a much needed get-a-way

Sometimes when you have a long week you just need to get away! Ryan and I decided to pack up and head down to the cabin to just get away from the heat, laundry and city. It rained quite a bit there but it was still a blast being down there just the 2 of us-well 3 including Harley. We rode the 4wheelers for hours and hours. It was Harley's first time riding since last year and he loved it. She sat in front of me and held on the best she can. I tried to be calm but come on- I'm on a 4wheeler I have to go over some huge rocks and drive really fast! Ryan did a little 4wheeling with his truck. Its a all black truck with black rims but as you can tell it was now a lovely shade of brown! This pictures doesn't do justice as to how dirty this thing really was. There are deer all over the place down there and usually the same ones keep coming to our cabin for a drink.




Ryan cant wait for hunting season to start. Just 3 more weeks and he will be down there every weekend through September. Then it will start to snow to much down there so he will be hunting the Wasatch front every weekend until Dec. I wont be able to go back down to the cabin this year since my schedule is already packed! Full time work, Full time School, Devlin and Teagan, Family Reunions and plenty more to keep me busy :) At least when Ryan goes down there I know that means lots of play dates with my sisters and friends. My family is already starting to plan my big 21 birthday party! 28 days!









(Harley got into the fireplace and somehow got 2 little black dots by her eyes. It looked pretty funny)

Its different world when your a kid!

I love the sound of children playing. Running, jumping, carefree kind of life. I remember having those days every now and again. Usually with my sister Donette. I don't think she ever really grew up. We would eat spaghetti o's, watch Ren and Stimpy, hike, camp at the "red rocks" and of course keeping the camera close by. I dreamed of the days I would get to see my sister. Those were the special weekends when I would live in a different world. I could be a kid. I had great brothers and sisters who would let me be young. I didn't have to think like a grown up and make sure I was always saying the right things. I learned very young when I could say certain things and when I should say what he wanted to hear. A big reason I feel like I'm 2 different people is because I am not like I was then. For those of you close to me know- can you imagine telling me to feel a certain way or not say something. UMM- I don't think so! Most of the people in our neighborhood don't care to much for us. We don't go to church and we have a loud dog! The kids however love to come to our house. We get out the pool and slip-n-slide and they play for hours. We have come to know the kids pretty well so we know who they belong to and where they live so we try our best to go out of our way to get to know their families to. (Mainly because their kids hang around our place so much) Every now and again I get a few great shots of the kids playing. I love it and could sit and watch them for hours.

Happy Bday Beehive

Happy 24Th of July!
My Mom loves to get tickets for the Bees game every year and invites all who will want to come. Since she started my sister Kristianne and I have gone EVERY YEAR! We have a lot of fun watching the game, pigging out on snow cones and dippin dots, people watching and finally enjoying the fireworks. We had so much fun hanging out together- until the fireworks show when both Kristianne and I got a dumb ash fall into our eye ball! I swear I almost went blind. I was panicking. It was burning and I almost called 911! Okay Ryan thought I was getting a little out of hand but that's usually how I am.

Cute Cute OliviaJust Ryan and KendraKristianne and OliviaFunny Faces Mom and Jesse

Happy Birthday To RYAN!

I am a big slacker of a wife and don't have any pictures of my amazing husband to post- OOPS.

Ill get some loaded within the next few days :)

July 20 1984 was the day this world was changed for forever because Sir Ryan Webster was born! Oh my prince charming! I could fill this blog along with a few more blogs about how lucky I am to not only know someone like Ryan but be married to Ryan. He is more than I could have ever asked for. Since the day we got married Ryan continues to surprise me with his love. He is so understanding with all the issues I have and all the problems I face on a daily basic. He was never an affectionate person. He did not share his feelings and he likes his space. Oh can I be anymore the opposite! Ryan is always holding me extra longer, sending me a letter, calling just because and showering me with complements. I don't know how I have flipped this boy around but I think its simply because he is such a loyal and devoted husband. Ryan demonstrates how great of a father he is going to be when we have Devlin and Teagan. He loves them so much and will do anything for them.

Last year I had a huge surprise party for Ryan (cowboy themed) haha... We had so many people over and such a huge bash that we decided to play it a little low key this year. Friday night we went out with his good friends from work for dinner. Saturday we went shopping for bday presents and a new outfit then headed off to the PBR. Grandma Diane watched baby Harley while we headed off to the Little America. It was so fun ordering room service, movies and staying up late. After we got a late check out we headed home for our family pool and pizza party. Ryan got some great gifts from his family and mine. He is so spoiled :)

Ill make sure to get some pictures of the birthday boy himself soon!

PBR

So Ryan and I are in love with country! I am in love with cowboys! Ryan's dream is to be a bull rider. He is going to be taking classes this next year and he just cant wait. Well we have made a tradition to go to the PBR finals in Vegas every year. Its always the last week of Oct and first week of Nov. We already have our tickets and cant wait! Whenever the PBR (any series) comes through Utah we always go. This year it was during the Days of 47 Rodeo. We had such a blast. We had great seats on the 4Th row on the floor. We could almost touch the bulls :)






So here are some great pictures. My cowboys to the left some awesome bull riding above and this one guy was amazing with his horses and buffa-LO. They would do all these tricks just by his howls and cracking of his whip. They were turning in circes on his trailer and running one way or the other. It was awesome and he is a TRUE cowboy- AHH!

Just a Hint

Someone does something wrong-they say sorry-you forgive!
That's the way it goes right? What if someone does something really bad? What if they did something that has shaped the rest of your life for the bad? Do you still need to forgive those people? I started this blog just thinking ill put up some fun pictures and use it as a little journal (because I'm so bad at keeping one myself) I have seen some blogs that are very personal- when I have told some people to look at them since they inspire me and they come back with- why would they publish something like that? I started thinking wow- maybe I shouldn't write such personal things- who wants to hear that. Well if you don't want to hear it I'm going to tell it anyway simply because even if your not listening I am talking and it feels good to get it out. I need to talk and I need to find some kind of therapy in this world. I hate complaining and no matter what has or will ever happen in my life I don't ever want someone to feel sorry for me. Life happens for a reason and even if its a hard issue I believe it was suppose to happen to me. I will never say "Why Me." I thought years ago that I wanted to stare a little part of my story with others because when I was going through things I always wanted someone who could relate to me through all the trauma. Believe me I think I had it really well compared to what others have had to go through in life. I like to hear how people deal with their struggles and how they over come them because I really learn from that. So here I go, my blog will be my journal and a way to release my mind. I talk to other esp my amazing husband but sometimes I want to tell it to the world but not make others feel obligated to give me a response. If you don't like these kinds of blogs- don't read mine.
I got a letter today, its not the first time I have received a letter like this- actually I have received quite a few over the last few months. Ever since I am now an adult and the courts have removed the "no contact" order. The letters always have so much in it that I get sleepy after trying to interpret them. Not only because of poor word structure but because of the way he talks. A foreign language is the best way to describe it. Half the letter it leaves me sad, feeling guilty and missing. The other part leaves me angry, feelings of hate and confusion. You can only imagine the big block of information that is shoved into usually 3-4 pages. This particular letter first came with my married name on the envelope. You may not think anything of that however I never told him my married name. The last he knows me as, Kendra White. I have made a point to not let him know. Well the secrets out. The letters have always been sent to a different address not to my home. In the middle of the 3rd page of this letter he describes my little brother and his relationship. My anger is boiling. I don't like him talking about this perfect little person that was traumatized by the choices he made. Jonathan, who always dreamed of being just like him when he grew up but Jonathan soon all the sudden realized he would be nothing like him. I am very protective over Jonathan. The letter goes on- and he says the words that I don't want to hear- He wants pictures so he can have "just a hint" of my life.
All I can think is that this is my life now. For the most part he has not been in it since I was 13. Just a hint would mean giving him an image. He has the image of a little 13 year old girl who doesn't know what the hell is going on in this world. Now I'm an adult and stronger than he could imagine. This "just a hint" will give him everything I have been working to create for myself and leaving him out of.

That little girl is the old me.

Family walk in the Mountains

We went on a walk with Ryan's family last night. We had a lot of fun just being together. The weather was perfect and it was fun to see some of the animals! Harley and Addison I think had a great time just being outside! Addison was so excited to drink from a water bottle, she kept smiling and laughing.

Devlin and Teagan

We had a fun weekend with Devlin and Teagan. We were very busy and lets just say Kendra never slept. Teagan is a great baby though! Devlin had a hard weekend. He is a 5 year old and doesn't want rules and being told No. Poor guy shed to many tears but Kendra usually joined right in with him. Devlin has his own room but didn't want to sleep in there this weekend. He had to sleep where ever Kendra and Ryan were. Teagan is a typical 2 month old and wakes up a few times through the night so Kendra slept down stairs with Teagan and Devlin while Ryan got a good night rest with Harley in our bed. We didn't go to a water park but we did take Devlin to Kangaroo Jump which is a great bounce house place. He had a great time jumping, flipping and running! We also got a slip and slide this summer and Devlin loves it. Ryan got a great idea to make it more slippery and put dish soap all over it! Devlin flew over the end a few times. It was so much fun to have these kids even when its not always the easiest :)

UPDATE

Well for all the things I was going to do differently yesterday- well I'm sad to say I didn't do near as well as I wish I would have. Yesterday was not the best day so I failed in a few departments!

These are the things I DID do:

-I was not crazy in traffic!

-I got my husband a card and thanked him for letting me have a girls party

-I thanked God

-I kept a smile on my face even if it was forced

-I was grateful it was Thursday-NIGHT

So I failed to walk my poor dog, I didn't make dinner instead we went out to eat at our favorite restaurant, I didn't stay up late watching the stars I actually stayed up late cleaning and doing laundry, It wasn't the emails that kept me busy it was the "issues", I had only a few neg thoughts in my head. So today and this weekend will be better! It was just one of those days!

Today has already started out as a wonderful day! I got up at 5 AM to start getting ready so I could talk to my brother Ben on our web cam at 6 AM. As I logged on I couldn't help but shack with anticipation to see my brother for the first time on our new web cam! I was worried he wouldnt be on but-He was logged on! woohoo.. I got to see my nieces, Ben and MyungLim. Ah it was so great to hear them and see them but It made me sick how much I miss them. Ryan and I just bought a new computer for the simple fact that I NEEDED to start seeing my brother! So we got a very nice laptop with a camera built in! They all looked so big and cute. My chubby little Donna was not so chubby anymore, she was thin! Well thin for those girls :) My brother has healthy babies! Ah my nieces are so beautiful. I have already called Ryan and told him we are starting to plan our next trip to see them. I don't care how much it cost I'm going next year! haha... We have actually been talking about maybe going again for Christmas next year. I think ill try to stay 2 weeks and Ryan will only stay 1. Oops maybe I should ask my brother if we are even welcome :) Love you BEN!!! I'm coming whether you like it or not!

So for this weekend Ill start doing better today at staying positive we have Devlin and Teagan so we will be very busy. I think we are going to try and take them to a water park- Well take Devlin. Teagan and I will hang out under a tree or something :)

Just for today -part 2-

Just for today I'm going to enter a watermelon eating contest and come in 3rd!

Oh boy oh boy it was something else to experience :)

Let me warn you that these are NOT flattering! It was horrible lighting and the hair nets DON'T make anyone look that attractive!

The Crew! The cute girl to the left of me was the winner!!!

(Let me just add that I dont know why im standing like I have to pee)

EAT EAT EAT

It was something I have never done before but it was so much fun! My nose is hurting really bad though because the juice went up there! I got a little melon in my eye as well so its now red. I guess those are the prices to pay to try and be Ms. Watermelon Champ!

Just for today!

Just for today...

- Ill let 2 people over in traffic instead of 1

- I will sit back and drive the speed limit instead of trying to get to work in record time

- I will go out of my way to buy my husband a card thanking him for letting me have a girls party last night and keeping my dog and himself out of the house

- There will not be a negative thought about anyone run through my head

- I will make a very healthy dinner that both my husband and I will actually eat :)

- The amount of emails that come in will not keep me from asking everyone who walks by my desk how they are doing

- The pressure of the future will not drive me crazy

- I will thank God every chance I get for all my blessings

- Ill send 2 letters to my brother Jonathan

- I will take my dog for a nice long walk and enjoy just being able to do that

- Ill keep a smile on my face until my checks hurt

- I will stay up late to watch the sun go down and see the stars come out instead of gluing myself to the tube

- Ill be grateful its still Thursday

I'm breaking out of the mold today. I have decided to make some small changes just for today. I think everyone should try this and tell me what you think!

Life

There is this amazing family out in the blog world that I accidentally came across a few weeks ago. This family recently lost their youngest baby to a tragic accident and she is telling her story on here. I check in everyday just to see her inspirational words. I probably shouldn't keep looking at it while I'm at work because without fail I cry every time I even open it up. She is such an amazing women. Seeing her emotions as she deals with this is eye opening. I cant help but sit back and realize what a great life I have. How lucky I am to have the things and people I do in my life.
I was 9 years old when my best friend/sister died. I can still feel the same pain I did the first time I found out. Since she died its rare that a day goes by that I don't think of her however over this past year she has been in my mind even more. I am at the age now that she was when she got in a car accident and lost her life. I think to myself if today was my last day would I have done the things I want to on this earth? Will my family and esp my husband know how much I truly love them? Those frustrated words I used with Ryan last night could be the last words he ever hears- Is that how I want to leave him?
Now I'm not saying ill be leaving anytime soon- believe me- I have so much more to learn and do before its my turn but I don't know when that will be. This blog that this wonderful family is doing keeps me so focused on how precious life is. I see how amazing these little children that come from God are. Every time one of my nieces or nephews has been born I cant help but have one of my first thoughts be that my sister was the last one to hold them before she gave them to us. I feel so close to her at those times. Some day when I am privileged enough to have my own children I don't know what I'm going to do when I get to hold my baby for the first time. I cant help but cry already thinking how special that is going to be.
I hope you can all check out this blog and see how life changing it is!
http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/

I love my Freedom!

Happy 4Th of July!

I want to first thank every troop out there for all the hard and dedicated work you all do for us everyday to keep our freedom. To give us a day like July 4Th to celebrate. I am lucky enough to have an amazing brother who diligently serves our country everyday and risks his life for everyone of us! I see his pictures and heard his words while in Iraq and cant believe how strong all those men and women are over there. Everywhere- Not just Iraq but every military base in the world! I have a few other close friends who also served and I'm speechless of the things they see and do on a daily basis. You are all truly angels. I cant find enough words to express how truly grateful I am for each and everyone of you! It really takes a hero to be a solider!

Thank You and I love you all!

Wedding Bells!

Mr. and Mrs. Derek Anderson!

My Allie got married to her high school sweetheart last Wednesday!
I was privileged enough to attend their wedding and reception.
All I have to say is I want to get married (to Ryan) again. It was so beautiful. I really was taken back how special and inmate the whole thing was. Allie was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Her dress was gorgeous and it looked perfect on her. Their little girl Emma was the cutest little thing. She did such a great job being the flower girl. They had a great line full of family and friends who all looked amazing to! The ceremony was short and perfect (just how I like it) they each said a little something to each other which almost make me fall over with emotion. Their words to each other were so sweet and amazing. I really cant get enough of how great their wedding went and I am so excited for them both. Derek was a great friend to me for many years! Oh we go way back with lots of laughs. Allie has been there for me since we were young little freshman. She has always been such a great friend and I cant imagine my life without these 2. I love you all so much and I wish you a lifetime of happiness!

Ahh I love Weddings. I could have one every weekend!

Check out my Slide Show!

Be Careful!

So I had a wake up call on Monday afternoon!

I don't take lunches very often because I get pretty busy at work but I decided to meet my Mallory for lunch. Running late anyway I was trying to hurry and get there driving at record speed for down town SLC. We were going to met at the Bakery which is on 300E and 300S. I was stopped at a red light only blocks from my destination watching this older women cross the street with her little walker. My mind was running on all the things that I need to do today and feeling over whelmed when in a split second another car made a left hand turn across the street and ran over this little old lady! Her walker went flying prob. 30 feet and I quickly searched the street to see where this lady was. She was laying on the ground shaking back and forth. The driver of the car that hit her jumped out and ran over to her. I shoved my car in park in the middle of the street and jumped out running over to her. I started to cradle her back so that she would fall over more. Blood was pouring out of her head blocking her vision. A few other people came running over and we all kept trying to talk to her. She wouldnt respond and kept looking at us like we were crazy nuts and wondering what just happened. I was so worried at first because she wouldn't say anything. I finally got her to sit down on her butt but I worried that the 100 degree pavement would burn her. Everyone kept shouting not to move her not to move her. She finally spoke and asked for some water. I ran to grab her some water from my car not knowing she shouldn't drink if she has a head injury. Don't worry though a nice lady screamed and threw the water bottle back at me telling me she cant drink anything. We all helped apply pressure to her head and a few other people held a blanket to shield her from the sun. The paramedics were there withing probably 5 minutes. They snatched her up and drove her away. I had to spend another 15 minutes filling out a police report before I was finally off to meet Mallory.

For the rest of the day I kept thinking about this lady. I prayed she would be fine and I think she is but how scary a simple mistake can be. It really made me realize I need to be more careful not only driving on the main roads but esp in my neighborhood. I have so many little kids running around all day that it could be so easy to accidentally hit one of them. I really don't think I could live with myself if I did that either. AHH... What a scary reality check!