its days like today i need to be strong but cant
i keep catching a smell that reminds me of her
her face wont leave my mind
i hurt extra on days like today.
its not fair.
she was to young.
why did she have to die?
why cant i have her?
why cant ryan have her?
why cant i stop these tears?
i am running around trying to keep my mind busy.
i need her
i miss her
oh how i miss her
i cant believe it today.
i cant believe this is our life.
its a nightmare.
how can she be gone.
i just want to scream.
i want to throw something.
im using all my energy to just sit still-
to not scream and put my fist through the wall.
im so angry.
im hurting so much.
i seriously cant do this.
that word keeps flashing through my mind - gone -
oh my god baby.
im hurting today.
a hurt that i havent felt in a while.
my arms physically hurt because your not in them.
my legs are weak and i have a hard time walking.
i have to keep reminding myself to breathe.
im doing everything i can just to make it to the next second.
i keep trying to reach out to hold ---nothing...
im just praying for you.
please please please be okay.
please be in heaven.
i need to believe i will see you again.
im so scared.
im so unbelievably terrified i wont hold you again.
makenzie, please oh please know how much i love you.
dont ever ever doubt how much i absolutely adore you.
i ache for you every minute.
i love you.