Happy Halloween!!!!

My Mom had her annual Halloween party at her house last night. All the kids came and were so excited to play her games and eat her creepy food! As they are all getting older Grandma really needs to step up her game and get some "more challenging" activities for some of them like Tyler :) He is such a great sport and plays amazing with all the other kids. Here is what they dressed as:

Aidan- Care Bear

Anna- Princess

Lucy- Mummy

Tyler: Faceless Man

Ellie- Witch

















Olivia- In this pic a Dancer but she is really Super Girl



















Kian- Wouldn't sit still with his
costume on but he is a Monkey



















Amalie- Again wouldn't put her whole costume on
but she is a white cat

100 YEARS!

Hello I am back!
As I have posted my Grandma passed away last Friday. Bitter sweet is not the word to use but its refreshing to know she is happy and in a better place. She gave this world 100 years! Its amazing to me everything she has accomplished and been through. Her funeral was amazing. I am not a funeral person and actually dread them- Hers was actually really great. A few of her close friends spoke about her life and my sister Amy did an amazing job talking about everything Grandma has taught her. She went from covered wagons to flying in a plane. Losing her husband, daughter and grand daughter among many others in her life. She was really an incredible person! She always accepted me as a grand daughter. I never knew her as anything else. I miss Christmas with fresh baked bread, new slippers she just crochet, bottled everything and my favorite- relish- don't ask me why but I used to eat that out of the jar! She even gave me my own a few times as gifts :)

Pick up sticks in the basement along with the best dolls and home made doll clothes. I miss her and I miss her smiles and hugs. What a beautiful person she was!

Thanks to my sisters who were incredible with her. Giving her the opportunity to spend her last days at home. I really hope all the patience they have will rub off on me a bit. They were all so amazing- dedicating their lives to her for the last few years and even before. Its times like now I realize more and more how great life is. I have some amazing people to look up to in my life and I am so grateful for that.

Myrtle Ethel Rogers Gallyer

Myrtle Ethel Rogers Gallyer 6/7/1908 ~ 10/24/2008 Born in Twin Falls, Idaho to Rufus and Rowena Rogers. She lived a long happy life and was even able to hold in her arms her last great-granddaughter, born 99 years and 11 months after her own birth.She worked hard her whole life, caring for countless foster children and offering service to anyone who would accept it. After 23 years, her prayer was answered when her baby Rowena Gallyer White (1950-1981) was born. She has now rejoined Rowena in heaven along with her dear husband, William Oliver Gallyer (1904-1996) and her granddaughter, Donette Rachelle White (1977-1997). She is remembered, loved, and survived by Kristianne Myrtle (Joshuah) Sandoval, Richard Bruce (Ashlyn) White, Benjamin William (Myung Lim) White, Amy Kathrine Spendlove, Kendra Webster, Jonathan White; 11 great-grandchildren, son-in-law Fred White, and many extended family members and loving neighbors. Funeral services will be held Monday, Oct. 27, 2008 at 11 a.m. in the Cannon 9th Ward, 1250 W. 1400 S. Friends may call at the Larkin Mortuary, 260 E. South Temple Sunday 6-8 p.m. and Monday at the Ward 10-10:45 a.m. Interment Larkin Sunset Gardens. Online condolences: www.larkincares.com

my thoughts are jumbled and I don't make sense

***A quick update before I begin- I made it out of this last weekend alive. Yes I almost froze to death at night but it was actually a blast! Flaming Gorge is BEAUTIFUL. I told Ry we are taking the boat up there first thing next summer! My camera is MIA at the moment so I will post pics once I find it (hopefully soon)






ON a different note... If you remember (or look in my past blogs) my Grandma Murtle who recently turned 100 is again not doing well. This time its much worse than a few months ago when we were told she only has a few days. She cant get out of bed now and really doesn't even wake up along with that her muscles are tightening. I was finally able to get out of school earlier than 9 PM last night so I took full advantage and went over to see her. I sat for a little while next to her holding her hand and playing with her hair. My mind wondered on a million different thoughts as I looked at all the pictures in her room. It has been 11 years since my sister passed. I then see my Grandma who has lived a very active life and is now 100 and my sister who died at the age of 20. What happened in these 2 peoples lives that made one live 80 years longer than the other?
After my sister died I hated the fact the sound of her voice kept slipping away. I tried to hold onto it but it eventually went away completely- I have a few very clear memories of her and each time I think of them I feel like its happening right now. She was such an outgoing person. She had a lot of love for everyone around her and she was so talented. It was after she died and I got a little older that I realized how much she was hiding from us. That she was not always happy and sometimes in a lot of pain. I feel like that so many times in my life.
My dad was consistently my whole life taking from therapist to therapist having me take pills here and there. I never really felt "normal" What is normal?
Sitting with my Grandma my thoughts are obviously all over the place. They go from one thought to another- While sitting there I realized it was October- the end of October. The month I have been fearing for years is in 3 short months- January. That is the moment my life could dramatically change, not just mine but my whole families. My fear is now so intense even though I have a husband who will not let anything happen to me along with every one of my siblings and most importantly, I am an adult and stronger than I have ever been. He cant hurt me now.

--- as much as I say that I cant get myself to believe that.
There is a picture of him in my Grandmas bedroom. It was taken years and years ago. What changed from that time in the picture to what he has become? Can so much pain in someones life make them go crazy? I wonder if I lost my spouse and one of my children if I could actually stay sane. I know I wouldn't do what he did but maybe he just lost his mind. I still will never see justification in his actions but I guess this is me trying to understand. I pick everything apart far to much I guess. So its only 3 months- what ever will happen will happen. I need to stop stressing. Focus on now! I love my Grandma. She is still so beautiful. I tried to call my incredible sister Kristianne who lives with Grandma this morning. No word yet how she is doing today. Have I said before I have amazing siblings? How did I get to be so lucky as to have each one of them?

Face Lift...

Welcome- How the face life?

So not sure how much I "love" it but I think its better than the ornament...

I sure miss that ornament though-sigh-

It has been great to start making new blogger buddies. I cant wait to get on and meet new people, everyone is so amazing and sweet. Hooray!!!

Hope everyone is going to have a wonderful weekend. I am going--- CAMPING.

HELLO.. in October?! Yes, my husband somehow got me to go camping with his friends who are hunting. I am worried half to death I wont wake up in the morning because ill have frozen to death but its the price to pay to have a happy husband. That will be Ryan and I hanging out of our tent roasting mallows. We don't have a cat but our dog will be chillin with us to! I have plenty of homework to do esp. studding for my Psych test next week so it will be a nice little get-a-way. PS. I really like this pink tent I found online.

Last night was pumpkin carving with 2 of my sisters, their kiddos and my hubby. It was a lot of fun. I tried to make a skull and cross bone but I cut the inside of my mans face out. GRR. I wasn't very happy. so now its a circle and some bones coming out the side :) Ill post pics next week. It was great to sit around with the gals I love so much (+RYAN) and chat about their dating life. HEHE.. They are so funny!

My super sweet pal Tara did this really fun vintage photo thing on her blog- I might have let it get out of control on my blog so I hope I'm not fashion faux pas-ing it :)

I loved putting pics of Ryan and I on here:

Ryan and I heading out on the town in Korea

At my Mothers Wedding

XoXoXoXoX

Happy Days Everyone!

Blog Fashion

Okay.. I'm not very good at getting my blog to be like Ms. Susie Homemakers blog. I am trying and as many know I almost change the background daily because I have yet to find one I really love. I ran through pictures by the dozen trying to find one for my heading... Yes the one I have now is a cute ornament my hubby made me last Christmas! What am I doing?

So I am now researching Blog Fashion- I don't want to have my page be a big fashion faux pas...

So many different types of fashion- what says KENDRA and RYAN?
Look at these earings? HELLO I would say you couldn't pay me to wear those things- yet when I googled "Fashion" these baby's popped up! So in my very NON fashion forward self I thought what would people see and know it screamed FASHION? I am definitely in the 'has been' style! I start to like certain things when they are last seasons sales. My dream growing up was to live in San Francisco or New York, now can you see fashionista Kendra strolling down the fashion streets with her knock off Louis Vuitton purse, blue jeans and volcom sweatshirt?
Over the last few months I have actually been very determined to start being for fashionable. Not just me but what comes along with me including my house, husband, dog and of course my BLOG. As I have been studing up on fashion I have found some "OH YEAHs" and some "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" responses- from well ME... I am a critic in my own mind... There are a few things/designers that I know and I figure If i know them- they must be great and anything they make is fashion forward! I am sure all the Lady's of the world know the famous red sole heel! Hello a dream shoe! These hundreds of dollar babys are something to shine about. I think if I had these I would wear a shirt that said- HELLO MY NAME IS KENDRA AND I'M WEARING CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SHOES! Now I don't know if I'm fashionista enough to pull these bad boys off but no matter what Louboutin shoe I was wearing I would still wear that shirt.. Hey maybe ill throw in my ON flip flop and wear that shirt anyway! So in my attempt to become for fashion forward please bear with my sad blog site. It may have a tree ornament for the picture today but it could be a work of art tomorrow! Tune in for all the exciting changes to the Webster Fashion Challenge page blog changing... umm.. thing I guess
I was thinking aloud (like always) maybe if I have a kid that will make my blog cute because it will be full of adorable pictures of someone other than my husband, Harley or me... :)

one week later

one week later...
Thank you to Tara and Mary Leigh for answering my last post. I really needed to hear some of the things you said to me! This week has definitely been filled with pondering thoughts and prayers. I am happy. Loving my life. I am so blessed to have all that I have. Thank you for reaching out to me when I needed someone.

more into the week- school school school hospital
i have been sick the last week or so. having an upset tummy or something. the pain has been getting worse. Thursday night it woke me in the middle of the night. i couldn't get it to go away no matter what i did.
my hero grabbed his screaming wife who was covered in tears and sweat and drove to the ER. pain meds, sleeping pills, a big ugly IV later i was knocked out cold. Ryan got a few more hours of the sports Chanel in on the 5"x 5" tv in the room. blood test came back normal- the grouchy doc told us to go home !!! ????? still drunk off the pills i stumbled to the car (STILL IN PAIN) and went home. family doctors are so much nicer and they make me feel loved :) looking into a few things because the pain is still around- def not as bad! what could it be? they are thinking Crohns disease.... hmm... not really something i want but at least I'm not dieing... hooray... life is great!
**the webster winter fun weekend included finally turning the heater on in the house (ahh..) a few more letters and boxes of candy plus a funny shirt to send my lil bro for the next package!
DI run... yeah they still only have crap- yummy dinner with family- Addy is getting too big.
haunted house- almost killed my poor husband, clowns- chainsaw man and Kendra don't mix but great time to spend with kely though.
one day at a time- my family is amazing, my work is amazing, my dog is amazing and my husband is incredibly amazing. my life is so blessed!

Finding Faith

Finding what you really believe in has not been simple for me. I grew up going to the LDS church learning one thing on Sundays and seeing another thing during the week. Obviously made life a bit confusing so what did I do? Ignore most of it. I remember hearing people talk in church saying how they "know" certain things or had an "AHH" moment that changed their life. Hmm. Sounded good to me so I mimicked it all. Through the years I continued to shadow others and their "beliefs" That then lead me to one day being alone. The people I followed were gone out of my daily life and I was left with nothing. I tried to make up what I "believed" and remember what others were saying to me but it left me with wrong answers and eventually becoming bitter. Bitter about God? No- but bitter about religion. I started to hear these answers to questions that didn't make sense in my life- what I went through in the past didn't add up to what everyone was telling me. Of course people don't make up a religion- I know that, however it was things they were telling me was right out of their scriptures. I tried for over a year to juggle my feelings, thoughts and believe me I was actively trying to find the truth for me.
I finally was left with no answers and more angry with everything than I was when I started. Life continued on and I tried to just get all this "belief" talk out of my life. NO SUCH LUCK! Not only living in Utah but having close family be part of this didn't leave me with it out of my life. It was actively pushed at me, talked about and life was revolved around it many times, Leading me to become more angry!
In January 2008 my best bud and little brother left to serve a mission for this belief I was so angry with. When he left It brought me back a few years to the "alone" feeling I felt that first time. When he left he asked me to try and find my belief again. Oh GREAT! This again! I started doing things like meeting with other missionaries that tried to answer some questions I had- didn't have much luck with them other than getting a few things straightened out and getting to a place I didn't feel as much "anger"

So here I am now- Feeling pretty comfortable with who I am and the path I am living. My belief= God. This may sound silly but I feel like there might be more. I am not sure but I am one of those people that for me and my life I want to completely eliminate any questions I have other wise I sit and stew on them everyday until I resolve it. So after this last weekend when there was a conference I was hoping I could hear from others- what it was like for them. Its been so long since I have listened to anything and I have pushed it out of my life so much that I don't remember the simple things like what certain people are called. Yeah that sounds really dumb but by pushing it away so much it was the only way for me to feel happy and not have that anger. So for those who have a belief and esp. for those who have heard this conference. Can I ask your feelings? I know some people are afraid to speak about this topic but I thought your suppose to- maybe I am wrong and remembering things wrong but regardless I am someone reaching out to anyone. I don't care if I don't know you and you stumbled across this blog. I want to know what you think-

Weekend Fun!

What a week and weekend!
3 kids =
poop butts, smelly hands, crying, screams, books, games, food, food, snacks, runny nose, homework, sleeping, snacks, drinks, bottles, spit up, blankets, hugs, kisses, laughs, smiles...
and we love every minute. This week has been another perfect week. What is it about screaming children that makes you realize how incredible life is? I cant figure that out yet however I really don't care. This week has been great other than rushing Teagan to insta care because of a horrible cough and having NO sleep due to this sick baby along with of course the regular school and work schedules to work into the kids school schedules.
Ryan was so awesome with the boys anytime I needed extra help and for him to watch them he was always right there doing everything.
The kids were always doing things to make us laugh. Teagan has now learned to officially roll all the way over this week but she gets stuck and smashes her face into the ground and screams bloody murder! Devlin is just like me in the way he is so clumsy! We both fall over air. I don't think he sat on a chair that he didn't fall off of for one reason or another. Kailum is just Mr boss man. Thinks he knows everything and everyone. I really hope I can be as smart as him one day. If he doesn't know the answer he makes one up and will defend it till he dies (which he does for almost everything that comes out of his mouth :)
They are all so adorable and funny kids.
Some of the fun pics I got while they were here:

Ryan and I will soon have a house with just the 2 of us! We have not had that in almost a month! Between Ryan being gone hunting and the kids with us- I cant believe how long its been. I'm getting very excited for Halloween-I have started to decorate and stock up for our Halloween Party! We had the best one last year so we think its now a tradition!

I'm so excited that its the fall. I hope it lasts for a while longer- the snow needs to wait! I love the snow during the month of December but that's it. I am anxious for fall leaves, Halloween, Apple cider, a light sweater day and of course Thanksgiving! Plus in 1 month Ryan and I will be celebrating 2 years of marriage. WOW seriously cant believe it :)

just wanted to save a memory...

After my trauma day the other day and my super upsetting post I'm sure everyone is wondering if I'm doing okay- ha ha RIGHT! Since only my dear Mary Leigh reached out to me in love :(

Just an FYI I am doing wonderful now! Harley and I have made up and put the past behind us.

Guess What-- The best news-- Ryan is HOME! My sweet, wonderful, beautiful husband is home and he brought food with him. Which means he got a deer! Yes my hunter has kept his family fed for another year. For all the people who don't like hunting and think its wrong- I'm very sorry but its no more inhumane than eating any other meat!!! We eat the whole thing and we really don't eat any other meat and its so much healthier for you. I sent Ryan with his camera and the boy forgot batteries and didn't think to just buy new ones so NO PICTURES. He had a great time with his Dad, Brother Shaun and his buddies Pat and Jim. I'm sure the mini man vaca ended to quickly for him but I was so ready for him to get home-and just in time-

This week we have the KIDOS, all three, Kailum*Devlin*Teagan

Ryan has been the best this week. Never a complaint. Even after yesterday when I had work then school- he picked up the boys from school while my MOMI watched Teagan and I had school all night. I called between class to check on them and Ryan tells me he and Devlin are reading together while Kailum finished his homework. NOW for those who know Ryan- HELLO- This is amazing! He has always been an amazing person but for him to READ A BOOK to Devlin- Yes sob story Kendra started to cry. So when I got home around 8:30 PM he had a great dinner all ready, Devlin in the tub and a fairly clean house. He immediately took over Teagan while I finished bathing Dboy. Kailum and Devlin couldn't stop telling me this morning on our way to school how much fun they have with Ryan and how much they love him. I seriously am the luckiest girl in the world. To top it off. Ryan volunteered to do it all over again today so I can go to his cousins baby shower! Ryan came into my life knowing these boys were there. He knew they would always be around and he accepted them so wonderfully. Now- I never ask him to take care of them or to really do anything with them because I don't want him to feel any sort of obligation- but I never have to ask- he does it plus more on his own! AH I love him so much. It really takes a Man to step into this kind of role!