yes it was me that enrolled in tracking your baby's progress.
yes it was me that subscribed to endless amounts of baby magazines.
yes i did all that around this time last year.
but since December i have made it a point to cancel subscriptions, cancel enrollments and block certain emails from coming through. if i get anything in the mail i don't look twice and throw it away. i have it down, what days those dumb things come and i immediately stop at the first trash can i find on my way home and throw that crap away.
well--- i was going through my emails last night.
clicking through the dumb advertisements when this amazing email popped up.
first- its not my baby's first freaking birthday for another 2.5 months!
second- thanks for congratulating me on raising my little one and giving her good nutrition.
third- she didn't drink enfamil.
sooo... thanks for the reminder. thanks for the warm fuzzy feeling i now cant shake. thanks for the cute little picture of the baby and thanks for the coupon.
it will be put to great use.
8 comments :
Kendra, I am so sorry these things keep coming up. I know you don't need 'reminders' to think of Kenzie, to miss her, but I can only imagine how these types of things make it that much harder at the time. This post made my cry, I wish she was in your arms, but know you ARE planning her the most amazing bday party, celebrating her incredible life and all she has taught, and is teaching. I know it isn't the same but she is so proud of you-this isnt' easy to do in your grief but you are, for her and all the other little angels out there! I wish...well, in general that SMA in any form didn't exist...a cure WILL be found!! Love and hugs...Em
:(
Kendra I am so sorry. Even though I know it won't take your pain and hurt away, I wish I could give you a big hug. I wish there was a way for things like this not to happen, because it is not like you need another reminder. Always thinking of you!! Much love!!
I'm sorry you are still getting things from Enfamil, that would be so hard. One of my friends that lost a baby at birth said that when her breast milk came in, it was like a double slap in the face, because it was physically painful to have the milk trapped in, but even worse was a constant physical reminder for her about the huge emotional pain of missing her baby.
That would be so hard to be surrounded with baby things, but even more difficult to receive emails or info for Makenzie.
I know she's growing, and playing, and thriving, but I also know that's not a consolation for you to read since you'd rather have her here.
I wish so much that you could have raised her in this life too! I pray you can feel her little arms around you, and that she can be your guardian angel. The relationship you have with your daughter is incredible!
I have found your blog threw a friend of mine... I hurt for you when I read this. I can't imagine the pain that your going threw. At one point in my life I worked for a Photo place and I was the head of the department that took care of rushing photo's of deceased children... we had set up a general registry so that you would never get anything from us again in regards to our services and that if you didn't want to phsycally talk to anybody and just wanted to place an order for more photos that we tried to make it as easy and painless as possibal. You would think if a photo place could think of a general registry that a multi billion dollar corporation like enfamil could find a way to get it together. So sorry you even had to get this email.
Vanessa
Hi Kendra,
When I first read your post today, I was immediately sad for you. So sad to think not just about this email, but all the future moments that will come up where you will have to say to yourself, Kenzie is gone. Im so sorry.
Then, I got to thinking and I totally change my mind. Im glad that Enfamil sent this to you. They are a huge company, right? With lots of money, right? That has the ability to donate, right? Well what if you (or I would be honored to do it in your name, if you like) tell them what happened to you today. That you opened your email and received their congratulations, but will never be able to celebrate this milestone. You instead were devistated by their email. Reminded of your beautiful daugher that is not here. Becauase of SMARD, you were robbed of this celebration. Ask them to donate to Kenzies Baby Leggings project, Live, Laugh, Breathe Event, The Gwendolyn Strong Foundation or something in place of this email. Ask them for something worthy of your sweet princess' birthday.
Let me know if you want help. I know you are such a busy girl! :)
Love and kisses from CA!!
Julie
I can understand how you feel...6 months after my daughter passed away I received a letter inviting her and I to kindergarten orientation. My goodness... the school knew me and my family (my other children went there), how could they let this one slip by them? It was tough. I knew that orientation was coming up, I knew that my friends and their children would be there,the one thing I didn't want to know was when it would be and here I was with the invitation in hand. I'm sorry you had that happen.
oh gosh. i am so sorry!! i didn't even think of that. hang in there!!!
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