Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I will never let you go

When you were in the hospital I prayed every single day that I could trade places with you. I prayed that I could take this all away somehow. I prayed I would hurt instead of you. I held you. I kissed  you. I did anything I could to make sure you knew you were not alone and that I would be by you every single second. I never wanted you to be scared. I never wanted you to hurt. I hated more.than.anything in this whole world- watching you cry. Without being able to make a sound. Without being able to move. But having those silent tears fall down your face. I would have done anything to take that away. To let you breathe, to let you move, to let you live. 
I still pray every day for that. 
For you to be happy, free, loved and in an incredible place. I still pray to let me take any hurt or pain away from you now. I cant be there to hold you, to kiss you or to whip your tears. God please don't let there be tears. Just be happy. I pray you never have to known pain again. 
The first time I heard this song I thought of us. In the hospital. and every one of those prayers.                 I wish I could have done more. I wish I could have given you so much more. 
I Wont Let Go.
It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that
You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go
It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

I will make it up to you one day. One day we will be together and we will never have to know that life. 
I will be able give you the world. I will be able take all the bad away and we will be able just love for the rest of forever.
On that day, I will hold you and I will never ever let you go, I promise.


Anonymous said...

Aahhh....Your sweet girl....miss her.... love her. Love you too. Aunt Mary

Emma said...

I wish you knew how much you did for Kenzie, every single day, and how much you continue to do. She needed love, she needed you by her side, she needed comfort, she needed a voice-and you did all of those and more!!

I know when you meet again it will be, well, there are no words! I know she can't wait but is loving seeing what a wonderful Mom, wife, friend and woman you are-she is so proud of all you.

The pic is beautiful, you can feel the love just looking at it-thanks for sharing. Love the song too, isn't it amazing how songs can truly reach your heart and soul?!

Love and hugs, Em

Tiffany said...

Oh heart is aching for you. That song is perfect. Brittany Kunz always says, "Someday"...because someday this will all be okay. Someday we'll have our little angels and NEVER have to worry about them getting hurt, or seeing them sad. Someday this hole in our hearts will be healed and we'll be made whole again.

You are an INCREDIBLE girl! I KNOW without a DOUBT that your little Kenzie is SO proud of you. That she looks down on you and tells all the other angel children..."Yep...that's MY mom...ISN"T SHE AWESOME?!!"

All the hugs in the world,
Tiff Rich
(Jack's mom)

mrslill said...

You're amazing! I look forward to reading every blog you write and I don't even know you. But one thing I do know is YOU'RE AMAZING!


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