I wish I would have worked harder on making this Christmas more about Jesus Christ and less about the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I can always learn. I can always strive to be better. There is so much going on everyday that its essential to take time out for the reason behind who we are.
I think about Mary all the time. I think about what she must have thought as she held her son. Watched her son live. Grow. and become the man he was. I cant imagine standing aside. Wanting to take away your child's pain. Wanting to do whatever you can to just make things different. Did she know what his purpose was? Did she feel God answered her prayers and heard everyone? Did she ever have fears?
In no way am I comparing my life to that of Mary or Jesus Christ. But no matter the struggle. No matter how big or small. I wonder if we all end up in the same place at one time or another. Wishing for answers, begging for prayers, hoping our Heavenly Father really knows us. Knows what is in our heart and will really answer us in his time. As angry as I have been getting with God and Jesus lately. I have to keep stepping back and remember that all the chaos of life, the frustrations and fears, the anger and hate. Isn't from them. They have not left. They are here. They know me. They are holding my Makenzie and telling me over and over that they know my path and I need to have faith in them.
It wasn't until Christmas was over that I calmed down and made myself remember this.
That I prayed to God. Telling him that he knows my wishes, he knows my heart and he knows what I am longing for. But that I am now going to wait. Wait for his timeline. Wait for his plan. It will come. Whether that means I will have the pleasure of being a Mom here on earth again or maybe I wont be.
The details of money, school, jobs, friends, relationships, cars, living arrangements, vacations... Can all be important to each of us. They can mean a lot. To a great degree we are in charge of our future. What will happen. But there comes a point that we find ourselves on a road we didn't put ourselves on. Someday we will understand why we are meant to walk this road.
But its meant for us. God has a reason and a purpose. No matter how hard things can be, he has made it so we can always get down on our knees and pray. Ask for help. and he will be there. In someway. and no matter how we might waver in life, Jesus Christ has made a way for us be whole. Be perfect and come home with a pure pure heart. To live forever with them.
In our home... We are striving to remember these things everyday. We are remembering the good. We are seeing hope. We are feeling love. We celebrated our Saviors birthday in the best way we know how. With each other, with family and with our Makenzie.
Our 2011 ornaments for Ryan, Kendra, Makenzie, Harley and our angel Gracie.
Makenzie's Purple and Pink Christmas Tree
Christmas Morning
with kids is always much better than just Ryan and I. We get a little bored watching each other open gifts we picked out ourselves :) So we headed over to my sisters for the second year to watch her adorable kids go nuts.
We hurried home to open our gifts to each other and get over to Ryan's parents for breakfast.
*yes, ryans gifts are all in camo paper and he had to open them with a knife... can you say WT*
Going from my family where there is a million of us, its always fun to go to Ryans family where things are much more mellow. but then again. That little A has more energy and a bigger personality than 5 kids put together. and with the newest addition joining us this year, it was still a very eventful day.
We were able to help 5 families this year for Christmas. Several of our family and friends came together to help collect items and wrap everything so they can wake up to something on Christmas. I thought about those families all day on Christmas hoping they had an amazing day. We also collected items to donate to our local homeless shelter. It was so nice to see the faces of those families being able to get things they need, things we all take for granted--- like socks! and be overjoyed with it all. I am so thankful for everything in our lives and for all the blessings we continue to receive. I hope and pray everyone had an amazing Christmas and was able to find peace.
6 comments :
LOVE, as usual! :)
Hi Kendra, its your old grannie lurker again. I have a scripture that I want you to read and carry it around with you, believing it. I have a story about it but will only tell you if you want to hear it. It is Jeremiah 14 and l5 I think - It says "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope" If you want to know the miraacles from that verse that I personally know e mail me leawilliams65@yahoo.com. If its too scarey for you to do that its OK. It is what I am praying that scripture for you every day. Lea
Cute tree for Makenzie. Looks like you had a beautiful Christmas considering.
You do such wonderful things Kendra -- between your trees and decorations and help for needy families, I am always amazed at what you get done. This is a wonderful post with a great message -- thanks, as always, for sharing. I am glad you were able to have some time to reflect, pray, and find a little bit of peace. You are so right about His timing, no matter what the situation. It is just so hard to remember that sometimes.
Were those cookies from Cutlers?? I love the Chocolate ones with mint! I love what you did for those 5 families and what you do each year to help others out.. You are one amazing person and hope to meet you and Ryan one day! Well I need to get my twins to nap... Thank you for all you do!!!
Kendra you are so pretty! I loved that you put pics up of yourself too. Your angel tree is beautiful, and im glad you had a good Christmas! Your amazing for helping so many families in need!
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