How far along? 8 Weeks
Total weight gain: None.
Maternity clothes? None.
Stretch marks? Nope.
Sleep: I wish I could sleep all day and night. I am exhausted.
Best moment this week: Making it a total of 4 days without puking. That is all a distant memory now.
Miss Anything? Not puking. Being able to keep food down.
Food cravings: Pretty much changes from second to second. No cravings just what doesn't make me instantly run to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Everything. Even things that are not food. The thought of glass cups the other day almost made me lose it. I can only drink out of hard plastic cups.
Gender: For some reason Ryan is all the sudden thinking GIRL. Where did that come from?! I think its because he really really wants a boy so he is preparing himself for a GIRL. I am 100% certain its a boy. I just have a strong feeling. I will probably throw up in excitement if it turns out to be a GIRL.
Labor Signs: None.
Symptoms: My belly has started to protrude. Its scaring me considering I'm only 8ish weeks. Literally there is a belly. and my boobs hurt worse than they ever did when I had a child latched on day and night. Seriously I am in pain people. Oh and did I mention I'm sick and puke a lot.
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: The uncontrollable MOOD SWINGS have kicked on to an all time high. Happy- Sad- Angry- Uncomfortable- Lonely- Overwhelmed- Annoyed... poor poor Ryan. He is looking for somewhere to crash for the next 7 months. Its not looking good.
Looking forward to: Getting past the first trimester in hopes the sickness will ease.
Like I said... I am an emotional mess. So over the moon happy this baby is coming and is ours forever to absolute hysterics because all I really want is Makenzie. I am then hysterical apologizing to this baby for not showing them the love the deserve and that I really do want them and that I just miss their sister. This past week the emotions of this child being from a sperm donor has been extremely emotional. I think I have mentioned this before but Ryan has always been so confident and positive about this. Knowing this child is HIS. No ifs ands or buts. He has been so good about it and honestly going through all the IUI's and getting pregnant so was I. I have felt so good about it all. Knowing this was the right choice. Over the past week its not that I regret our choices because I absolutely don't. This child was so meant to come to us this way and this was the only way we could get them to us healthy. but the feelings of how will we tell them and when will we tell them? The thoughts of how will we do this again? The fear that maybe at some point Ryan will have some concerns or worries. Its been weird talking about what this baby might look like. I keep catching myself from saying things like-- Oh I pray he has your nose or butt or hair color... Whatever it might be. I fully believe this child will be a mini replica of Ryan (if its a boy). I can only imagine Ryan's little partner. There is no doubt about that. But the fear in the back of my mind is oozing out with my added pregnancy hormones. It gets exhausting and overwhelming. I would love to hear from anyone of you that might have used a sperm or even an egg donor. Did you ever have similar fears or concerns. How have you decided and when to tell your child? I don't want it to be a big deal because its not. Its very simple. Its very matter of fact. There is no other Daddy somewhere- Ryan will be the name on that birth certificate. I just don't want it to be something that later down the road when it does come out that they feel I was hiding something from them. I have been very open about it with friends and family and its now all over the internet. Never have I thought it would be a secret. I know I have a lot of time to think about this but its on my mind now. So if y'all have advice. I would so much appreciate it!