Love

I cant get enough of this little boy. I never ever imagined being able to love this much again. 

He is such an incredible light. I battle with myself everyday trying to not spoil him by holding and kissing him every second of the day. I try not to run and pick him up every peep he makes. but that usually doesn't happen. I was going to start babywise with him like we did with Makenzie. It worked great with her. She was sleeping through the night by now. but I am such a sucker for this face. and when he crys. Oh I'm mush. I cant take it. Then I start thinking--- what if he never sleeps through the night--- but honestly I don't care. I want to do whats best for him and I know at some point he NEEDS to get a good nights rest... but for now- He can get up whenever he wants. I can sleep when he is grown and out of the house. Which I know will come wayy to fast. I cant believe we are already almost at month 2. This is the time we started to notice problems with Makenzie. My anxiety is a little out of control. You would laugh how many times I am googling some "symptom" I think he has during the day. Seriously a few times a day at least. I watch him and analyze everything he does. I am so afraid of losing him. I know I cant control what is to come and that's what scares me. I am soaking up every moment with him. I don't take any middle of the night feeding or middle of the day scream for granted. I am so thankful and so blessed to share every second of my life with him. I just pray I can keep him longer than his sister. Oh how I pray... 

He is my entire world. I am the luckiest Mum to call him mine.

Every night as I kiss him good night I thank him for choosing me to be his Mum.