hr a week part time job. The job is the only part that seems to be easier for me to do--only because I work to keep medical going for my family!
Have you asked your doctor about taking any extra vitamins to help with your energy? I would ask...I could recommend you taking something, but your doctor should be the one you listen to right now.
Good luck....I will be keeping you and your little man T in my prayers!

Ashley Sullenger said...

It's the mix of grief. Maybe because you're carrying a boy as well, but my pregnancy was soo much harder with Ledge than it was with Pres. I was a wreck. Hang in there, I think about you so much. I hope it starts getting easier for you.

Carolina said...

I understand you completely. I had a rough pregnancy too. I was deathly sick those first 15 weeks, then when everyone said it got better on the second trimester, it really didn't by much. I had no energy, I had sciatica, every ache and pain you can imagine.. I could barely walk. But don't worry, you're more than halfway done! Yay!

Marion said...

You can do it! I'm 30 weeks with my second and this is just not the same as the first pregnancy. But if I could say anything to spend money on....bras that fit change your outlook on life!

Marion said...

You can do it. I'm 30 weeks with my second and this is just not the same as the first pregnancy! If I could offer any advice on things to spend money on, bras that fit can change your outlook on life! Especially when you have 17 weeks left :)

Louise said...

It's all normal but when you are going through it it will feel like it never ends keep an eye on the feelings if you think you are feeling worse or not feeling any better soon mention it to your doctor. I was the same don't worry you will be fine! I promise! I thought it would never end and id never feel like 'me' again but you will! Try to distract yourself when you get very upset it will take your mind off things! I think part of the problem is you aren't doing as much and you have time to think more when you're very busy you don't have a minute to stop and think that's what I found. I was off with my first and worked on my second a d I had more time to worry and think and it is hard!! You will be just fine! Don't worry! Drop me an email if you like I know what you're going through I had a rough time on my first keep smiling

Louise
Dropping over from Kelly's kroner x

Blogger25 said...

Oh I loved being pregnant..well, except for the first trimester, of course LOL. I'm so excited to see what this amazing little boy looks like. You look amazingly beautiful, btw! :)

Chelsey said...

THANKS FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENT ON MY PAGE! IT'S NICE HEARING FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS I DO WITH LOSING A CHILD. YOUR SWEET LITTLE MAKENZIE IS A DOLL!! I WAS SO SAD TO READ ABOUT HER STORY! WHAT STRONG PARENTS SHE HAS AND HOW PROUD SHE MUST BE! CONGRATS ON BABY #3!!! SO EXCITING, MINUS THE PAIN THAT COMES WITH PREGNANCY! AND UNFORTUNATLY ALL PREGS. ARE DIFFERENT, SO DON'T JUDGE YOURSELF! I'M SURE YOUR SWEET ANGEL BABY WILL CARRY YOU THRU~! HANG IN THERE! AND YOU LOOK GREAT FOR 23 WEEKS!!

Nevaeh's Mommy said...

I'm praying you have a better week. I'm certain it must be tough with emotions and missing kenzie. Hang in there sister!

kmk said...

HI Kendra! I have some stuff I would love to send you is there anyway to get your address or get it to you? I know your a busy girl but I think it would help you with the pregnancy emotions!! You look so darling!
Krishel

Mary Jane Ven said...

I have started reading your blog and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. MaKenzie is so beautiful. I am so sorry if this will offend you but the one question that keeps coming to my mind is--what made you decide to pull life support? What if the doctors were wrong and Makenzie could have lived a long life,although paralyzed and trached? Did you just not want to see her go through that pain?

Shannon said...

You know what, Mary Jane? I realize you said you don't mean to offend...but are you KIDDING?! did you SERIOUSLY just ask that question to this woman who is struggling so much right now? Did you think at all before you typed that? I'm sorry if my post is upsetting either of you, but My jaw dropped when I read that, and I just HAD to tell you that I think you're completely out of line to ask that question - especially after a post that clearly states she's having a hard time emotionally. I know if I had have waited a day my post wouldn't be so long or harsh, but it pisses me off that people don't use their heads.

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