I hope Christmas in Heaven was the most perfect Christmas ever.
I can only imagine how Beautiful it was.
I wonder what in the world a celebration for Jesus would be like. Do they serve food? Do you even eat in Heaven? I hope so.. I cant imagine not being able to eat a steak :)
Do they decorate? What games do they play? Do they sing and dance?
I know whatever it is.
Its nothing any of us could imagine. Its bigger.
I wish I could peak in on her. I wish I could check to make sure she was to bed on time. That she was eating enough. That she was enjoying her nightly baths. Wondering how she would look. What would she love? Would she have a favorite toy. I wish I could just make sure she really is doing as amazing as I dream she is doing. I can only imagine. I just pray.
We did the decorating, presents and hugs and kisses.
Merry Merry Christmas my little Love.
I pray you had a wonderful day and gave Jesus extra kisses. Thank him for everything he has done and for giving us this day. For everyone to remember him. To realize he life we live and will continue to live is because of him. Kenzie please tell Jesus I am not mad at him anymore. It has taken me a long time. Too long. Tell him I am sorry for blaming him. I know this life was chosen. He did all he did to save her. To make it so she wouldn't have to suffer any more.
I miss you Makenzie. More than anyone could ever be missed. What I have learned is what I miss most is the love we had together. I miss you physically- so so much. But I miss what my heart would feel when you were here. I miss loving you that much. My love has not gone away. But with every bit of love, there is a little bit of hurt. Because this love I feel, is never ending. But its a love I have to send. Its a love I have to give to my daughter that I will not ever see again in this lifetime. I will never feel. I will never kiss. I am so thankful for what you gave me. As hard as any day ever is, I would never give up that life because that life- was the best life. and that Love. Is a love I will never feel for anyone else.
Merry Christmas Muffin.
I love you to the moon.