I cant believe its been 8 months since you first came into this world.
That day is still unbelievable.
You are unbelievable.
I have been thinking about you so much Makenzie.
I wish I could put all my feelings into better words and really express my feelings but whenever I try, the only thing I can ever say is... I love you... seems like its not enough though.
you can love your dog, your car, your shoes...
I promise Kenz, I love you quite a bit more than someone could love a pair of shoes. My love for you is indescribable. I feel blessed to know this love.
You gave it to me. You gave me so much. You teach me everyday and I continue to look to you for guidance.
There is something I have thought about for quite sometime and never really known how to say it or how to write it to you.
I guess on your big 8 month bday is a better time than any to try :)
Makenzie, I cant begin to tell you how proud I am of you. For everything EVERYTHING you have done and continue to do. This life was not easy, you were given some impossible challenges and you broke through them with ease. You fought a hard battle, you worked your butt off and you sacrificed so much. You gave your Daddy and I the best 4 months 3 weeks and 4 days of our life. Sometimes I stop and think- how could we have asked you to stay on this earth any longer than you did because you gave us more than we could have dreamed of in a lifetime.
The light you brought into our home is amazing.
The love you gave your Dad and I is so powerful.
Everything about you is perfect.
Sweetheart I love you, I couldn't be more proud. You are every dream I ever dreamed, you did more than I could ever ask you to do. You have given me strength beyond what I thought I had. I miss you, oh how I miss you.
I become lost in your pictures trying so badly to just imagine feeling you, touching you, smelling you. I would give anything to just hold you and kiss you. I pray throughout everyday for you. I'm learning Kenz, I'm trying to grow and become more like you. I know I have a very long way to go but I will continue everyday to get there. I know I will someday because I will be with you again. I will run to you- I will never let you go.
That day will be amazing. It will be better than any moment we have ever had so far- and that's pretty amazing. How could it get any better than when we first meet right?!
I dream about you- every inch of you. I love everything you are.
I once wrote way back when we thought you had SMA that no matter what you look like, no matter what you can or cant do in life, no matter what happens I will adore you- love you and know your perfect. I cant even tell you how true that still is. No matter what Makenzie- my love will never ever change, it will only grow. You are my daughter, my first born, my world. You will carry me through life, you will be my rock, you will keep me grounded.
Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom.
Thank you for choosing Ryan to be your Dad.
Thank you for bringing your Daddy and I so much closer together.
I want you to know how much I love him.
He is so amazing- I know you know that.
You have brought us closer than we could have ever imagined.
We both adore you. We both love you with everything we have.
We both miss you terribly.
Makenzie, you have so much of your Dad in you.
I see it everyday because I see you in him.
I cant wait for the day the 3 of us will be together again.
I promise we will take you to the park, we will take you swimming, your Dad will carry you on his shoulders and throw you in the air, I will blow on your belly and in your arm pits :)
Promise me you will stay strong, You are not alone. Remember how much we love you. Know how we are living for you. You have stolen our hearts and you will keep them forever.
We miss your eyes, your smile, your checks, your ears, your elbows, your fingers, your knees and toes, we miss your belly and your back hair, we miss your butt. Everything.
We ache without you.
Oh how we are so proud of you. Thank you for living. Thank you for breathing. Thank you for smiling. Thank you for building us. Thank you for being everything you are baby.
Watch for balloons and kisses.