surgery

It has been a week full of anxiety, fear, love and unbelievable amounts of prayer.

Little Kenzie has had a rough ride her first few months of life.

I mentioned in my last post her difficulty breathing and it has been very difficult for her. She was constantly gasping for air. After her surgery they said when she would breath the little flaps of skin attached to her vocal cords would completely cover her air way, on top of that her vocal cords were a little large and would cover that layer of skin over her airway as well so she was having double trouble trying to breath. She also has very bad reflux which causes her to have upset tummy's and have a hard time eating. She ALSO is prone to have large air bubbles in her tummy which makes her very uncomfortable and in pain.

MY oh MY... My poor baby...

Whats so hard is we knew she had these problems, her doctors knew she had these problems yet we kept hearing she will grow out of it. They didn't really see the severity of it until last week. Her problems are pretty common with children/babies. They have these issues but are still able to breath and function fine and soon outgrow it. For Makenzie, she couldn't. She wasn't able to gain weight, she had no energy and it was getting worse almost by the day.

On Friday morning we were scheduled for surgery at 10:45 am. We arrived early and were greeted by Ryan's mom Becky (to my surprise she came up to sit with us while Kenzie was in surgery) We waited around for a while, watching the other babies who were getting ready to go back, singing and loving on Kenzie and praying harder than we have ever prayed.

Makenzie didn't go back until 11:45 am. Her nurse came and got Ryan and I, walked us back to the big double doors and said she was going to take Makenzie now and we should go into the waiting room. We gave her tons of kisses and handed our baby over to her nurse. I was a mess on the inside but luckily Becky was there to distract our thoughts and kept us talking about things other than Makenzie. 45 min. later her doctor came out to tell us everything went great. He showed us pictures of her throat and said she did have a very bad case of Laryngomalacia and they think this will really help her. He said Kenzie was waking up from the anesthesia pretty well and one parent could go in. I pretty much ran down the hall! Dr. ENT was amazing, he was so sweet to me even though I was a mess and couldn't stop thanking him for taking good care of my baby. I went into a busy room filled with baby beds and crying babies. Each bed was occupied with a child just waking up from surgery with Mothers or Fathers running to their side. Makenzie was the smallest one in that room by far. Her nurse let me pick her up and gave me a rocking chair to hold her in. She was still very much out of it but her eyes were open. One of the first things I noticed was the red line she had down the side of her face where the breathing tube was. She kept trying to cry but no noise would come out. They gave her some strong medication to help with the pain. During the next half hour they were trying to control her oxygen levels. I sat there and held a little oxygen mask to her face and tried to get her to drink sugar water. After they got her a room we headed up there. I just held her the whole time. Kissing her face.

We got into her room and Ryan and his Mom were finally able to come see her. We tried to get her to drink some pedialyte but she didn't want any of it. She was in and out of sleeping and we consistently stared at the heart/oxygen monitor making sure she was okay. They old me when her hear rate is up, that means she is in pain so you better believe I was on them like glue at the slightest sign her heart rate was going up so she wouldn't feel any pain.

Ryan had to go to work for a few hours so he left me and his Mom to love on Makenzie. Ryan's Aunt Carma who lives in St. George came up for the weekend and stopped by to see Kenzie to. They were both so amazing to stay with me and love on her. We talked for a while before they had to go. Makenzie finally drank some warm formula which prob. felt nice on her throat. She slept in my arms for a while before my Mom came. She tried to hold Makenzie but Kenzie only wanted her Mom. She tried to cry but sounded like a wounded kitten. It was so sad. After I got her back I tried to calm her down but she was so upset. I called the nurse in because she started turning blue and was acting like she couldn't breath. I looked at the monitor and her oxygen levels were in the 30's. They should be above 90. I was trying to stay calm but holding my blue baby was one of the worst feelings in the world. A few nurses rushed in. They cranked up her oxygen mask, put oxygen in her nose and just tried to help me any way possible. Her levels finally came back up.

I then wouldn't let anyone else hold her for fear she would get upset again. They ordered a chest xray to make sure there was nothing else going on. I again wouldn't let anyone else hold her so I carried her down to xray and the only time I didn't hold her was the few seconds they took pictures of her.

This is what they saw-- For those like me that really don't know what the heck is normal or not in an xray this is not. Do you see the darker circle oval thing in the right side of her body. Its taking up pretty much her whole bottom half. Well that's an air bubble. That HUGE thing that is covering her body. Its so big its squishing her lungs which are on the other side.

3 nurses came into her room after the xrays came through to "suck" her air bubble out. They shoved a large tube down her throat into her tummy that had a suction on it. You can only imagine how upset Makenzie was. I had to hold her down while they put that thing her mouth. She tried so hard to cry but she is still in pain so nothing really comes out but a little squeak. They thought they got it so they stopped after a few trys. I have to say- PURE TRAUMA for Mama... I will never get that image out of my mind.

That night Kenzies Aunt Brooke came to visit and Dad finally got back to the hospital. We both stayed there that night with her. They were going to slowly try to get her off the oxygen but every time they would turn it down her levels would drop. She couldn't get air on her own. I stayed up that night holding her, trying to keep her comfy. I tried to feed her every hour to try and get something down her tummy. The next morning the nurses came to tell me she probably wouldn't be able to go home but the doctors would come talk to us. We waited and waited. Anytime I would put Makenzie down she would cry. Even when Ryan would hold her. At this point I was surviving on Dr. Pepper so I was needing to go potty alot. I would hold it until I almost wet my pants and run to the bathroom and run back. Of course then needing to calm my baby down. Her doc. decided they wanted her to stay another night and they moved us into a more permanent room since they didn't know for how long. I have to admit it was heaven, There was a window and a bathroom right inside the room! Hello :) Simple pleasures....

The nurses were all amazing. They took great care of us. On Saturday afternoon I meet with a Pulmonary doctor who examined Kenzies xrays and gave us his opinion. He said the reason she cant get off the oxygen right now is because her throat is so swollen from surgery. He suggested she get a steroid shot. Later that day she got her shot which was slowly injected into her IV over a 30 min period. Kenzie Hated this. I couldn't hold her and she could feel the cold going in her.

Starting at 10 pm they slowly turned the oxygen down to try and get her off it. Through the night anytime they turned it down her levels dropped so they turned it back up. Thankfully at 4 am. she was doing so well they turned the oxygen off and she kept her levels up. YEAH!!!!

She was like pinocchio... I kept singing - 'you've got no strings to hold you down'....

They did another chest xray that morning to see how her air bubble was doing.

Still there but her doctor said that she is just prone to having large air bubbles and we need to keep her on mylicon and do everything we can to burp her as often as possible.

Since she was doing so good off the oxygen Makenzie was told she could go home on Sunday morning!!!

We have to keep a close eye on her. She cant really let her cry right now because she tends to hold her breath. She sleeps in our room right next to the bed so I can check on her through the night and can listen to her breath.
She still has reflux and will continue on those medications. With this one problem fixed we are all hopping the rest will get better with time. I will meet with a diet specialist in the next 2 weeks to help me get Kenzie to start packing on some serious pounds.
So far everyday its getting better. Kenzie is eating more and more and her breathing seems to get better as well.


I cant explain how these last few days have changed me. I was changed the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was changed the minute I saw my daughter for the first time, I have been changing every day with her and I changed going through this. I cant explain the feeling you have when your laying next to your sick baby in the hospital. I know some people out there (mainly one family I have thought about quite a bit over the last few days) goes through this more than I could imagine. I know they are like I was this last weekend, over the moon when my baby did something that most don't even think about and that's breath. I am amazed by this family. I have cried several times in the last few days for this family.

My Makenzie is my world. She is my reason. Life continues to change with her in my life. She is helping me grow, become a better person, learn, experience, dream.

Thank you to everyone for your well wises, calls, texts, visits. I realize more than ever how blessed I am. My family, friends, co workers who are like family, strangers, nurses, doctors... You have given me strength, love and comfort. Thank you for loving my baby and thank you for thinking of us!

** Im sure I have left some things out so if you have questions ask and Ill answer them.