Sunday, September 2, 2012

38 Weeks

How far along? 38 Weeks
Clothes? Living in my leggings. I am thinking they will not be going anywhere even after baby comes. I have grown very attached.
Best moment this week: Getting a ton of things checked off my to do list. I was so ready for this week to be over. I need my husband.
Not so good moment of the week: No Ryan. I kind of NEED him on a daily basis and this week was far too long. plus I have been a ton of pain.
Miss Anything? Ryan...
Movement: Still a very active boy. He is doing much better at being less active at night and a lot more active during the day. Lets hope that sticks.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope. Just don't have much of an appetite so I have to make myself eat or baby gets upset.
Gender: Boy
Symptoms: My back has been in terrible pain. My pelvis is consistently throbbing. I am ready to get a normal body back. I am ready to sleep again. There has been NO sleep the past couple weeks but especially this last week. I blame it on a mix of pregnancy, Ryan not being here and Harley having some serious anxiety issues.
Emotions: Totally a roller coaster. I am on cloud nine dreaming of how soon until ill be holding this little boy in my arms to completely breaking down in hysterical sobs fearing for what is to come. Missing Makenzie. Missing Ryan. Lack of sleep. Lack of eating. agh...
Looking forward to: Our SON! We will be meeting him in just 7 days. I simply cant wait. I have no idea how I will make it through this week. The anticipation is going to kill me. 

I feel like this day would never arrive. I have felt like the privilege of being a parent was always so far out of reach. That it just wouldn't be a reality for Ryan and I. It never seemed like we would see this day. Even being pregnant it always just seemed like its so far away. That is until right now. Ryan and I were having our nightly chat on the phone last night and we were both having a minor anxiety attack thinking sunday (today) would be our last Sunday without his baby. That we will have one last monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday before he arrives. Ryan is beyond excited. He is soo ready and his fears are minimal. He wants his boy. I am much calmer than I thought I would be but still freaking out a little. I am starting to get fears for the actual delivery more than when he gets here. I am worried for what is to come but I am trying to just put all of the unknown on God and have faith that he will keep our family together. Ryan always makes me think about things different and makes me more excited than fearful. I cant wait until he is in my arms but more than that- I cant wait to see Ryan with him. I wish I would have soaked up his relationship with Makenzie more. but this round will not go unnoticed. I have already fallen more in love with Ryan seeing the love he has for this boy already. I cant imagine how much that will grow when I actually see them together. That will be one of the best moments in life. 
So this week will be filled with living it up with a childless life. I have a few things planned for Ryan and I. It will be a great week. One that will probably drag-- but I cant wait to spend quality time with my best friend.

2 comments :

Rafahi Family said...

I am so excited for you!! I cannot wait to hear about baby T's birth and see the adorable photos!!

Amy said...

It's getting close! Can I ask why they are inducing you early?

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