her life was summed up in 4 songs.
baby mine - alison krauss
chicken fried - zac brown band
cryin for me - toby keith
the dance - garth brooks
from her first picture to her last.
how is it already done?
how is it already over?
i thought it was just the beginning.
life is spinning out of control and im loosing my grip. i cant hold on much longer.
i feel im holding on as tight as i can, some days the merry go round isn't so fast so i can get a better grip but most days it just keeps spinning at uncontrollable speeds. others are holding on to. others are on this merry go round. some are stronger. some have more drive, some have tricks or have learned other ways to stay on. i haven't learned those ways yet.
how has it been 6 months-
half a year-
to many minutes
and an infinity of seconds.
I am missing you so much. Every ounce of me is hurting. Aching. Missing you. My life needs you in it. Here with me. I need your smell and your wiggles and your sound and your amazing everything.
why isn't it getting easier? why isn't this pain feel less sharp? why is it that i feel it was yesterday?
this numb is so strong. this void is so vivid. this loss is too great.
how is it real?
how is life really without you now?
i want to scream, i have no control, i want to run and keep running until i get to you.
i have never felt so out of control.
i cant do anything- nothing- no amount of praying, pleading, begging, bartering will bring you back.
why did he take you from me?
your journey was over- you did all you needed- you were too perfect.
of course, i know that, but i don't understand it.
i never will.
please oh please God love her.
give her kisses, give her loves, throw her in the air and make her squeal.
show her the world that i couldn't. give her the love i didn't. tell her how much she means to me.
tell her ill see her again. no matter what. i know you wont keep her from me. we will be together again. someday.
to far away.