We were scheduled to be induced on Sunday September 9th. We were told the hospital would call us the morning of to let us know when we should go in. The night before I got zero sleep. I was so anxious and so uncomfortable. I finally got up and out of bed about 5:00am. I took a shower and went downstairs to try and relax and get a little sleep. We got the call from the hospital at 6:00am telling us to be there at 7:15am. We quickly got ready and headed out the door.
I was hungry but didn't have much of an appetite but managed to eat a piece of bread and some yogurt. We got to the hospital and they took us right back to our room #14.
They gave me my gown and got me settled in bed.
I couldn't believe this moment was finally here. Looking back the whole morning was very surreal.
I was so nervous. I was so anxious. I was scared. I was excited. Oh my emotions were all over the place. They started the pitocin around 8:30am. My doctor checked me right before the pitocin and I was dilated to a 4. The IV is always the worst but my nurse was actually pretty awesome and she got it on the first try! Off to a great start.
Ryan's parents Becky and Randy, his sister Brooke and our friend Misty was there helping us pass the time chatting. It wasn't long before I started to feel some contractions. They weren't horrible at first. I could breathe through them pretty good and Ryan was a great support. Within an hour they were getting rather intense. The nurse checked me and I was at a 6. She asked if I wanted the epidural. I was still breathing through the contractions okay so we waited just a bit longer. Within 30 minutes I was asking for the epidural. It took probably another 30 minutes for the anaesthesiologist to come in and give me the goods. He had me just lay on my side curled as much as possible. By this time the contractions were really strong and coming one on top of the other. They were so intense I was starting to feel nauseous and kept saying I was going to throw up. They gave Ryan a barf bag to hold next to me in case I needed it. The numbing before the epidural is worse than anything for me. The combination of feeling nauseous, curling in a ball, constant contractions and getting the numbing needles was a little much. I kept my eyes shut the entire time and just focused on breathing as best as I could. Ryan was right next to me the entire time while I was squeezing his hand. I kept opening my eyes long enough to see him which would calm me down and then I would shut my eyes again. After the anaesthesiologist was done and had me roll back over I started to feel immediate relief. I got comfy and thought we would be waiting several more hours before anything started happening. We had everyone come back in the room and were chatting and trying to make guesses on how much this baby would weigh and would he have hair and what color would it be... etc.. etc..
The nurse kept asking if I could feel that huge contraction and I was happy to say no every time. Within another hour I started feeling really strange pressure. I didn't feel like I needed to push it was more pressure like I had been feeling my entire pregnancy that was all on my right side. It was shooting pain down my right leg. I started to get nervous my epidural wasn't working or something. My chest was getting really heavy and I told the nurse it was kind of hard to take a breath. She tipped the bed up so the epidural could work its way down my body instead of up. It helped right away with the breathing but not with the pressure running down my leg. The nurse had gone out of the room when I finally told Ryan it wasn't going away. He said to page the nurse and have her check me just in case. I really didn't think it was "push" kind of pressure but listened. Everyone left the room for the nurse to check me. She looked up and quietly said-- "umm, you are complete. and he is right there so don't push."
I started to freak out a little. I honestly thought we would have a few more hours and I would have a little more time to get myself ready for this baby. It was 11:30 am and only 3 hours into labor.
The room started getting a little busy. The NICU team, a few nurses and my doctor came in right away. He comes to check me and stands up and says the same thing..."don't push"
I didn't have the urge to push at all so I just laid there and started to cry.
One nurse is helping my doctor put on his gown, the other is taking the table out from under me and another is bringing out all the spot lights and directing them at my whoohaa... It was unreal. I was still feeling like this was just not happening. That it was a dream or something. There is no way we could be here. It seemed like this moment would never come and now we were minutes away from it all happening. I remember just telling myself to breathe. I imagined my babies saying their goodbyes and felt peace.
I started to push at 11:38am...
I pushed hard...
took a breath...
I pushed hard again...
and Tracker Kent Webster was here.
Doctor T put him on my tummy but his back was turned to me so I couldn't see his face. I grabbed his hand and he squoze my finger. Ryan quickly cut the cord and they whisked him away to the NICU team to suck out all the meconium. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I was crying. I could barley breathe. I couldn't believe we had a son and he was finally here. I was a Mom. Ryan was a Dad. I kept looking at Ryan and then looking at Tracker. The entire room kept assuring me he was doing so good. A tiny little squeaky cry is all we heard for a second. They finally got him cleaned up and brought him to me. Seeing his face. Touching his skin. Kissing his lips. was the moment I had ached for. Holding my child. Falling completely in love. Feeling closer to God. Feeling closer to Makenzie. Feeling closer to Ryan. More than any other moment in my life. This tiny little person. This little boy. He was breathing. He was moving. I was holding life. This perfect little life that came straight from heaven.
My heart was bursting.
I snuggled him for a while.
Then his Daddy got to get some snuggles in.
We hung out for a bit longer in recovery before heading upstairs to our room.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
It was all so amazing.
The next 2 days at the hospital were amazing.
They were filled with so much happiness.
I couldn't stop thanking God for giving Tracker to us. I couldn't stop telling Ryan--- I am so happy.
Its amazing the littlest things I have missed so much since Makenzie left.
I have missed holding her over my shoulder.
I have missed feeling her breath on my neck.
I have missed little noises, milk mustaches, boogie eyes, crazy arms, dirty diapers, baby blankets, laying nose to nose, fingers, toes, bath time, the smell of night time lotion...
I could go on and on. This little boy has already brought some much life back into this home.
He has healed so much of our broken hearts.
He has given us so much hope.
He has shown us a reason.
I am overwhelmed with love for this little boy.
I put together a little video for Tracker telling the beginning of his story.
The first video in there is when we found out his gender. You cant hear the girl very good unless you listen real close.