Dreams come true...

Its true.

Dreams come true at Disney!

Oh what a night.

It made me want to learn to ice skate and run away with the traveling Disney ice capades.

That would be a dream come true.

Other than it being the most amazing night for me...

The rest of the girlies that went had a blast as well.

Twiner Tangled...

and no that was not planned. They showed up only to realize they are the victims of a serious fashion no no.

I came home and told Ryan all I want for Christmas is to go to Disneyland.

Thankful

2 Thankful's today since I didn't have time yesterday...

I am THANKFUL for Harleys pooper scooper.  I cant imagine picking up that crap without it. I wish she knew how to go to the potty in the toilet. It sure would make life that much better.  Our family cat growing up- Shasta- would go to the bathroom in the toilet. It was a pretty funny sight to see.  No one ever believed us.  She taught herself. She was a cutie kitty.

I am THANKFUL for Disney. The amount of entertainment they provide is priceless.  I love me some fantasy fun.  Thanks to Disney we have a night full of fun awaiting us.  There are 2 little girls who cant wait for Disney on Ice.

Thankful

I hate hearing about bullies. I hate hearing about someone being rude or hurtful to someone else. I hate hearing about someone kicking someone when they are down.  I don't understand it.  Who are you? Who are you to judge someone? This is something that never ends.  From the time you are a child all the way through your adulthood. 

Why do people do this?

Why do you feel you can act this way?

Why would you want to hurt someone?

No one is perfect. We all have flaws and imperfections. We all make mistakes. We all have something a little off or silly about us.  We might not be the prettiest on the outside. Maybe we talk funny. Maybe we are a little more unique than you. 

So what!

Why do you stare?

Why do you whisper?

Why do you have to give your inappropriate opinion?

Why do you feel you know anymore about anything than me?

I don't care what religion you are. I don't care what God you do or do not believe in. I don't care what your morals are. I don't care what you have been through in life. I don't care who you know.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!

We are all walking this journey. 

We all started the same way. We all came from the same place.

What life has given us is what makes us who we are. It makes us different. Yes... Different than you. So what. Does that make you better than me? Hell No.  

God doesn't love you more than me. He doesn't think you are any better than me. No matter what we do with our lives.  You are no better than me. 

I understand you believe something different. I don't judge you.  I listen to you and than I pray for you.  I pray you don't ever talk to someone else like that. I pray someone else doesn't have to be effected by your actions.  You don't get it.

I am 5. 

I am 30.

I am 75.

I am the same. I am me. I live and I learn. What I have been through. You have no idea. The pain I have seen. The pain I have felt. The pain I have bled.  Who I am today is because of where I have been. You have not walked in my shoes. So please don't tell me how to live, what to believe, what I do wrong.

Look at yourself. 

Who I love--- It doesn't effect you.

I love a man.

I love a women.

I am straight.

I am gay.

Who I love is who I love.  You don't need to tell me what is right or wrong about that. I am right. Your words are only acid. What is your goal with what you say? To change me? What gives you the right to change me? You don't know me. You don't know my heart. 

Live your life and I will live mine. 

You chased me home from school.

You hit me.

You threw my books down.

You laughed when I walked by.

You pushed me.

You ignored me.

You talked behind my back.

You helped kill me.

Before you say another word. Before you think another thought. Before you make another assumption. Look at yourself. Are you perfect? Have you ever done something someone else would disagree with?

Keep your disgusting words to yourself.

You have no idea how they hurt. You have no idea what they do to another person. You have no idea how long that stays with someone.  Think what you want. But keep those thoughts to yourself. 

I have cut.

I have starved myself.

I have hit myself.

I have said horrible things to myself.

I have cried.

I have prayed.

I have wish I was dead.

I have tried to die.

I killed myself.

I did these things to myself but you didn't help. You didn't smile at me. You didn't ask how my day was. You didn't give me a chance. We were different so you turned your back.  You felt you needed to put me in my place. You felt I needed to be told I was ugly. You felt I needed to know what I believe was wrong. You felt I needed to feel low. 

What do you think God thinks of me?

What do you think God thinks of you?

Remember when you pushed me on the playground and called me names...

I went home to an abusive father who molested me every night.

Remember when you whispered about what I was wearing in the hall at school...

I was living at the homeless shelter because my single Mom couldn't keep up with the bills even with 2 full time jobs.

Remember when you laughed at how I talk...

It was because I was born with a birth defect that I have been in therapy my whole life to fix.

Remember when you talked to your friends about how fat and disgusting I was and that "I should skip a few meals."

I was home alone doing the only thing that made me feel better which was to eat because my husband cheats on me.

Stop thinking you know anything about me. You don't know anything. You don't know what is going on at home. You don't know the daily struggles I have to deal with. You don't know who I am.

I am asking all of you to remember this. Whenever you think someone should be a certain way or believe a certain thing. You really don't get it.  Instead of looking at what is wrong with someone--- look at what is right with them. No matter who they are or what they have done. There is something if not a million things RIGHT about them. I pray if you have kids you teach them this same thing.  You can never start to soon to be NICE to someone. To be friends with someone who needs a friend. To smile at everyone. 

Just because we don't live the same way. Or believe the same thing. Or act the same way...

Doesn't mean I don't love with all my heart and do everything I can to be a better person.

I don't need you to tell me how to live or what is right or wrong.

Use your energy for good. 

Use your thoughts for positive ones.

Use your talent to help others.

Stop with the hate.

Stop with the hurt.

Stop pretending you are in any position to judge someone else.

I am THANKFUL for my MAKENZIE who is the biggest change in my life. She has opened my eyes more than anything has or ever could.  She is who I think of when I think of good.  What happened to us when she got sick has been my reality check to judge less.  I have said it a hundred times but over the last 2 years... Everything we said we would never do-- we have done.  Everything we thought-- changed.  I had no idea what life was about. I had no idea what pain was. I had no idea how important and beautiful every life is.  

Until my daughter lived. 

I thank my daughter everyday for showing me this. 

No one has the right to judge, cause hurt or belittle anyone.

Thankful

There is so much I am thankful for today...

- That my husband didn't wake me up before he left for work giving me some extra time to sleep in.
- Being able to play with 2 of the cutest nieces in the world most of the day.
- Finding the coupon I have patiently been waiting weeks for so I could buy that Christmas gift for a special someone.
- Starting to get my Christmas shopping done. I love finding the perfect thing for everyone.
- Windex. I love my clean windows.
- When the hubby heytells me throughout the day just to say I love you.
- Daily phone calls with my Mum.
- Purdy fall sunsets.
- Saying Makenzie's name out loud.
 Being able to talk to someone about her is so much better than talking to myself about her in my head.
- Watching Sons of Anarchy with my husband all night long.

Seriously am so thankful for everything GOD has given me in my life.

Thankful

Do you know of Jersey Shore?

What am I saying... Of course you do.  You have to live under a rock to not know what JS is.

Well Ryan and I love this show. Its sooo dumb we cant stop laughing.

Do you know of Pinterest?

again... of course you do. BUT if you don't--- I highly recommend you checking it out.

anyway

As I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day I came across this...

* Just an FYI. I want that little Snookie. She is just the cutest ever *

I snatched the picture and sent it to Ryan and my JS loving sista immediately.

So today- I am thankful for Pinterest... Jersey Shore... People that dress their kids up for their own laughing pleasure... 

and the hope that I can have my own guido or guidette someday :)

.... PS. Just an update...Started testing!  

Just hoping in the next couple weeks we can get that positive result for both ovulation and pregnancy!!! Keeping our fingers crossed.

Thankful

You know what's weird to me? How afraid of death people are. How against it they are. I guess I used to be to. I guess it scared me. The thought of dieing. But having seen the end of someone's life so intimately like I did with Makenzie. It's so clear to me now that it's so not scary. It's not bad. It's the most amazing thing. You are leaving this world. You are leaving hurt, pain, fear. You are going to God. You are living in paradise. You won't get lost. You don't die alone. Angels are there to help you find your way home. For me. I am overjoyed at the thought of going to heaven. That is where my daughter waits for me. That is where I will see her again. For me. It's taking to long. I want to be with her more than anything. I want to meet my Gracie. When this life ends. A whole new and beautiful life begins. How is that scary? The only thing that scares me about death is the death of someone else I love. I'm not scared for them. I'm actually happy for them. I am just scared to live the rest of this life without them. That is what hurts. That is the scary part. I am thankful for my life. I am thankful God has put me where I am today. But I am more thankful that I am not scared. That I don't live in fear of the end coming. I live so that it can end. To fulfill the plan he has for me. To do it the very best I can and to then go home. To see him. To see my family. To hold my baby.
I am thankful he has given me that understanding.

Thankful

I have to pay some extra thank you's to GOD for our amazing family.

To be more specific with this Thank You...

I am over the moon thankful for our amazing AUNTS and UNCLE.

We are lucky enough to have quite a few and I love each and everyone of them with all my heart.

They are amazing people.

The amount of support and love they give us is out of this world.

Janet, John, Jim, Joyce, Steve, Cindy, Bob, Carol, Randy, Robin, 

Mona, Byron, Mary Ann, Richard,  Maggie, Tommy, Carma, Bob, Mark, Sherry.

Thank you for being in our lives. 

and

Thank you GOD for putting them in our lives.

Thankful

What a night.
Random dreams. Restless dog. Too hot. Too cold.

Good thing I have COFFEE!
Thank you so so much for my COFFEE!
Its the first thing that puts a smile on my face every morning.
We are just a little obsessed with Korean coffee.  We get it from the Asian market. My brother got me on the stuff. It is SO good! I usually have to sugar up my coffee but not this stuff.  It tastes that good.
and I am so thankful for this time of year because I am also obsessed with my pumpkin spice coffee and coffee creamer. Oh its heaven.


I am loving everyone elses THANKFUL lists.  Its so true that we are all sooo blessed and have so much GOOD in life.

Thankful

I am soooo very thankful for...

- Sugar Daddy suckers (They are one of my most favorite treats ever)
- Gas (For our vehicles not gas... gas...)
- Razors (I not only love freshly shaven legs for me but I sure love when my husband has a freshly shaven face)
- Ribbon
- Candles
- Utensils (I would hate to eat with my fingers)
- Plastic cups (I like them better than glass ones. I don't know why)

There is my mini list for the day. I needed to add a few extra things because I really needed to say my thank yous!

Makenzie's Halloween

I hope she had an amazing Halloween.

I sure miss her.

I can only imagine what we would have dressed her as.

Ryan and I wish more than anything we could have held her hand taking her house to house this year.

I dream about holding her hand.

I dream about the smiles she would have had.

I dream about what our life could have been.

I simple adore the dreams I have of her.

I love you to the moon Makenzie Rye.

Halloween 2011

Boo at the Zoo!!!

First year ever going. It was a lot of fun but total chaos. Seriously waiting in a 30 minute line to get a tiny plastic cup of chocolate milk or a string cheese or a mini box of dots is not worth it in my book.

Plus it was near impossible to see the animals around the crowds.

I guess this holiday isn't about the adults.

So my experience was irrelevant.

Especially when the kitty kitty was on cloud nine the entire time and wouldn't stop talking about her run in with tangled the moment we got there. So in all actuality it was totally worth it.

Kitty & Tangled

Kitty & Ariel

Halloween Day!

We couldn't sleep the night before because we were just tooo excited.

We woke up early and the mini insisted on getting ready right away!

I held her off as long as possible because I knew the makeup and hair would never last all day.

So we compromised. All day long she was a beautiful princess and dressed in her Cinderella dress.

Then it was kitty time around 3:00.

The boys joined us for all the candy fun and stayed the night so we could trick or treat the night away.

The D had the most amazing costume. He was a bum and totally rocked it.  I couldn't stop laughing especially at his signature walk that he nailed! Oh I should have recorded it.

The K was a mix between Justin Beiber, Fro man and a skater.  I personally vote for the Fro man because it made me smile!  His hair took up the back seat!

We met up with the rest of the fam. since they have a golf cart for the adults who are tired of walking.  

Somehow I never got to ride in the golf cart but Ryan on the other hand-- never got off the thing :)

Before we took off on the candy hunt we had to send our loves and kisses to our little monster in heaven. I can only imagine the massive amount of candy my little girl got.

And the fun began!

This house in my neighborhood does this amazing pumpkin display. 

There is TONS of these pumpkins totally decorated like nothing you have ever seen.

Hours... and Hours... and Hours later.

and we all went to bed on an extreme sugar high.

Happy Happy Day!

Love us some Halloween!

Thankful

OH what a day I have.
Ill give an update on what I'm doing soon but before I run out of the house I had to stop for a minute and really thank GOD for my blessings!  Oh there are just so many.
But my big thank you this morning...

My Running Shoes!

Holy life saver... I have always hated running. I am out of shape, my feet always go numb, I get too hot then too cold, my chest is always on fire after I'm done... Its never been anything I look forward to.
Well about this time last year Ryan said if I was actually going to run I needed a real pair of running shoes. So we headed to the SL Running co. and they fit me with the perfect pair for my feet and the individual way I run.
(did you know your running shoes should be 2 sizes bigger than your regular pair of shoes?)
I had no idea. No wonder why my feet always go numb!

Anywho... It has taken me a whole year to really get into the running thing and using those shoes. I am big into making excuses and not getting out there.  Its been about a month now and I am sticking with my daily run.  Harley and I get out there at the crack of dawn and get our run on.  I am starting to see a small difference in my endurance but not big enough to pat myself on the back just yet.  Ill keep going though. and thanks to my shoes--- My feet could run all day! Its just my breathing that I need to work on :)

So thank you thank you thank you GOD for my lovely, super comfy, running shoes!

Thankful

Oh how I love this time of year.  It makes me realize how blessed I am to have such amazing family and friends.  I have had a bad case of the "poor me" syndrome so I need to get my head out of the ground and remember all the GOOD in my life.  I will come up with something everyday but I am not going to say ill be blogging what that is everyday this month because we all know that will not happen.
The obvious things I'm grateful for is Ryan and Makenzie so I have decided my list has to be the things I don't recognize everyday and the things I forget to thank God for.

Day 1...
I am so thankful for hot water.  I seriously cant get over what life would be without a hot bath after a hard day.  I love my baths and the hotter the water the better.


Are you making a list like this?  Make sure you let me know so I can see all the things your grateful for.

Cookbooks and Leggings

I have so many things to post about.  I have really been lost in space the last little while.
I have had so much going on that I cant even think straight.
Sheesh...

Well I had to get a little update about some important things coming up.

THE LEGGINGS!
If you remember we collected over 1800 pairs of leggings last year to donate to the Children's hospital on December 13th in honor of Makenzie.  Well I have really dropped the ball this year.  I knew I was still going to do this so within my immediate family I have made sure everyone remembers to be collecting leggings but aside form that and a few posts here and there I haven't really been on top of this.  Well I wanted to give a little update and let everyone know I am collecting leggings through the month of November.  If you live in different state or country and would like to donate to your local Children's hospital I only ask you to attach the little story we created to be attached with each pair of leggings.  You can email me for that story-- livingformrw@hotmail.com.  I would love if you could maybe send me a count for the amount you donate and some pictures of you take any so I can post them on here.
If you have any you would like to send to me please email me for my address!  I have had a few amazinggg people send me some leggings that I am just sooo excited to take up there.  I know all of those kids at the hospital love them and appreciate them immensely.
UPDATE: Click on the LEGGINGS link to see details on what kinds of socks, leggings we donate!!!


COOKBOOKS!
So I have seen the draft of the cookbook and its amazing! ahh.  You all are amazing cooks and I cant wait to get my copy so I can start cooking away.  The desserts are what is simply out of this world. Some of those recipes make my mouth water just reading the directions.  A new dear friend of mine designed the cover of the book and I love it.  I wanted something simple but really had NO idea what to have it look like.  Oh it turned out perfect.  Its so darling and I cant wait to see the whole book put together.  They are in production of getting it printed and I will have all my copies no later than November 21st.  I will be very busy the following days getting all the pre-orders out right away.  You can still pre-order your cookbook anytime.  If you have any questions send me an email anytime!
Thank You so much to everyone who has already ordered.  Ryan and I are so blessed to have so many people support us and help us on our journey to a family.