tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post5359406152727768893..comments2023-10-21T06:25:18.294-06:00Comments on Calling All Angels: oh the tears keep flowingRyan.Kendra.Makenzie.Trackerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06190931045172497736noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-2191346575251430682012-07-08T21:25:59.784-06:002012-07-08T21:25:59.784-06:00Can I just tell you how much I love you! Seriously...Can I just tell you how much I love you! Seriously you are amazing and every time you write I can feel ya!! Im sorry your having a rough time. I say cry it out! Cry, cry, cry if it helps you feel better that is what you should do. Dont worry baby T wont think your a mess... hes going to be so happy to join your sweet family!brigettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03762214896655486508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-36943813306357595122012-07-08T14:45:24.331-06:002012-07-08T14:45:24.331-06:00Hi kendra, its absoutly normal for you to feel so ...Hi kendra, its absoutly normal for you to feel so emotional after what you have been through. Reading your story about Makenzie was like reading an image of my story. I know exactly what you mean about the crying, sometimes you just can't stop it. <br />cCeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09505037460094934374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-41727339275024852702012-07-07T15:08:58.842-06:002012-07-07T15:08:58.842-06:00It is therapeutic to write things out. You are doi...It is therapeutic to write things out. You are doing such a great job at expressing yourself, which you've always done, and that means that even though you feel different, you are still you. You have the amazing strength to get through hard things! You can make it each day, you will love your little boy, life will be hectic bliss! Hugs<br /><br />Alissa<br />ripleyadoption.blogspot.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18356107336574198732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-71381406702077191432012-07-07T14:34:39.985-06:002012-07-07T14:34:39.985-06:00I'm still praying for you Kendra. I know you ...I'm still praying for you Kendra. I know you will make it through and see some amazing sunshine on the other side of this rut...<br /><br />((hugs))Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14097524245814056758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-53101939896405511042012-07-07T10:38:13.949-06:002012-07-07T10:38:13.949-06:00I get anxiety pretty bad when I am pregnant also. ...I get anxiety pretty bad when I am pregnant also. I am literally SCARED to see how it effects me next time after losing Pierce. I know I will be a crazy crying anxious mess. <br /><br />I do the same thing, plan what I wuold do if "something" happened. It never actually happens like that. I always think I would handle things much more gracefully than I do. ;)<br /><br />Hang in there. Hopefully these pregnancy emotions can let up a little. I'll say a little prayer for you. ♥Aleshahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17329787388902240892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-5250248970308210492012-07-07T06:42:52.721-06:002012-07-07T06:42:52.721-06:00Kendra, hang in there. Don't be so hard on you...Kendra, hang in there. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing great. Sincerely, another SMA momJen from MNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05100122296328871446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-29591277907552334022012-07-06T19:40:19.475-06:002012-07-06T19:40:19.475-06:00Hugs and know you are loved. God is watching, lis...Hugs and know you are loved. God is watching, listening and blessing. Each tear is noted in Heaven, you are loved.<br />JillJillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16246306073053857033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-63494608756523371042012-07-06T16:06:17.889-06:002012-07-06T16:06:17.889-06:00Oh my heart breaks for you! You don't know me,...Oh my heart breaks for you! You don't know me, but I've been following and reading your posts silently. I think I could've written this post.. at least the emotion side. I can't say I know what you're going through. I've never lost a child, but my dad was unexpectedly killed when I was 13 and when I got pregnant with my first child after his death my emotions went CRAZY. I cried all the time over EVERYTHING, and I was totally and completely overcome and paralyzed by fear.. fear of losing my husband, fear of dying myself, fear of losing my baby. <br />I think what you are going through is perfectly "normal" for someone who has gone through the grief and pain you have.<br />I have the "plan" too.. the plan if my husband died, if my kids die, or if they all die, and during my pregnancy I'd get vivid daydreams of them being killed and would be hysterical for hours and hours. During my pregnancy, the fears and thoughts of losing them consumed me and I thought I was nuts.<br />You've been through the worst thing in life.. something that will never EVER leave you, something that has changed your perspective, your course of life, and how you approach different things, and that is something only you can understand. Its horrible, its not fair, but you understand the reality that horrible things happen and pregnancy sure does have a way of amplifying those emotions and drawing them out in an uncontrollable way.<br />The thoughts are normal, but I promise you that once your baby is here, the fears and hormones and tears won't be so strong. My child(ren) have been one of my biggest sources of strength, joy, hope, healing, and purpose in the wake of losing my dad, and I think that once your precious bundle arrives, it'll bring some healing to your broken heart. <br />I will pray for you, that Jesus will wrap his loving arms tightly around you! Don't doubt yourself, you've been through hell.. you're an amazing mom and your little boy sure is lucky to have you!Kaylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05734289042913083616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-49490132738505441832012-07-06T16:05:46.758-06:002012-07-06T16:05:46.758-06:00You should read the book "You are not your br...You should read the book "You are not your brain." It teaches how to over come deceptive brain messages that are taking over your life or that cause you to act in ways you don't like. I have read a lot of self help books and this is the best one I have ever read and I really think it could help you. Your library probably has it. Seriously I recommend it. What you are going through would be so hard, but it doesn't have to be this way. There is so much hope for the future. Good luck with everything.Estherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01809829566737470554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-62334602772039325012012-07-06T14:05:08.154-06:002012-07-06T14:05:08.154-06:00I am so sorry that you are feeling so emotionally ...I am so sorry that you are feeling so emotionally overwhelmed. I can't imagine what you are going through as I have not been through the loss of a child. I have however, been pregnant twice and I am an emotional person anyways and added hormones just made me much more emotional. After reading about all your fears and desires I think your fear just surpasses the desires of your heart. Not that your desires are less, but you have been through a lot and I think that you are just scared of what could happen. No one expects to lose a child or husband and that is a very scary thought. I think that you will be an excellent mother to this child as well as you were to/still are to your daughter. I believe that once he is placed in your arms much of your worry will fade away. You may never completely get over the fear of losing your loved ones because sadly, you know just how hard that is. However, you can enjoy each and every possible minute you do have with them. I know that although all seems well right now with my family that that can all change in an instant. I just strive to be the best mom I know how to be and make sure that my family knows just how much I love and care for them. I think you are doing amazing and if crying and typing down your thoughts helps than by all means cry and type. I pray for comfort for you at this time.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08784813227951661229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-81975101256129977272012-07-06T12:37:24.256-06:002012-07-06T12:37:24.256-06:00Kendra,
You don't know me, but I found your...Kendra, <br /> You don't know me, but I found your blog somehow and have been following your story. I want you to know that you're not alone with your fears. I have never lost a child, and I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am also 30 weeks pregnant with a 2 1/2 year old and so much of what you say rings a bell with me. I also have a history of anxiety, and while my first child actually "cured" it for me, the impending birth of the second one has brought it back. There is just so much to think about--money, keeping up with the house, being a good wife, etc. Just wanted you to know that you are not that abnormal :) Hang in there, and I hope the birth of that sweet little boy will bring you comfort!<br /><br />JulieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04466754046441755214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-83198104092204131202012-07-06T12:25:28.884-06:002012-07-06T12:25:28.884-06:00Kendra, I'm so sorry that you are struggling s...Kendra, I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much with fear right now. I pray that you will have some peace from that soon and am glad you have found some help in crying it out -- sometimes that is the best option. A good cry doesn't hurt anything :). <br /><br />Though I haven't been in your situation, I have dealt with a lot of fear/anxiety and was even diagnosed with panic disorder once. That is much better now, thankfully, with some help first of medication and then, when I got to a place where God became a part of my life, with years of leaning on Him, prayer, and learning to give my cares to Him. It's a work in progress though and I still have good days and bad when it comes to the fear thing. <br /><br />Anyway, I am reading Angie Smith's book "What Women Fear" right now and it is amazing. If you have a chance, even if it's not until your little guy arrives and you need a book to read during those late night/early morning feedings, you should check it out. It talks so much about all of the types of fear you mention here and how they are normal and a part of life. I think you'd enjoy it.Shawnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03569796313601629565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-74784180282186614472012-07-06T07:09:55.798-06:002012-07-06T07:09:55.798-06:00Hey Kendra! I've been reading your blog for a...Hey Kendra! I've been reading your blog for awhile now. Ah the joys of pregnancy hormones huh?! A good cry is ok. It's normal to feel a weepy crying mess while pregnant! Been there done that! Lean on your family and friends for support during this time. Tell them how you feel. Keep your doctor in the loop too. Everyone is with you, cheering you on until your baby's birth and after!! Hang in there!macroshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08028787946049075838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-14445974514971443912012-07-05T22:21:58.358-06:002012-07-05T22:21:58.358-06:00Hi Kendra, I have read your sweet blog for a while...Hi Kendra, I have read your sweet blog for a while, although this is my first comment. First of all, I want to tell you what an outstanding, inspirational mom and woman you are. Your Makenzie was so gorgeous and precious - I can tell all she ever knew was profound and absolute love. As a mom of a 3 year old son and 5 month old daughter who are both my EVERYTHING (along with my husband, of course) I can relate to your incredible love for your children and also the anxieties that go along with such great vulnerability. I just wanted to send you and your family some love and prayers and I hope that your fear and anxiety will let up, you don't deserve to have your own thoughts torture you. You are a thoughtful, strong, blessed, and LOVING mom and wife, that's what matters most!Jamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00627514187268255060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-22381510435280567542012-07-05T21:09:23.967-06:002012-07-05T21:09:23.967-06:00I had postpartum depression and one of the hardest...I had postpartum depression and one of the hardest symptoms to deal with was my clinginess to my husband. I felt SOOO alone and I dreaded the moment he left the house to go to work. Every minute he was gone felt like hours. It was excruciating. I can totally relate. Big hugs from Ontario, Canada.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12606085237103599610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-43701240418388286082012-07-05T20:24:23.596-06:002012-07-05T20:24:23.596-06:00“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but...“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).<br /><br />Live by FAITH and not by fear :) (easier said than done, I know. but you are an amazing person and just the fact that you are trying to work things out makes you a good person and great mom. take a deep breath and focus more on having faith that the Lord will make it all right.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15355037652494697543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926880480919201378.post-7000422554980015942012-07-05T19:29:36.666-06:002012-07-05T19:29:36.666-06:00I think everything that you're feeling is comp...I think everything that you're feeling is completely normal. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time though. I can't even begin to imagine the fear and worry that goes through your mind every day.<br /><br />Please know that I pray for you often.Ashley Quarleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649907814487220886noreply@blogger.com