Saturday, August 3, 2013

Follow up to 'Need to Write''

Thank you for the sweet comments that definitely helped me feel like I wasn't alone.
After I posted that post I kept having this nagging feeling and wanted to clear something up.
Not that anyone said anything but its just for myself because I want to make sure I say it.
I KNOW how lucky and how blessed we are that we are in a situation that I can work from home and be with Tracker everyday. There are so many Mums out there that wish so much they could be in my situation and be home with their little's and its not possible. I am so sorry if my post made it seem I wasn't grateful or wasn't happy to be in this role.
That guilt I feel is just because I want to do everything I can to pull my weight with our family and I am used to that weight being in the form of bringing in a paycheck. I now just need to see my role differently. Like a few of you reminded me... I am working... I am doing what I have always dreamed of. I am doing a very important job. That is raising our son. I am the one that gets him up everyday. I am there for every tear, every laugh, every mess, every new trick. I am the one who is teaching him. That is a very important job. He will only be my baby for so long. He will grow and become his own man and its important that I teach him what a good man is. Who knows who he will be in life but he is part of the future and my role is to help shape him into someone that will make a positive impact on this world. That is a very big role. That is a HUGE job. How have I never looked at it that way before? Sure right now my days are full of teaching him to point, wave, sign all done or more or teaching him to walk. My "job" doesn't seem like its all that relevant. But its all part of helping Tracker grow. Learn. and develop.
All you working Mums are on double time. You are working at your paycheck job and then come home and still have to "work" at your Mommy job. You really are amazing!
No matter what situation you are in. No matter what your main "job" is. None of it is easy. We are all working our butts off and doing everything we can to raise the best kids we can.
I need to remember to give myself a break. I need to remember I am working and my role is important.
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Trinity said...

I feel the same way. No one in particular has said anything point blank to make me feel badly. However, at times I feel there is a little hurt or bitterness (perhaps) behind another's words when I say I stay home, but at times I wish I worked or that I feel badly for not contributing. By contributing I do mean, monetary. I do believe that being a mother is indeed, the most important job in the world. Whether you are a homemaker or a homemaker/employee; we are all mothers. I do feel honored to be home, but at times I feel like I would benefit from working part time as would my family financially and my boys benefit from being with someone other than mommy, all the time. Being a mother and choosing or having the option to stay home, work part time, full time, or whatever you choose; each choice is personal and well thought out. We cannot truly understand all that goes into such a decision. I too need to give myself a break at moments and have come to this conclusion. I am working and playing a very important role in the family finances. My husband is able to work and provide for us because he knows and understands that his children are being cared for and loved by someone he trusts, mommy. He is able to focus on work because he knows his boys are safe. His paycheck comes because we both do our part for him to provide for our family the monetary things that we need to survive. On top of that we both provide the physical and emotional necessities to raise happy and healthy boys. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I hope to always have the utmost respect for all mothers because in the end, we are all mothers doing the best we can.

rcbe1 said...

I do know how you feel about pulling your own weight though. It is such a balancing act I am also a stay at home Mom of older children we feel it is very important that we be the ones raising our children,and knowing what they are up to.But I too feel guilty for not contributing financially when diffrent financial struggles come up I feel like I need to work.You are so blessed to stay home try to enjoy it because before you know it your children really will be grown up. I just lost my Dad and death really does put what is important into perspective, so I am once again reminded I am doing the right thing being home:)

Emma said...

I think most, if not all, stay at home moms understand how you feel. I often feel like what I do isn't enough, not necessarily because of not making money but just making an impact. I know I am making memories and raising my kids and in theory I know how important that is but sometimes I feel like there needs to be more. I wouldn't change being home for anything, but there is a part of me that misses doing something for me-that makes my brain work more, learning something, teaching something and having a passion. It is so easy to get lost in our kids, and that is ok as they need us to be focused on them, but I am learning it is also important to remember who we are as individuals-and staying at home makes that really, really hard. Try to find something, other than your family, that you are passionate about-put some time and energy into that, make time for it. I haven't done that and wish I had. As much as I love my kids they won't be here forever, whether that be gone for 8 hours for school or moved out when they are grown, and we need to remember who we are as women, not just moms!
love and hugs always, Em

cummings said...

I would love to be able to follow your private blog. You don't know me but I think you are amazing! Thanks, Amber

Sparker said...

Hi Kendra, I wanted to leave a comment on your other blog but it doesn't look like you accept them there and I don't know what email of yours is current anymore so sorry for trying to contact you in this round about way!! I saw you mention BLUUM on one of your last posts. I saw that members can get free months if friends sign up and wanted to give you credit. Do you need to send me something or when I sign up do I just mention you? Also, how have you liked it? Do they send you boxes based on the ages of your kids or is it just one basic box that goes out to everyone? Does it seem like it's worth the money? Thanks!


P.s. you can just email me back :) (

emeraldsue1 said...

Hi, I had written you before when you started your private blog. You had given me access to it, but then my dumb computer crashed and I no longer have the link. I miss seeing what cute little Tracker is up to and how you guys are doing after your move.

Can you hook me up again? thanks!



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