So let me tell you about our special LOVE day... We both worked. I got home around 6:30ish and Ryan was busy making dinner. STEAK. That's right people pretty much my most favorite thing in the world. We gobbled up the deliciousness and then cuddled on the couch while watching tv. We got some special visitors who dropped of some treats which turned into our dessert. Oh how sweet they are. After they left I didn't feel so well. I kept telling Ryan was going to cry if I threw up that dinner because it was so good. I decided to get in the bath to see if that helped. Apparently that just boiled the food in my tummy helping the projectile vomit be all that more powerful. Do you know whats worse than throwing up a super yummy valentines dinner? Having to then clean it up after because you didn't get to the toilet in time. Oh joy! So I cried. Ryan laughed. He gave me a lime Popsicle which I have learned calms my tummy. and we fell asleep.
It was somewhat romantic. Ended in misery.
But really nothing is better than any amount of time with the husband.
Happy Valentines to Everyone!
PS. Its been a day and of course my mind is a little clearer. I re-read my 8 week post and wanted to make sure what I said didn't come out wrong. I tend to do that. My words get jumbled and they come out being everything I didn't want to say. Anyway. Ryan and I have absolutely no doubts if we made the right choice using a sperm donor. This was the way we felt was best and the right way for us to get a SMARD free child here. I am thankful for our donor. I am thankful that for whatever reason he choose to become one. It is because of him that I am puking my guts out and honestly loving almost every second of it. I am thankful to have even had this option. I am nervous about telling this baby down the road but like so many of you reminded me--- a sperm donor is just that. ANYONE can be a sperm donor. But its someone special that actually makes a Father. Ryan has already proven this. The amount of love he has for this baby is more than I could ever dream. I shouldn't ever worry because that is all that matters. I will tell you right now I believe that with my whole heart. He is ours. I do hope this baby looks like Ryan. Some of my favorite features with Makenzie were the ones she got from Ryan. She was the perfect blend. and this baby may not be Ryan's biologically but in the big picture, the biological stuff just doesn't matter. This child was created for us. For Ryan and I. They were going to be ours no matter what. I have so many fears for this little life...
but I don't fear if this child will be loved.
I don't fear if they will be wanted.
I don't fear if they will be given a life they deserve.
Thanks again friends for helping me see what is real and what is just my mind being silly.