Friday, October 3, 2014

Back

There are a few reasons I created a different blog. The main reason being I felt the need to control what others saw in our everyday life. Certain people actually. Mainly my Dad. I didn't feel like he would hurt us or do something bad. I think it was more a small way to take control of something I never had control of my entire life. I also wanted a little break of the nasty commenter's. I was so annoyed at the amount of "anonymous" people that felt they needed to judge, degrade and just leave terrible messages that was usually not even close to the truth. Over the last few months a lot has changed for me. My Dad died. I have really worked on myself and figuring out what is important and right in life. and being okay with who I am, which comes out so much in my blog.

I love blogging. Its been a huge source of therapy. An outlet. Writing has been such a big part of my life these last 5 years. Now that blogs are on the outs and not many people update theirs or even read them anymore I have to say I have no desire to stop. Mainly because I do this for myself. For my family. I love the relationships I have built and friends I have met. There are many people that have helped me during some of my hardest of hard days and some that continue to help me laugh and smile every time I read their latest post. 

All social media can be bad for me. and for others I think. There is so much comparing. Far to many putting each other down instead of raising each other up. Too many people hiding behind their computer saying horrible things based on a small amount of what people put online. I am guilty of comparing myself, my son and my husband to others. Thinking I am not enough. My marriage is not enough and my son is not nearly smart enough. It can be so good for the soul and yet so bad for your heart and mind. I am always trying to balance what is right for me. Taking breaks here and there and limiting my screen time. I am always reminding myself that the small amount of what people put online. That 1 picture. Says nothing compared to the big picture. I myself am guilty of this. Taking a cute picture with a cute caption making it look as if life is bliss when in reality it was the only moment that day I wasn't a beasty Mum and my son wasn't causing havoc.

I am thankful for this blog. I am thankful for the mini vacation from this blog when I felt a little more privacy was needed. I am thankful that I can keep this blog forever. That I can print it out each year (after far too many hours editing the damn book) and keep it for myself and my family for years to come. After being away for so long I have deiced to come back to this blog. It is where I began and its where I want to continue. I will keep it updated fairly regularly. Get ready for Tracker overload. I am not doing the double blog any longer because its been more of a pain to tell people that this blog is where you can go to read and learn about the leggings and Kenzie but that I update another one... So its easier to keep it as one. 
Not that this is headline news or anything but just a little explanation.
No need to keep checking the other blog. Its pretty much done. 
So hello.
Thanks for continuing to read. 
Feel free to leave comments but be nice. I will not be reading or posting rude or nasty comments so don't waste your time dumb anonymous commenter. 

If you are feeling curious you are welcome to catch up on the last several months on the other blog...

10 comments :

Lauren Graff said...

I have been following your blog for a long time and never comment. I am so sorry for the hateful comments! That is awful! I think you are spot on with the social media comment. I too am guilty of comparing myself to others and feeling inferior. We are all too hard on ourselves! I think you are an amazing person and mother.

TamaraLove said...

Welcome back to the one blog world! :) I totally understand what you mean about social media. Some days I want to unplug... I also often wonder, especially on blogs why people that have negative opinions need to share them at all let alone so passionately. Why are they even ON the blog? No one is making them read it. No one asked for their negative opinion... And most of all, it is a privilege for someone to share their life and story with others, as such it should be respected and not judged. Anyhow, welcome back and just delete the annoying people that need to spread negativity. Sending love!!

Kristy said...

YEAH!!! I am so glad you are back. I have missed reading your updates. I too love to blog but have also made mine private due to really mean and hurtful comments as well, so I know how you feel. But thanks for coming back, you uplift and inspire me and I think you are pretty dang amazing.

Kristy said...

YEAH!!! I am so glad you are back. I have missed reading your updates. I too love to blog but have also made mine private due to really mean and hurtful comments as well, so I know how you feel. But thanks for coming back, you uplift and inspire me and I think you are pretty dang amazing.

Lisa Martz said...

I followed your other blog, but so glad to see that you've decided to come home. I am sure that takes a lot. So sorry about your fathers death. No matter your relationship with him, it still hurts. You are loved and missed, no matter your marriage or your child's amazingness, YOU are amazing.

Judi T said...

It's headline news for me! I'm so glad you came back, I've missed your family! I only know you through the blog, and you don't know me at all, lol, but I feel like I'm welcoming back an old friend. Blog away!

Cindy Logsdon said...

Tracker is so big. What a handsome little boy. I have been following your blog and I pray for you often. Cindy Logsdon

Rashelle Hughes said...

I have been reading your blog for a very long time. I am glad you are back to this one.

Angela in VA said...

I found you through another site a few months after Makenzie passed away. I would think about you and pray for you often as you would randomly come across my mind over the years. I would try to remember how I found your site so I could find it again and read an update. I wished, prayed, hoped with you every step of the way while you were waiting for another baby.

I know all of this grief, unfathomable loss and longing for another child, then the truth that your grief over losing Makenzie will never go away, has taken a tole on your marriage. I pray for you both about that the most often. I've been married 15 yrs and haven't lost a child and it's had it's struggles so you need extra love, grace and prayers. Sorry for the rambling, I just wanted you to know I don't know you, I have older kids and am so touched by Makenzie's life I wanted to keep up with you and make sure you guys were doing OK. So I come check on you.

I was just heartbroken to read about what happened with your Dad. Thank you for sharing that as well. We all need a reminder that you never really know the pain behind each person. Even when they are sharing pain there could still be an entire different layer we aren't seeing. We should always be compassionate.

I am glad you now are in a place that you feel in control and safe and willing to share with the world again.

Never let the trolls and idiots of the world stop you from doing what you need to do. This blog will help you son and his future wife understand so much about you. This blog helps you not only vent, share, create, remember, dream, hope and grieve, it helps those who read it.

I think and pray for your sweet family often and I don't even know you. What could be better than that

Bethany said...

I will follow you wherever you go, girlie! I love your heart, your beautiful family, and your honesty. Thank you for sharing with all of us!

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